We Grow Up - Rainer Maria Rilke

We say release, and radiance, and roses,
and echo upon everything that's known;
and yet, behind the world our names enclose is
the Nameless: our true archetype and home.

The sun seems male, and earth is like a woman,
the field is humble, and the forest proud;
but over everything we say, inhuman,
moves the forever-undetermined god.

We grow up; but the world remains a child.

Star and flower, in silence, watch us go.
And sometimes we appear to be the final
exam they must succeed on.  And they do.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Stephen Mitchel version

~

Our life is an apprenticeship to the truth, 
that around every circle another can be drawn;
that there is no end in nature, bur every end is a
beginning; that there is always another dawn risen
on mid-noon, and under every deep a lower deep opens.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
from Essays: First Series (1841)

_

Photo from the Internet
Color digitally inverted

 

The Days Are Round - Jean Giono

Days begin and end in the dead of night. They are not 
shaped long, in the manner of things which leads to ends -
arrow, road, a person's life on earth.  They are shaped round,
in the manner of eternal things eternal and stable...

Civilization tries to persuade us we are going towards 
something, a distant goal.  We have forgotten that our
only goal is to live, to live each and every day, and that if
we live each and every day, our true goal is achieved.

All civilized people see the day beginning at dawn or a
little after or a long time after or whatever time their work
begins; this they lengthen according to their work, during
what they call 'all day long'; and end it when they close
their eyes.  It is they who say the days are long.  On the
contrary, the days are round.

Jean Giono

with thanks to Love Is A Place

~

Vortex Art - Mystic Meandering

 

The Wheel of Time - Einstein & Ostaseski

We trust that time is linear.
That it proceeds eternally, uniformly,
Into Infinity.

But the distinction between
past, present and future is
nothing but an illusion.

Yesterday, today and tomorrow
are not consecutive, they are connected
in a never-ending circle.

Albert Einstein

~

Like a confluence of great rivers,
our lives are a series of different moments, joining
together to give the impression of one continuous flow.
We move from cause and effect, event to event, one point
to another - which gives an outward impression that our
lives are one continuous, unified movement.
In reality, they are not.

Each moment is born and dies.  And in a very real way we
are born and die with it.  Creation and destruction are two
sides of the same coin.

Frank Ostaseski
The Five Invitations

~

Photo - Mom's Mandala
a mandala that she colored in
several months before she died in March 2019.

 

Embrace the Losses - John O'Donohue

May you know that absence is alive with hidden presence,
that nothing is ever lost or forgotten.
May the absences in your life grow full of eternal echo.

May you sense around you the secret Elsewhere,
where the presences that have left you dwell..
May you be generous in your embrace of loss.
May the sore well of grief turn into a seamless flow
of presence.

May you be embraced by God in whom dawn and
twilight are one - within the Great Belonging.

John O'Donohue
from: To Bless the Space Between Us

Original title: A Blessing for Absence

~

In memory of my mother
who passed from this life into
the "secret Elsewhere"
one year ago today...

~

And this goes out to all
who have experienced loss
around the world in our ongoing
coronavirus crisis...

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
"Mom's last wave"

The Blessing of The Deer - Jane Hirshfield

As the house of a person
in age sometimes grows cluttered
with what is
too loved or too heavy to part with,
the heart may grow cluttered.

And still the house will be emptied,
and still the heart.

As the thoughts of a person
in age sometimes grow sparer,
like a great cleanness come into a room,
the soul may grow sparer;
one sparrow song carves it completely.
And still the room is full,
and still the heart.

Empty and filled,
like the curling half-light of morning,
in which everything is still possible...

Filled and empty,
like the curling half-light of evening,
in which everything now is finished...

Beloved, what can be, what was,
will be taken away from us.

I have disappointed.
I am sorry.  I knew no better.

[.....]

This morning, out the window,
the deer stood like a blessing, then vanished.

