Find Your Radiance - Hermann Hesse

Each man has only one genuine vocation -
to find the way to himself,
to discover his own destiny,
and live it out wholly and resolutely
within himself.
Everything else [is] only a
would-be-existence,
an attempt at evasion,
a flight back to the ideals of
the masses: conformity, a
fear of one's own inwardness.

Hermann Hesse

~

Your work is to discover your work
and then with all your heart
give yourself to it...

The Buddha

from: Living in Balance
Joel and Michelle Levey

~

We're all just walking each other "Home."

Ram Dass

~

Photo Art - Mystic Meandering
 Radiance Vortex
2024

 

Balance - MacIver & Levey

Your inner world guides you without you knowing it.
Our thought patterns determine the quality of our lives.
That inner process works at the depth of each of us
carrying the meaning that has been trying to establish
itself in our existence.  It embodies the potential of who
we are when our life expresses itself as a whole.
Silence helps...

A sign of balance is a comfort with silence, both Silence
within and silence without.

Rod MacIver
Artist/Writer
Heron Dance

~

Balance can be sensed in terms of the waves of the Ocean.
...at a deeper level, the changing tides of such "waves" are balanced
by the profound reality of an unchanging "Ocean" within you;
Just as the Ocean is the water that forms all waves, 
The Ocean within you is the universal reality or essence
that dwells within all beings... 

[Some call this the Silence]
 Discovering the Ocean is vitally important for the
 discovery of balance, because it
provides a place of peace for you to return home to, despite
the chaos of the day.

...keep balanced on the waves of our challenging lives...

Joel and Michelle Levey
From: Living in Balance

~

Personal Note:  For many years the Inner Silence was my refuge.
Then life fell out of balance about 2 years ago through unexpected
life circumstances and I was unable to *access* the Silence,
or maintain balance, literally.
My energy and body are really out of whack.
Returning to doing my funky art vortexes seems to be helping
to find a sense of inner balance again, but I need to rediscover
the deep Inner Silence of Being and align with that.
One step at a time...

MM

~

Photo - Wave Vortex
Craypas oil with fingers
Mystic Meandering
Aug 2024

 

Alegria! - Joy - a meandering...

"If you have no hope - Create!"

"I see a light shining - Alegria!"

Two nights ago (Aug 11) we were watching the closing ceremonies of
the Paris Olympics.  As the athletes walked into the stadium,
I tried to read what country they were from printed on their
clothing.  I could have sworn one said "Alegria."
And I said: "Alegria?  Where's that!?"
Later I read it again, it said "Algiers."

Something went off inside when I read it as Alegria.
That was a Cirque du Soleil artistic circus performance many
years ago that we watched, and one of the opening lines was:
"If you have no hope - Create! Alegria!" (which means Joy)

Two nights ago that remembrance sparked a light in me to
Create again...

I got out the card table and pulled the poster board and Craypas
oil sticks from beneath the bed, set up a space and began to
Create...  Resulting in the above picture - just movement and color.
That's all that was needed.

I felt the heaviness that I've been carrying lift; a release occurred 
as something within gave expression through color and movement...

I felt the stuck energy unlock.  Having been swallowed up by my
current life experience, I knew my energy was out of sync.

The act of creating heals, frees,
and ignites something within...

I thought: Maybe creating is a way through;
a reclaiming of myself; a realignment...

I'm sure most true artists know this...
I just had to experience it for myself;
to feel it...

And how awed I was to experience that
"The Divine" (however called) speaks
through ordinary means,
like watching TV :) not just in moments
of silent meditation...

Alegria!

Mystic Meandering
Aug 12, 2024

~

Photo: Funky Vortex Art
Aug 2024
Mystic Meandering

 

Plumb The Depths...

Do not be afraid to
plumb
the
depths
of 
your 
Being,
of

Truth;
to question
everything
you
have
learned

Take the journey deeply inward
to your beginnings - and endings;
to the Silent hum
in the Heart
of all Life
that sings,
and
see
for
your
self.

There are many caravans to follow,
those aspiring to "enlighten" or "awaken" you
with their words,
left like burning firewood to light your way,
along the road...

But only in Sacred Silence can the journey be made
to the Heart of Being;
to discover the depths of Being ~
of That which you are;
That which wants to 
*live*
within you...

Do not let fear stop your descent
into the Inner Vastness:
the deep Ocean within...

Be still,
and open...
Listening...

Follow the plumb line
of your breath,
past the Furies and the Sirens
into the soft ebullience
of Love
and quiet Joy
waiting for you,
like ethereal
liquid pools
of Light
drawing
you
in

Rest Here

In
the
depths
of
this
Alive
Silent
Spacious
Awareness

Listen to the endless
Rhythm already
holding
you
in the cradle
of
Peace

Feel
the
pervasive
contentment
of Life
Here
in
the
depths of
Sacred
Silence,
that animates
every cell,
every atom,
every sound,
every thought,

every feeling ~

until you *know*
THIS

*as*

yourself.

Simply Living...

Mystic Meandering
April 17, 2012

Vortex Art - Mystic Meandering
2010

 

The Days Are Round - Jean Giono

Days begin and end in the dead of night. They are not 
shaped long, in the manner of things which leads to ends -
arrow, road, a person's life on earth.  They are shaped round,
in the manner of eternal things eternal and stable...

Civilization tries to persuade us we are going towards 
something, a distant goal.  We have forgotten that our
only goal is to live, to live each and every day, and that if
we live each and every day, our true goal is achieved.

All civilized people see the day beginning at dawn or a
little after or a long time after or whatever time their work
begins; this they lengthen according to their work, during
what they call 'all day long'; and end it when they close
their eyes.  It is they who say the days are long.  On the
contrary, the days are round.

Jean Giono

with thanks to Love Is A Place

~

Vortex Art - Mystic Meandering

 

The Tao of Water - Rod MacIver

The highest motive in life is to be like water.
it fights nothing or no one.
It flows from and back to its source
and in the flowing smooths and wears
away all resistance.

Taoist Proverb

~

In paddling wild rivers, I learned that the power of the river
is immense, and our power insignificant.

The Tao tells us that the energies of the universe, driven by
the forces of yin and yang, are greater than we are.  And
much like the positive and negative energies of electricity,
without both, without the light and the dark, female and male,
neither could exist.  To survive long term as a species, we
must accommodate ourselves to those energy flows rather
than fight them.

In paddling a rapid, we seek to move with its flow, rather than
against it, to execute our strokes at points of maximum impact,
and to not use a hard stroke when a light stroke will do.  And
sometimes, when the water moves faster than we can think, to
execute our strokes with intuition.

Chang-tzu, a fourth century sage, wrote of an old man who
somehow survived a swim in a huge rapid.  Upon asking the
man how he survived, the man responded:

Plunging into the whirl, I come out of the swirl.  I accommodate
myself to the water, not the water to me.  And so I am able to
deal with it after this fashion....

I was born upon the land...and accommodated myself to dry land. 
That was my original condition.  Growing up with water, I
accommodate myself to the water.

Rod MacIver
Artist and Writer

Heron Dance

~

The settling of the mind, letting go of the turmoil,
is akin to the settling of muddy water.

Kuan-Tzo
645 BC

~

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

Tao Te Ching
Stephen Mitchell Translation

~

When confronted with rocks,
water seeks a way around.

Water gives way to obstacles
with deceptive humility,
for no power can prevent it
flowing its destined course
to the sea.

Tao Cheng of Nan Yeo
11th century Taoist Scholar

~

with thanks to Heron Dance

~

Photo Art - Mystic Meandering
 -Vortex Art

 

The Inner Sanctuary - Mirabai Starr

There is a secret place.
A radiant sanctuary...

This magnificent refuge is inside you.

Enter

Shatter the darkness that shrouds the doorway.

Be bold.  Be humble.

Put away the incense and forget the incantation
they taught you.  Ask no permission from the
authorities.

Slip away...

Close your eyes and follow your breath
to the still place that leads to the invisible path
that leads you home.

Listen...

Softly, the One you love is calling...

Listen...