Jane Hirshfield
Original title: "Standing Deer"
from The Lives of the Heart

Thanks to - The Beauty We Love

Trajectory of Life - Richard Wehrman

He was surprised
to see the gray clouds,
for the sunrise was clear
with blue sky, and he
assumed, as he always had,
that the sky moved
as the sun moved, east
to west, yet here the clouds
came, traveling west to
east, and he thought of
the trajectory he imagined
his life took, of birth
to death, infancy to old age,
and he wondered if he
had missed something,
if the winds moved
differently than he supposed,
if death also traveled
toward life, if there were
more currents than he
could imagine; and if
imagining itself, setting
a distinct course, one he
planned in advance, kept
him from seeing, if he
were at this moment
actually growing younger,
at the same time he grew
older; if he was in fact
moving in ways he could
barely sense, into another
life, into other worlds.

Richard Wehrman
From: Being Here
original title: Traveling

I learn by going where I have to go - Roethke

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.

I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling.  What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground!  I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady.  I should know.
What falls away is always.  And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

Theodore Roethke

Original title: "The Waking"

~

It is Grace taking you where you must go...
It is Grace giving you what you need...
Grace is a gift...

Papaji

~

Note:  In one analysis of Roethke's poem,
it suggests another version,
changing the repetitive line:
"I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow", to
"I live to die, and take my living slow..."
It is ultimately a poem of life and death,
while embracing the totality of life experience
while we are here...

I rather like that interpretation...

~

photo: me on path
color digitally inverted

The Days are Round - Jean Giono

Days begin and end in the dead of night.
They are not shaped long, in the manner of things which
lead to ends - arrow, road, a person's life...
They are shaped round, in the manner of eternal things...

Civilization tried to persuade us we are going towards something,
a distant goal.  We have forgotten that our only goal is to live,
to live each and every day, and that if we live each and every day,
our true goal is achieved.

All civilized people see the day beginning at dawn or a little after,
or a long time after or whatever time their work begins;
this they lengthen according to their work,
during what they call "all day long;" and end it
when they close their eyes.
It is they who say the days are long.

On the contrary, the days are round.

Jean Giono
Rondeur Des Jours
French Novelist

~

For Summer Solstice and the Natural Cycles of Life

~

Photo taken by my brother somewhere in New Hampshire

The Return Journey - In Memoriam...

My Dad
birthed into form - April 23, 1924
returned to formlessness - Nov. 4, 1985

My Beloved Maternal Grandmother
birthed into form - April 30, 1905
returned to formlessness - Nov. 2, 1998

The Journey of Return

By Dorothy Hunt

When The Beloved wants to take you Home,
extend  your hand to the welcoming
even though your body may be trembling
and your mind may want to flee;
even though those around you grieve,
and you yourself have mourned, even before they,
the changing form of your body.
Tears are not the final truth
though they will come and go
like stars that need a dark sky to be seen.

Death is not a failure of a mind
that is not strong enough,
or positive enough, or pure enough.
Those who hold such views are simply
masking fear with ideas of being in control.
We are being lived by the Creator of this life.
Do you really think a finite mind can change
the mind of God?  Jesus tried and failed.
”Please take this cup from me!” He begged,
as we all do in the midst of anguish.

But anguish, fear, or deepest grief
cannot alter Who you really are.
The beautiful Spirit that extended Itself
in space and time, and called Itself by your name,
is simply ready to return, unencumbered by a body,
to Its vast and spacious Unborn Self,
that kisses you at birth,
and holds your hand in death,
and never for a moment
forgets you are Itself.

The mind imagines you are leaving,
but where could you truly go?
You are Life Itself!  Unceasingly flowing,
moment to moment unfolding Yourself.
A body is born; a body dies; but you do not.
Deep within your heart, you know this Truth.
Rest there…
Rest in the knowing that opens your Heart
to all that IS,
that loves Itself in all that comes
and returns Itself in all that goes.

Dorothy Hunt

Zen Buddhist

Unbreakable Life...

“Everything is a gift on this unbreakable path
that you call your life -
the laughter,
the tears,
the times of great
sorrow,
the experience of

 profound
loss,
the pain,
the confusion,
the times you
believe
you’ll never make it,
even the overwhelming

heartbreak of love -
even if you forget that,
or cannot see that,
or lose faith.

But even the loss
of faith
in the show [life]
is part of the show.

Everything happens
for your awakening,
for your growth,
for your inspiration,
for your exploration -
even if you forget that
and fall
into
distraction
and
despair.

So you are always
exactly
where you
need
to
be

Life can be trusted absolutely,
even when trust seems
a million light-years away,
and life cannot go ‘wrong’,
for all is Life…

Understand this,
know it in your heart.
It is profoundly simple,
as simple as breathing,
as natural as gazing
up at the stars at night
and falling
into
silent
wonder.

The Universe is more beautiful
than you could
ever imagine.”

Jeff Foster

“God hugs you.
You are encircled by the arms
of The Mystery.”

Hildegard of Bingen

Transitions...

We are in the season of transition, both seasonally and personally.  My husband starts a new job on Monday, after 8 months of no work.  We are preparing for the adjustment to a new rhythm of life again, tentatively breathing a sigh of relief.  We’ve been through this several times in the last 10 years – these seemingly endless endings and beginnings, beginnings and endings - endless transitions, always “inbetween.”  We thought we’d be used to it by now, but each time it’s an adjustment after long periods of no work and the intensity of continuously trying to find work in a deteriorating economy – along with the antics of politics that take precedence over the “common wealth.” J But we won’t go there…

It was really sudden how it all unfolded – the job that is – not the decline of government. J  He received a phone call at 8pm on Thursday night from a recruiter for a company that had seen his resume and was interested in him - could he interview the next day...  There was literally no time to prepare!  He had a terrible head cold – but…   The interview was scheduled for Noon on Friday.  He was notified less than two hours later that he had gotten the job and would be starting on Monday! Wow!  Immediate transition!  We’re both still a little numb.

It is a 3 month contract-to-hire job.  We’re hoping for the “hire” part J…    This is how a lot of companies are employing their workers now - contract jobs through recruiters. That way they don’t have to provide healthcare or other benefits, or give a reason to let you go at the end of the contract period if it doesn’t work out for *them.*   Each time we go through this it is an adjustment – either beginning or ending – trying to find a new rhythm with life – and catching up financially…  There *is* no “retirement” on the horizon – only the continuous cycles of life being lived, season to season…  Cue Lion King music… J  Although this has been a “radical shift” in only a matter of days, B feels it will be a seamless flow ~ that we are always in the ongoing stream of new beginnings.  Just call him Rafiki – the wise monkey. J

And I too seamlessly transitioned this weekend into my 64^th season of life; the timeless, unborn Self moving through time.   The conceptual mind is relieved –  not that I'm 64 - about the job, yet still hoping it will go longer than 3 months.  The mind can get really preoccupied with uncertainty when in perceived “survival mode” J - challenging me to stay open to the larger Truth of Existence…  I told my husband several weeks ago, after so long without work, that the best birthday present would be for him to have a job by my birthday.  It was said off-handedly.  Talk about down to the wire!  I’m still gobsmacked that it all unfolded this way!   Maybe the Universe really does listen… J lol

So we press on into the unknown, cautiously embracing life that is turning once again, providing yet another new beginning and opportunities for expanded awareness of the Mystery of Being - knowing deep in our Being that all is infinitely well...

WooHoo! J

"Canyon Spirits" - The Evolution of a Painting...

I started this painting nearly a year ago in a moment of frustration, thus the red color and hash marks all over the place, painting in circles.  I am an intuitive painter, so I do not have an “intention” for the painting when I start.  I like to just see what evolves and what emerges out of it… Painting this way is a “practice” in letting go, of not having expectations – hopefully J - in not being “in control” of where it goes; like life actually – not being “in control” of life, but allowing oneself to be open and vulnerable to how it unfolds.  It’s very challenging actually to live that way – as well as to paint that way…  There can be lots of frustration…  It originaly looked like this (below) and sat like this on the easel for 7-8 months.