At first you will only hear traces of his [her] Voice.
Love letters he [she] drops for you in hiding places -
in the sun dipping down below the horizon,
in the nameless sorrow that fills your heart when you
wake in the night and remember that the world has gone
to war and you are powerless to break up the fight.

Let the idle chatter between friends drop down to
what matters.

Listen...

his [her] Voice will come closer.
A whisper you're almost sure is meant for you
fading in and out of the cacophony of thoughts
clearer in the silent space between them.

Listen...

Be brave and walk through the country of your own
wild heart.
Be gentle and know that you know nothing.

Be still...

Listen...

Keep walking...

Crossing the moat between this world and that...

This is The Beloved reclining in the innermost chamber,
waiting for you...

The Beloved has chosen for his [her] dwelling place
the core of your own being because that is the single

most beautiful place in all creation.

Enter the center of your Soul...

Mirabai Starr

Excerpts from the Introduction to:

The Interior Castle
by St. Teresa of Avila

translation by Mirabai Starr

~

Vortex Art - Mystic Meandering
2012

 

The Journey of Divine Descent - a meandering...

I need to open to a different journey now,
to a Deeper Reality within...

It is a journey of Divine Descent into the deepest interiors of Myself,
into the interiority of the Soul, or Essence of Who I am...

It's a spiraling down, not into darkness necessarily, but to a
 Deeper Reality of Being, at least that's how it feels, although
 I'm sure I will encounter darkness along the way - I already have.
But it's not about going into the darkness, unless encountered:
The shadowlands of old traumas, old wounds, etc.,
even what are considered the dark emotions. 
 But in some ways it's a descent into the 

interior light - the Illumination of the Soul from within.

It's not an ascendant path, like I've been on, or a transcendent
"higher" path, but a descendant journey to the Interior Core of
Myself, my Essence, my Being - the unknown...

The key is just to let it happen.

All I can say is YES!

Mystic Meandering
May 2, 2024

~

Vortex Art
2011

 

The Ancestors' Unlived Life - Matt Licata

Deep in the somatic unconscious, the ancestors continue to live
within us, emerging-into-now by way of their sensitivities and
gifts, as well as through the shards of their unlived lives.

Their lost joy, broken dreams, and unfulfilled creativity have a
way of taking up residency in our cell tissue, subtle bodies, and
in our bellies and hearts.

As we enter into the mandala of descent - downward into body,
mud, roots and Earth - these ones begin to appear: as symbol,
image, feeling and synchronicity.  They have a way of shifting
shapes in order to find us, through color, tree, water, and sound.

What is that we're carrying on their behalf?  What dreams remain
undreamed and unmanifested for them?  What are their deepest
longings?  What secrets have they never been able to share?

What keeps them awake at night?  What brings them alive and
unleashes their creativity and unique essence?  What visions are
not permitted to take form, of the divine within and of the divine
world?

What were they required to disown in order to fit in to a place that
had lost its sensitivity and soul?  What became buried in the
shadows?  What story were they unable to tell, what feelings were
they unable to feel?

In what way are we being asked to open a portal into re-emergence,
re-enchantment, and revisioning?

As we open to receive this offering, an inner sanctuary forms to
illuminate and transmute this transgenerational soul-material.  Inside
that structure, the seemingly solid lines between past, present and
future begin to fall away.

Being "in the present moment" we share this moment with the
ancestral ones and the spirits of the Earth who are with us.

In this way, past, present, and future co-emerge and interpenetrate,
opening a diamond-like passageway into the mysteries of self 
and other, being and becoming, and a new alchemy of
separation and union.

The individual self is an emanation, a manifestation, of the Totality,
a unified expression of the clear-light nature.  Unique and 
differentiated, while at the same time non-separate and one.

Matt Licata

~

Vortex Art
Mystic Meandering
Feb. 2024

 

The Mysterious Creative Unknown - a meandering...

Recently I watched a series called "Creative Energy Levels on
video by Donna Iona Drozda - artist/writer, and fellow blogger.
I watched the Intro and "0" (zero) videos, (there are 9 levels).
During the "0" video she talked of the zero being a symbol of
wholeness.  That was my Aha moment, and wrote in my journal -
"I need to come back to wholeness, come back to my Authentic
Being-Self!  My Natural State of Being.  I need to reclaim my
wholeness again.  So I started engaging in creating vortexes
with CrayPas oils.

~

Twenty years ago I worked with an artist/"spiritual teacher"
of the Kashmir Shaivism tradition who had a studio called:
"Art Iza Way."  He used creativity/art as a way of remembering
your True Self.  Now, I'm not an "artist", but I started drawing/
painting "vortexes" (top down) back then on pieces of poster
board with CrayPas oil sticks.  During sessions he would show
me how oftentimes figures would unexpectedly emerge in and
through the"art", depending on how you *looked* at it -
The Mysterious Creative Unknown.

He showed me how to *look* at art (life) from different angles,
turning it, or looking sideways at it, etc., and see what revealed
itself.  Interestingly my earlier vortexes didn't reveal anything
"mystical" :)  He was trying to show me through art, that
everything is a matter of perspective, which of course depends
on how you *see*, and from *where* you see. He would say:
"life is a play of perspectives."

He has since moved his studio, and calls it "Self Discovery Studio,"
and no longer offers "art" as part of his sessions, but uses
different styles of Self-inquiry through relaxed conversation, as
well as meditation, and sometimes chanting.

~

One night after listening to the "0" video in the Creative Energy
Levels series with Donna Iona Drozda, I decided I wanted to
revive doing vortexes.  So pulled some poster board from under
the bed, cut out an 11x11 piece, got the CrayPas oil sticks, picked 
the colors I was drawn to (usually 2 complimentary colors), used a
large piece of cardboard, which just happened to under the bed as
well, and just started rubbing the oil sticks in circles, one by one,
on a piece of poster board.  I worked on the floor on the piece of
cardboard.  It was 11:30pm.

It was exhilarating and calming at the same time - freeing, just going
round and round, creating circles with my fingers and thumb.  Then
I started blending the oils on the poster board with fingers and thumb,

also going in a circular motion.  The corrugated cardboard made
imprints as well, as I worked the oils together.

Working in this way there really was no intention.  There was no
expectation of what it will look like, other than a vortex, but
sometimes it surprised me.  It is the Creative Unknown that sometimes
emerges.  In the photo above a "figure" emerged.  It appeared to be a
hooded figure at first, then it seemed to be a cap with possibly a long
beard. I clearly saw a face with two eyes looking out at me.  I gasped,
and was excited.  I get excited when there is movement from
within; when "The Mystery" reveals Itself in some way, whether
through art, poems, or life itself...

The "far away" view here in the photo gives the overall look of this
mysterious figure.  In closer views the figure got lost, blended back
into the vortex.  It is seen better in person than what the camera can
capture, and you may not see anything at all, or you may see
something different.

It'z magical :)

Creativity can bring a new sense of wholeness and balance back into
life again;  and can "reconnect" me with my "Inner Life" - my Inner
Beingness - waiting to reveal Itself...

Mystic Meandering
Feb. 11, 2024

~

Art - Mystic Meandering
Vortex Art
Red Vortex with Figure
Feb 2024

 

The Creative Drive - Galway Kinnell

One can have a lot of time and yet feel one has very little.
A person who wants an inner life needs what you might call
"open" time - time that hasn't already been filled before one
enters it with minor concerns, little duties.  The more
conscientious a person is, the more easily small things force
themselves into the consciousness.  Precisely because they are
so small one knows one can easily take care of them.  I keep
finding in my pockets old lists of errands that in hindsight are
incredibly trivial.  It's the fact that the items are crossed off
that 's so pathetic - the fact that I actually worried about these
tasks and actually did them.  Tillie Olson has written an essay
on the penalties of postponing serious work for the sake of
things of this kind.  It's a fine essay.  She advocates going
straight for the real work and to hell with everything else.
And she's right.  The creative drive withers away otherwise.

I produce most and write best when I have no schedule at all,
when I'm able to wander where whim carries me - both physically,
through a city or a countryside, and mentally, in reading, talking,
scribbling, thinking, whatever.  Poems don't come to me often
when solicited.

Galway Kinnell

- from an interview published in the book Walking Down the
Stairs.

Downtime is the basis of creative time.  It is important that that
time not be filled with trivial things --  errands, doing the
dishes -- but rather time to day dream, [to spend time in
"The Silence"], to meander through the backwoods, to wander
around town, notebook in hand, just in case something bubbles up.

Rod MacIver
Heron Dance

~

Art - Mystic Meandering

Vortex Art 2024

Water Whirlpool
on black paper

 

Inner World - John O'Donohue

It is strange to be here.  The Mystery never leaves you alone.
Behind your image, below you words, above your thoughts, the
silence of another world waits.  A world lives within you.  No
one else can bring you news of this inner world.  Through our
voices, we bring out sound from the mountain beneath our
soul.  These sounds are words.  There are so many talking all
the time, loudly, quietly, in rooms, on streets, on TV, on radio,
in the paper, in books.  The noise of words keeps what we call
the world there for us.  We take each other's sounds and make
patterns and predictions, benedictions, and blasphemies.  Each
day, our tribe of language holds what we call the 'world' together.
Yet the uttering of the world reveals how each of us relentlessly
creates.  Everyone is an artist.  Each person brings out sound
out of silence and coaxes the invisible to become visible.

Humans are new here.  Above us, the galaxies dance out toward
infinity. Under our feet is the ancient earth.  We are beautifully
molded from this clay.  Yet the smallest stone is millions of years
older than us. .....the silent universe seeks echo.

An unknown world aspires towards reflection.  Words are oblique
mirrors which hold your thought.  You gaze into these word mirrors
and catch glimpses of meaning, belonging shelter.  Behind their
bright surfaces is the dark and the silence.  Words are like the god
Janus, they face inwards and outwards at once.

If we become addicted to the external our interiority will haunt
us.  We will become hungry with a hunger no image, person or
deed can still.  To be wholesome, we must remain truthful to our
vulnerable complexity.  In order to keep our balance, we need
to hold the interior and exterior, visible and invisible, known 
and unknown, temporal and eternal, ancient and new together.
No one else can undertake this task for you.  You are the one
and only threshold of your inner world.  This wholesomeness
is holiness.  To be holy is natural; to befriend the worlds that
come to balance in you.

Behind the facade of image and distraction, each person is an
artist in this primal and inescapable sense.  Each one of us is
doomed and privileged to be an inner artist who carries and
shapes a unique world.

Human presence is a creative and turbulent sacrament, a 
visible sign of invisible grace.

John O'Donohue

from Anam Cara

With thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - Vortex Art
Mystic Meandering

2011

 

Resurrected...

 Breaking free of concepts, constructs, beliefs and stories
that have kept me entombed...

I rise...

Waking up to my "True Nature"

a living expression of "The Sacred" within me...

I rise...

Untangling the tattered threads of old roles, old crafted identities
worn to make me feel safe and important...

I rise...

Letting go of frayed "lifelines" that kept
me tethered to the shore of familiarity and conformity...

I rise...

Now not needing to be other than who I Am
my natural, playful, creative, expressive Aliveness...

I rise...

Mystic Meandering

April 3, 2021

~

Photo: Vortex Art 2010 - Mystic Meandering
done with fingers and Craypas oils

The Code of Authentic Living - Joan C. King

Physics teaches us that, at its essence, everything is energy.
We are beings of energy.  A mysterious life force, made up of
the Source Energy that reverberates within each molecule is
in every cell of the body.

Source Energy animates every living being and [is] eternally
creative, ever seeking new dimensions, relentlessly pursuing
new expressions...

Source Energy is our link to the creative energies of the
Universe.  We thrive when our actions and interactions are
aligned with the energy that animates and sustains our cells.

Out of the Source Energy of the Void, the energy that powers all
creation, the energy that resonates within our cells, something
new is being born at every transition in life...  A new reality is
unfolding from the field of possibility.  At moments of transition,
the vortex of creative energy that is our life force is activated.
Its waves carry the blueprint that informs every new aspect of
our lives.  If we surrender to the vortex of energy Cellular Wisdom
will direct us on a path that leads to emerging new dimensions of
our lives...

We cannot find this energy in our minds, because our thoughts
are not our actual experience.

Any journey within leads, paradoxically, to heightened awareness
of the expansive energy which permeates all life.  The energy
that we encounter when we look inside ourselves is the same
energy that guides the movement of the heavenly spheres - the
stars, galaxies, universes.  Each living being has a characteristic
profile of energy frequencies expressed within his or her body, but
our spirits are not confined by physical limits.  Our individual
energies pulse in and out of the sea of all energy...  When we tap
into that confluence of energy we arise renewed, knowing that
the energies in our bodies are moving within the harmonies of
vast cosmic music.  There's nothing that you have to do to earn
the presence of Cellular Wisdom [i.e. Source Energy], for it is
nothing less than the essence of who you are.

Joan C. King
From - The Code of Authentic Living

~

There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for
the sound of the genuine in yourself.  It is the only true guide
you will ever have.  And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your
life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.

Howard Thurman

~

Photo - Vortex Art
Mystic Meandering
2012

Wild Portals of Unknowing - Fred LaMotte

"God leads every soul by a separate path." - John of the Cross

I cannot possibly know what is most important; that which will
transform me.  If I already know what it is I will never be free,
because I have packaged "liberation" as knowledge, in the tight
wrapper of a concept.  This means that spiritual transformation
can never become a program, a technique, or a course that I take.

The moments that liberate me are wild portals of unknowing,
when the blue sky of wonder outshines any cloud it contains;
vast emptiness shifts into the foreground; techniques, traditions,
concepts cultivated in the past, dissolve...

[.....]

The best meditation evaporates into amazement.  The best mantra
melts into silence.  The best guru dances in the mist at the edge of
a meadow, and disappears into your longing heart, where true path
has no beginning....

No, I cannot possibly tell what is most important - how a blue
moth disguises herself in a petal of lupine, why cascade lilies
frolic in a rainy mountain meadow, what the hermit thrush means
to silence.  I cannot know when the golden sun will burst my chest
wide open, turning the small dark chamber of self-doubt into a
boundless empyrean.

Fred LaMotte

Uradiance

~

Photo - Vortex Art
2011

Fantasia of Existence...

Sinking deeper into the calming comfort
of the rich darkness of the universe within;
floating into the depths of the inner Cosmos,
lanterns of light appear suspended in the dark;
stars - at the interior frontiers of beginnings,
before time, before relative reality, before "I" began,
in the space of Pure Silence...

Where the unmanifest spirals ItSelf into form;
into galaxies of molten stardust
rotating ever so slowly through the universe;
that also somehow became "me"!
For no reason - except
the pure pleasure of Being,
the pure pleasure of existing.

This fantasia of Existence,
fancied to be composed of
stardust and galaxies of liquid light
dancing through the universe -
inhabits this body...

Light and matter
vibrating together, in resonance,
like a tuning fork - enlivening this body,
all bodies, everywhere.

A symphony of Wonderment...

Mystic Meandering
Oct. 27, 2017

~

If a child is to keep his inborn sense of wonder
he needs the companionship of at least one adult
who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy,
excitement, and mystery of the world
we live in...

Rachel Carson

from a journal book called
Live In Wonder
by Eric Saperston

~

Photo - Vortex Art
craypas oils, done with fingers
2011

Want Only What Is True - Jennifer Welwood & Licata

There will always be voices that promise you greatness and glory;
They call out from the worldly marketplace;
They call out from the spiritual marketplace;
They call out from the bigger-better-more marketplace.

Do not buy their false promises, or purchase their ephemeral wares;
What fulfills for a moment is not worth the price of your soul.
There are heights that will lift you,
 but not when you try to ascend them;
There are powers that will fill you,
 but not when you make them your own.
There are treasures, and there are imitations of treasures.
If you have lost your true gold, at least turn away from the glitter.

Want only what is true.
This will lead you to the well of your deepest sorrows.
Follow that passageway, all the way down;
Become the dark emptiness of your core.
Be still.  Don't measure the waiting.
Be still.  Let the waiting become a fire.
Be still.  Let the fire show you its secret heart;
A strand of clear light running through you.
Gather yourself there, and the luminous universe opens.
In the vast expanse, fathomless, infinite ocean of light,
lose yourself, and find yourself, and become what you already are.

Jennifer Welwood
"Renunciation"

~

We can descend into the fire of direct experience of our feelings.
It is within the very core of this holy fire, in the alchemical crucible
of the body where the naked, groundless somatic territory of
illumination occurs, where healing emerges, and a new pathway
of love, care and compassion unfolds and illuminates within you.

Matt Licata

~

Photo - Woman Whirling in the Fire
(looking from overhead)
Vortex Art with Craypas oils

Confusion - Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

“There is no end to this dynamic mystical journey

that leads to the beyond…

The wayfarer has to learn to leave behind the old understanding
and allow what is new to become known…

The journey Home has another dimension,
a deeper direction.
I have had to face the illusion of my own journey,
how I was caught in certain convictions,
especially spiritual convictions.

Now I sense something else,
a swirling quality
that carries
confusion,
chaos,
and
freedom

Always the journey, [&] the path changes.
Always we are thrown into something
beyond what we might have expected.

Now I sense something else,
something that was always at the borders
of consciousness…
and yet avoided in its intensity.
A quality of chaos envelopes me from within…
the chaos of life
and what is beyond life…

Where does the path go,
what strange byways does it follow?
Always we look for a sense of direction.
Are we going Home?

Is this the right path?
Are we in tune?

But the path is much deeper
and more ancient than any sense of direction.
It belongs to the timeless inner dimension…

~

There is a choice…
We can follow the ego
with all its subtleties of
self-defense.

We can walk away from our heart’s call…
And so the path dissolves,
its urgency hidden,
its demand neglected….

But how can the path ever be lost?

The path is a strange creature,
full of the unexpected,
born from the unexpected,
attempting to take us into the
unknown,
into the unknowable.

And always we want the security
of knowing,
and so our fear of the dark
betrays us...

What is this path,
this empty way?

There is a heartache,
a call,
and a sigh that comes from
the depth.

These are the signs,
but where do they lead?

Why do we expect something
tangible…?

Why do we look for
reassurance
when we stand at the water’s edge?

Follow your heart’s call – but where?

Deep within we sense the terror of an endless night
and will make sure that our path skirts around this
desolate place.
We may hear the phrase
”to die before you die,”
but what do we know of this ultimate desolation?

The path will take us to the water’s edge,
and may even provide us with the illusion
of a boat, with the fantasy of a further shore,
but really these are just mind games and
psychological gimmicks.
There is no spiritual board game,
no path to enlightenment,
because “The Beloved”
comes “like a thief in the night”…

~

Why do we look for answers?
Why do we try to dress with the right clothes
for the journey, the correct spiritual attitude,
when we need to be unprotected?

So many stories have been told,
books written, pictures painted,
and always we skirt around the edge,
frightened of facing the depth
of our longing….

Sorrow, endless sorrow is what we are given to work with,
to open us, to take us, to silence us…
This endless sorrow has oceans of joy
hidden within it, the joy that is life itself,
the hidden face of creation.

This joy is not a flimsy alternative to life,
not life skating on the surface,
but the intensity of emptiness
pouring into form,
“The Beloved”
manifesting.

Hungry for what is Real,
we know neither our self
nor the chaos that awaits us.
We like to think we are spiritual seekers,
lovers, wayfarers…

But what is there to name?

Those who remain behind carry names;
they carry banners of their own inner development,
their spiritual or worldly success.
They know who they are, and are
resplendit in their own recognition.

The lost are not like this;

all they have known is emptiness
and a hunger.

Maybe they have had experiences,
glimpses of the beyond.
But the real journey is beyond
any such knowing,
is too simple to be explained,

too ordinary to be noticed,
and far too intense to be talked about.

There are things that can never be said,
perhaps because they are too intimate,
too painful, too bewildering, or just
unspeakable…

It is not someone else’s experience,
but a vortex of undoing
into which I am drawn
or thrown.”

Excerpts from: Fragments of a Love Story

Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee
Sufi Mystic



Please Note: I have taken excerpts from various pages
in the book, putting them together in the form of this prose poem.


Photo: Vortex Art