Every time I looked at it I kept seeing the face of a Tiger, and wondered how I could make it *look* like a Tiger, not having the trained artistic experience or skill to do that.  (The Tiger is no longer apparent, as other things emerged.)  When I started painting again in May/June I was still trying to figure out how to make it look like the Tiger that I saw, thus the single painted in eye, as that is what my mind saw. 

And then a “voice” said: keep looking, look deeper.  I wasn’t hearing things, it was the voice of my husband actually, as I discussed my frustration with not being able to create what I saw in my head.  He said – don’t stay fixated on your idea of what it is supposed to look like, but keep looking and see what else is there.  Something we need to do in life as well – look deeper, beyond the surface, and see what is really there.  So I kept looking.  And suddenly *many* different faces started emerging!  (see close-up below). Initially I saw what looked like the outline of a man’s face in a window with closed eyes, and nose, (near the middle), blended into another partial face slightly under the first one.  A woman’s silhouette in a window appeared on the right, up against what appeared to be two back to back “caricature” profiles, with a flat hat.  And then an owl appeared on the far left, and blended into what looked like a coyote face with mouth open, which blended in with the man’s face, and so on…  There’s even a little fox face tucked in there somewhere… And some teepees too :)

 The whole painting took on a different look, a different feel.  It had transformed itself.  It became a terracotta desert canyon against a night sky – and another realm beyond.  Totally unintentional…  Amazing. 

In the lower right hand corner there appeared to be a grouping of hash marks standing around what appeared to be the glow of a hidden fire…  To me they were Native peoples standing around a fire as smoke rose into the canyon and beyond, where a Raven glides through firey skies…

In the lower left hand corner there was the clear outline of yet another fire, with two “figures” nearby.

And so goes the story and evolution of a painting that took on a life of its own, inviting me to look more deeply… Like life…

Sacred Circles - Mandala Art

This is my new creative endeavor – creating and painting mandalas - also known as “sacred circles,” or Yantras, using sacred geometry, as taught by Guada in a Free Class at Guada’s Circle.

In a recent previous post – Focus As A Gateway – I was explaining how I felt a need for focus and balance as a way to bring the mind to a place of stillness.  Creating and painting this mandala gave me that focus and balance, and an inner meditative Stillness of Being.  I’m hooked! :)

Geometric mandalas are a sacred anciet art based on the language of patterns, like an underlying cosmic blueprint, an art form of the cosmos, revealing that our existence is inseparably and inherently one with the matrix of the Infinite – an inseparable, *inherent* union;  the circle being the symbol of this wholeness, or Oneness.  My limited understanding is that this oneness with the Divine, the interconnectedness of matter and spirit, is symbolized in the space where two circles cross each other forming what is called a Vesica Piscis – symbolically where Divine Consciousness and Human Consciousness are One; reminding me as I make the mandala that the Sacred is intimately present within – is both Here and Everywhere in the Universe simultaneously - meaning everything is sacred.

The seed of life at the center of many mandalas represents the heart of Existence itself, expanding into form; a symbol of sacred propagation of Life ItSelf; the Vesica Piscis symbolizing the Womb of the Universe from which all life arises.  Of course not all mandalas start with the seed of life pattern; but are obviously just as sacred, using other sacred symbols, such as the sanskrit OM(AUM) symbol at the center.   Buddhists and Hindus have used sacred geometric mandalas as symbols of the interconnectedness of the workings of the cosmos and meditative aids – or Yantras.  The Buddhists are also well known for their incredible sand mandalas that are “destroyed” after being meticulously created by monks over days and days as a symbol of the impermanence of life, and non-attachment.

I love creating mandalas as an art form; the creative design using the precision of sacred geometric patterns, and the detail of painting them in; the focus in the creating of it, and the balance that emerges in the design.  Just like the “spiritual path” – a combination of focus/practice, balance/equanimity, and the meditative Silence of just Being.  In most of my art experience I seem to work in circular fashion naturally, either circles, spirals or vortexes, as if it is primordial. See Something About Circles for an explanation and a look at my early Vortex art.

This is the basic seed of life pattern made with a compass:

See the Vesica Piscis in each intersection of a circle

From this template you can create a different design by erasing lines and adding other lines to make different shapes and designs.  The possiblilities are infinite. :)  In the mandala that I created, I added straight lines and a star pattern emerged, so I just went with it, making it a focal point; erasing parts of the outer circular lines around it, except the ones surrounding each point of the star.  I also created a wave line through each petal of the seed of life at the center, giving it a more fluid look.

I darkened this so you could see the design better

I then outlined each petal, and started filling in on one side with a water color pencil, which turns into water color paint when water is applied with a brush!  Quite amazing actually.  I like the effect in the purple star points.  They look like amethyst crystals with varieties of shading and light…

Not quite complete?

I contemplated filling the rest of the circle in with more color, but intuitively it felt complete.  Part of the process is listening intuitively to how the “painting” expresses itself, how it speaks to you, as in any artistic process….

Be sure to check out Stacy Wills’ mandala creations at A Magic Mom and Her Mandalas.  Some of them look like stanined glass windows!    Be sure to scroll down to see a variety of her mandalas using geometric design patterns.  She has recently begun using a different creative style and technology to create a more fluid affect.  

~*~

“In reality only the Ultimate (Infinite) is…
the rest is a matter of name and form.”

Nisargardatta

Forgotten Joy

Yesterday morning I awoke with the usual contraction in the pit of my stomach – my habitual response to life these days, as a result of the *story* I keep creating in my head about what is happening. Then I consciously brought my awareness to the space of Awareness, as I breathed into the contraction, meeting it, while at the same time laying back into the inner felt sense of Being – aware, once again, that it was my thoughts that were churning my stomach into a large knotted ball…

After several minutes, still aware of the knot, I arose and went through my usual morning routine and checked emails before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. I receive the frequent mailings from Non-Duality Highlights which have various quotes and excerpts from various “non-duality” teachers. The first two entries were about Fear and Anxiety, my life long companions. Interesting, but the words didn’t particularly speak to me, so I kept reading down and came to the last entry, which was a link to a YouTube video entitled: “Where the hell is Matt?” I was curious so I clicked on the link.

Now you may have already heard about this guy who’s going all over the world for the purpose of dancing in every city that he goes to – why, I don’t know, although I did recently see a program about him. So as soon as the video started playing I recognized who this was. But I wasn’t prepared for my reaction. For some reason it touched me as I sat watching, amused, while he danced by himself in streets, and deserts, and flower fields. As the video musically transitioned from scene to scene he was eventually joined by crowds of people, all dancing their funny little dances – smiling, happy, laughing, joyful. My heart began to smile and my eyes began to well up at the sight of people joyfully dancing with him all over the world: Children and adults in back streets and on beaches, on mountain cliffs and bridges, in sun and rain – expressing pure joy. As the tears began to fill my eyes, the simple presence of Joy began to fill my heart and it surprised me. It was a forgotten joy. The knot in my stomach began to dissolve and my heart began to lighten. Amazing. I didn’t have to work on unraveling it. It unwound itself while I watched pure joy playing out on the computer screen.

In a 4+ minute video I *felt* what is underneath all the fixations and fears, the rapids and turbulence that I’ve been experiencing lately: the Joy of our True Nature. It was waiting right there. You can call it Pure Consciousness, Compassion, Awareness, Happiness, Contentment, or whatever you name it – it’s the same energy that underlies everything we experience – even if we can’t feel it at the time. It’s Being being Joy!

This one man on a mission to dance in cities around the world, for whatever reason, unknowingly lit up my heart with a remembrance of Forgotten Joy that has been hiding underneath the stories of the fearful rapids of living, which now don’t seem so frightening. As Pema Chodron says – all life is workable. Who knows, I may even become adventurous and learn to *enjoy* the rapids… chuckle, chuckle, chuckle.

As I went about my day I noticed I felt lighter, freer, unburdened, and I caught myself several times humming the theme song from The Lion King, trying to remember the lyrics – something about the Circle of Life. Everyone and everything is part of the Circle. It’s all one Life energy rising and falling, contracting and expanding – the fear *and* the joy. Everything held in the Circle…

Here’s the link for the dancing video in case you want a heart smile today. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY