A Non-Path Path :) - a meandering...

I am feeling the need to settle deeper into the interior, and 
rediscover a sense of the inner Truth of Myself; not by following
a particular external path - but by intuitively listening to the 
Inner Voice; by spending time in Quietude, and "The Silence"
(which I crave, but so easily avoid by getting distracted on
non-essential things.).

"The Quest" - for me then - is to discover the Deeper Reality of

Myself.  I have forgotten how to be ME!  In a sense, what I was
"designed" for; one could say my Soul's "calling"...   Some call it
the Self (or Higher Self), but I get hung up on those words, because
the big "S" Self is not another self hidden somewhere inside us with
a big S on it that we have to "become"/discover.  But it's the discovery
of, a remembering of, having a felt sense of, the authentic, natural
self, beyond mind, beyond religion, beyond "spirituality."  Who are
 we really?   What is the "Deeper Reality"? I thought maybe I knew, 
but I haven't really met Her - yet...  Hopefully I will find the Deep
Quiet of the Heart, and the Illuminating Light of the Soul.

The path of "Enlightenment"/"Awakening"/"Self-Realization",
particularly what is popularly known as "Non-Duality, wasn't
IT for me, with its attraction to the mind and its abstractions and
mind games. It is just another construct, a belief system.  I found
out that the "Emperor has no clothes!  And I'd rather not describe
Truth by a negative - with no-me, no-self, no other, no world - as
Truth  is all inclusive - including duality, me, self, other, humanity,
and the world.

Even if one follows a "spiritual path" (which can be any path), life
will not suddenly become easy or flowing with bliss, although there
may be little epiphanies and "awakenings" here and there. We won't
necessarily lose our personality with its quirks, and become an
emotionless automaton. We won't lose our conditioning, or our 
neuroses.  Our thoughts will not stop, neither will our surface
struggles, or our pain, or our stories.  Walking "a path" doesn't even
guarantee that we will actually *see* life differently, or suddenly
find our "purpose" - as if there is only one.  But no one tells you
this about "the path."  It has to be a self-discovery, even if we have
a "Teacher", a "Path", or use a "Teaching" to help point the way.

It is different for everyone, of course.  I'm only reflecting on my
own experience here...

Years of seeking, realization, recognition, and then forgetting, and
then seeking again, then remembering, and then forgetting again, etc.,
brought me to the realization that discovering (or rediscovering) the
Essence of who I am is, for me, through awareness of and deep
intimacy with "The Silence" within; through continually coming
back to "The Silence of Source" - the space of Stillness, and
innate Wisdom - which of course is wherever we are at the 
moment, not off in the distance somewhere.  It's not a place.
"The path" doesn't *go* anywhere.  There is no reward at the end.
It's an inner pathless path...  And that's my "path" - again :)
rediscovering the inner Silent Truth of Myself, directly;
experiencing the underlying Rhythm of Existence Itself, and
within that the Truth of Myself...

Mystic Meandering
April 2024

~

Wanderer, your footsteps are the road,
and nothing more;
Wanderer, there is no road.
The road is made by walking...

By walking one makes the road,
and upon glancing behind
one sees the path that will
never be trod again...

Wanderer, there is no road -
only wakes upon the sea..."

Antonio Machado

~

Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest in peace.
The ten thousand things rise and fall
while the [inner] self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then
return to the source.
Returning to the source is stillness,
which is the way of nature...

Returning is the motion of the Tao.

Lao Tzu

~~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
taken at the Denver Botanical Gardens

 

The Ever-Changing "Path" - a meandering

Once again Life is asking me to change my "path."
I am again embarking on what feels like a leap into
uncertainty, jumping off the "spiritual treadmill,"
and allowing myself to just BE,
letting go of the need to look through a particular
"spiritual" filter.
Although I am still drawn to all things "spiritual."
It's in my Soul, and DNA :)

I rediscovered recently how freeing it is to just be "me" - 
not trying to be more "spiritual", or something other than I am.
I don't have to be self-conscious about using the words
 "I", "me", and "my" - in some kind of pseudo "non-dualness",
as some traditions do...
 - because -
 it's all Source - expressing ItSelf. 
There's no need to make a distinction between self and
 Self, creating divisions where there aren't any.

I only need to BE, and let Source reveal Itself,
express Itself, live Itself as "me" - a wave on the Ocean of Being.

It's not about "me" being "enlightened", but rediscovering my
authentic, natural self - and just living it - just walking it.
It's a fluid "path", not static, and not always clear.

I continue to gradually shed the conceptual frameworks that
have defined and informed my "path" so far - the boxes of
belief that have tended to constrain my authentic expression.
And now trying to extricate myself from the life dramas
that have preoccupied my mind and life recently; although that
is proving to be harder than I thought.

This shift in consciousness is happening gradually, over time,
and I doubt that it's over.  There is no finish line to cross, no
destination to arrive at.  It's a never-ending exploration of the
Truth of Myself;  which sometimes feels like an
"existential crisis." :)

I no longer pursue a "path" or "teacher", but only a direct
intimacy/communion with "The Mystery"/The Divine/Source
(however one defines that for themselves) - listening and
waiting for the Inner Voice...

Asking: What is "The Mystery" calling me to now?

Mystic Meandering
April 2024

~

Photo from the internet

 

A Meanderer's Way - a meandering...

Ever since I was a child I wanted to know God - a child's
understanding of a "religious" God, of course. I had a love
affair with Jesus, believing he would bring me to "God."
Then, as an adult, my search evolved and expanded to include
finding "myself", whoever she was/is :)  Then the search for
 Truth, Wisdom and Enlightenment - through Metaphysics,
Buddhism ( I was enamored with The Buddha, not Buddhism,
although there were many gems there that I have retained),
Advaita and Non-Duality, and Hinduism/Kashmir Shaivism.
with its many deities for all occasions. :)
I mean, what more could there be, right? 
While each had their own unique "Way", they
were really all the same "path," under different disguises,
with different emphases.

And now through all my many meanderings, I am feeling the
need to settle in, deepen into the Depths within myself and see
what's there; not by following yet another particular external
"spiritual" path - but listening deeply to the Inner promptings
 and opening to the Inner animating Life Energies, by spending
 time in the Great Silence - which has been difficult to do lately...

Being on a "spiritual path" has always felt like I was intentionally
going SOMEwhere, seeking "Some-thing" that I would find at
the "end" of my journey; like retirement after a life of working;
or the magical pot of gold at the end of the mythical rainbow; or
even the mystical "Holy Grail."   Or maybe even seeking an
"end" to suffering, pain, ignorance, my humanness, as I turned
 into  "Light" :), or even the end of seeking.  

But what if there is no such "path", no need for seeking the
 illusive big "S"-self that non-duality spiritual seekers are seeking? 
 I discovered for myself there isn't a big "S" "spiritual"-Self that
"we" become.  There is no other "Self" to "find/become." 
There's just our "Natural Self" or Essence that wants to be
discovered, recognized, known; that is playful, creative,
expressive and free...

The path of "Enlightenment"/"Awakening"/"Self-Realization"
(popularly known as "Non-Duality"), is much like all the other
paths I have taken throughout my life.  It's just another construct. 
 I found that the Emperor has no clothes!  And I'd rather not
describe  "Truth" by a negative - with no-me, no-self-, no-other,
no-world - as "Truth" is all inclusive - including duality, me, self,
 other, and world.

Even if one follows "a path" there is no guarantee that we will
discover what we are looking for, and life will not suddenly 
become easy or flowing with bliss.  We won't necessarily lose
 our personality with its quirks, our conditioning, or our neuroses.
The "ego" doesn't die! - gasp...  It's all part of the package, our
uniqueness.  Ego is an interface with the Natural Self/Essence.

Our thoughts will not stop, neither will our surface struggles, or
our pain, or our stories.  Walking "a path" doesn't even guarantee
that we will actually see life differently from either the mountain-
top, or with nose to the ground; or suddenly find our "purpose" -
 as if there was only one.  But no one tells us this about "the path.
  It has to be discovered for ourselves - even if we have a "Teacher",
or use a "Teaching" to point the way...  We still have to travel
our own unique way...

Years of seeking, realization, and recognition brought me to an old
realization that rediscovering the Essence of who I am, the Natural
Self within a Divine Cosmology, is through awareness of and deep
intimacy with the Great Silence within; (the 4th "key" that I found
on the way, although should probably be the first) through
continually coming back to the space of Silent, Still, Innate Knowing -
which of course is wherever we are, not off in the distance somewhere
It's not a place.  "The path" doesn't go anywhere.  There is no 
reward at the end.  It's an inner pathless path...  And that's the "path"
that I keep returning to :) - rediscovering this deep inner Silence
again and again - remembering the underlying Rhythm of the 
Cosmos ItSelf - humming in and through me...

Ommmmmm....

_/\_
Namasate

Mystic Meandering
updated Aug 18, 2023

It's never ending... :)

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

 

Pathless Pilgrim - a meandering...

I am a "pathless pilgrim" - and yet there is focus...
I now know I am not "called" to any particular 
"spiritual path", although I have meandered down many
over the course of my life.  I am no longer "seeking"
anything "out there" - not "God", nor even "enlightenment."
  And still, there is a sense of a "pilgrimage" of sorts; an
exploration of the Inner Landscape of "The Mystery."
Plumbing the depths of the mystery of Being within
and experiencing how that unfolds within me -
or better, how it unfolds me...

It has become a way of life actually, a continuous unfoldment,
an ongoing "returning" to the core of my Being; that silent,
still core of Being within, from which my life arises and
emerges as "me."

For what is "God" but that Eternal Essence within;
the Eternal OM of Existence - the Infinite Sound of Being;
the Emptiness that isn't empty; the Silence that isn't silent;
the Stillness that isn't still, but pulsates with The Rhythm of
Life, the Primal Energy that flows within us and through
Existence.  It is the genderless spaciousness of Primordial
Energy where there is no separation or union, just the 
Source of Being...

Mystic Meandering
Feb, 8, 2014
June 2023 - ongoing & unfolding

~

Photo from the Internet

 

Wandering Without a Trail...

Wandering without a trail,
my focus on finding The Truth
is realized as a self-made illusion.

Not needing to find yet another belief system;
no longer a need for a specific path
cut by others; not the illusion of 
future "enlightenment" through practices,
disciplines, or self-control...

Finding comfort in loosening the
constraints of  the "spiritual cocoon"
that I wrapped myself in for so long;
even the mantel of meditation
has become too heavy and is unraveling -
becoming frayed - like an old prayer shawl.

Reborn from the Chrysalis of my comforting beliefs,
finding freedom in Just BEing ME,
without suffocating concepts of dogma or doctrine,
or a defined "spiritual image"; instead, 
rediscovering myself...

Breaking free from the "spiritual" constructs;
the scaffolding of beliefs and ideas about
"spirituality" that propped "me" up;
caught in spiritual ideals and identities,
unable to fly...

Freed now from the cage of my own making
I can breathe, I can LIVE
intuitively, being moved from within,
listening for what calls to me...
discovering freedom in being open to where life goes,
as I wander without a trail...

Mystic Meandering
Nov. 18, 2019

~

Photo - taken by my father 1952/53

~

"our grasp of truth.....may not last forever.

Hermann Hesse

 

Epiphany - 2013

It seems that my "spiritual path" has been laced with small
"epiphanies" and "divine flashes" of awareness, and "mini
awakenings" over the years.  I had one of those moments
back in 2013 when standing in my backyard.  I had stepped
outside to be in nature for a while, connecting with the stillness
and silence - taking it all in - noticing and feeling the connection.
I was in the process of taking some pictures of the shadows 
that the late afternoon sun in November was making on the fence,
when suddenly the words: "There is nothing but 'God'" ran
unbidden and unexpectedly through the silence of my being.
Say what!  There was an immediate sense of profound peace,
contentment, and joy in my heart.  I even started to giggle to
myself.  But I was also completely shocked by the word - 
"God" - and my very tangible felt experience of it.

I had not used the "God" language in years, after leaving the
religion of my childhood some 26 years before this, as it holds
imagery of my Christian upbringing of a person in the clouds
with white beard, meting out judgment.  It has so many old
paradigms, somewhat fundamentalist "religious" connotations
from my past, which made it all the more surprising that this
was the word that floated through.  If the inner "voice" had said:
 "All there is, is "Awareness," or "Consciousness, " or "Pure Being,"
 I would have gone, of course! - as those are the words that I often

use, abstract as they are. I also have used words like Buddha Nature,
The Divine,The Self, Brahman, The Ineffable, The Eternal, or
The Infinite. But I was jolted awake by the clear use of the word
"God." As this phrase ran through me I had the image of a deep
golden light, like a sunset, that ran across the screen of my mind,
as if to show me the depth and vastness of the word.  As it wasn't
 the persona "God" image of my childhood.  No, it was an
 incomprehensible sense of vast, expansive, all-inclusive, infinite,
 ubiquitous, Alive Presence, with which I felt an immediate sense of
  inherent communion - not one which needed to be sought after,
 but that was already actively happening...  And with that
realization came profound sense of Grace...

It was also realized that it doesn't matter if there is a sense of
a "me" or "no-me"; if one "concentrates" or not, or meditates,
or not.  It is inconsequential.  It was just realized that all there is,
is Infinite Existence that just IS - no matter what name or
qualities we give It...  or how we discover it for ourselves.

_/\_

Mystic Meandering
2013

~

Art: Mystic Meandering
Ethereal Vortex
Done with fingers and Craypas oils
2010

 

The Inter-Spiritual Heart - Mirabai Starr

For decades I was conditioned to believe that to engage a mature
spiritual life I needed to "pick one tradition and go deep," which
implied that my attraction to the teachings and practices at the
heart of all religions was superficial and indolent.  Also, that the
path of non-dualism - with its affirmation of undifferentiated
consciousness - was superior to my devotional disposition.  Also,
that my experience of longing for God was an illusion - some
kind of unconscious blend of unresolved childhood abandonment
and magical thinking.  In other words, the energy that fueled my
journey was predicated on a perfect storm of delusional inclinations.

It was only when the fire of loss swept into my life and burned the
scaffolding to the ground that all conceptual constructs came
tumbling down and these insidious messages revealed themselves
as 1) unkind, and 2) untrue.  From the ashes of grief a transfigured,
more authentic self began to arise, and she felt no obligation to
choose sides.  She was a Jew and a Sufi, a believer and an agnostic.
She practiced Vipassana and Centering Prayer, observed Shabbat
and received communion.  She rested in blessed moments of
unitive consciousness and sang the praises of Lord Krishna.

I am not alone.  A 'tribe" of people is coalescing around the world
to celebrate a reorientation from religious separation to inter-
spiritual connection.  While many of us have been pilgrims on this
path for decades - sometimes feeling alone in the wilderness,
sometimes gathering with others who are similarly drawn to the
sacred in every single holy house we encounter - now, at last, our
numbers seem to be reaching a tipping point and what was a
fringe phenomenon is become a global movement.

The inter-spiritual path is characterized as much by what it is not
as what it is.  It is not a new religion; in fact many of its most
enthusiastic adherents consider themselves "spiritual but not
religious."  It has no creed or dogma, no tenets or prohibitions. No
special attire sets it apart and so single symbol represents its core
philosophy.  It's "membership" is as diverse as the full spectrum
of humanity.  It is not about belief...

Mystical poetry transcends theological distinctions and neutralizes
ideological ultimatums.  Love poems to God do not describe 
Ultimate Reality: they evoke it.  The poems of the mystics slip
past the thought-guardians and batter down the gates of the heart.
In crying out to the Holy One, the ecstatic poets offer us a direct
connection with the object of our Soul's deepest desire, and ours.

Mystical poetry generates a sacred field, and invites us to step in.

It is here, in the center of the perennial paradox, that it becomes
obvious all spiritual paths emanate from and return to the same
Universal Heart.

Mirabai Starr

read full article here

with thanks to No Mind's Land

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Which Door? - Aurelius Symmachus

 We all look up to the same stars;
The same heaven is above us all;
The same universe surrounds us all.
What does it matter by what
system of knowledge
we seek to know
the truth?

Not by one path alone
may we attain to
so great a secret.

Quintus Aurelius Symmachus

A Roman Statesman

~

Photo from the Internet

The Compass Of My Soul - Chuck Surface

I've read so much of the Great Paths,
Resonating here, with this,
Finding myself uneasy there, with that,
Until setting each tome aside...

'Twas You I found, wordless, within.

I've traveled far, to famed teachers,
Being uplifted here, by this,
Finding myself disturbed there, by that,
Until, leaving those places...

'Twas You I found, speechless, within.

I've sojourned in the villages of faith,
And in each discovered jewels,

In the rubble heaps of dogma,
But always, my sandals caked in mud...

'Twas You I found, Sparkling, there.

Beyond the safe harbors of orthodoxy,
In the deep waters of The Great Mystery,
Tossed in Dread Tempests of Unknowing,
Unanchored, Rudderless, Adrift...

'Twas You I found, the Compass of my Soul.

Chuck Surface

Garden of the Beloved

Facebook

~

Photo from Chuck's FB page

The Pathless Path - reloaded...

This post was originally written in 2011
but is still timely for me...

I find the older I get the more I want to experience Truth directly,

and leave the many trodden "spiritual paths" that I've been on all my
life behind.  Even as a child I wanted to know "God" - a child's
understanding of God.  Then my search evolved and expanded to
include finding "myself" - whoever that was :), the Truth, Wisdom,
peace of mind, and last, but not least, the search for "Enlightenment."
They are all the same"path" under different disguises.  And now,
through all these many paths, I am feeling the need to settle, deepen,
and re-discover a sense of inner Truth; not by following a particular
external path - but by intuitively listening to the voice of my Heart;
experiencing Inner Beingness directly, through spending time in
Silence (which I avoid so easily).  Now if Life would only cooperate
and provide a less chaotic, disruptive, distracted life!  Just kidding -
maybe...  :)

 Being on a "spiritual path" implies that one is going somewhere,
seeking "Some - *thing*" at the end of the journey - like
retirement after a life of working; or a magical pot of gold at the end
of the mythical rainbow; or even the mystical "Holy Grail."  Or maybe
one is even seeking an end to something, like suffering, pain,
ignorance, their humanness, or the end of seeking.  But what if there
was no need for "a path",, no need for seeking the illusive big
"Some-thing" that spiritual seekers seek?  I find myself in this place
of questioning - again...  I have been down the "seeking road" -
many times.

The path of "Enlightenment"/"Awakening"/"Self-Realization",
particularly the path of what is known as Advaita or "Non-Duality",
has lost its luster, its pull, its certainty for me - much like the other
paths I have taken throughout my life.  It's just another construct.
  And I'd rather not describe Truth by a negative - with no-me, no-self,
 no other, no world - as Truth is all inclusive - including duality,
 me, self, other, world.

Even if one follows "a path" (which can be any path) there is no
guarantee that we will discover what we are looking for, and life will
not suddenly become easy or flowing with bliss.   We won't necessarily
lose our personality, with its quirks, our conditioning, or neuroses. 
Our thoughts will not stop, neither will our surface struggles, or
 our pain,  or our stories.  Walking "a path" doesn't even guarantee
 that we will  actually see life differently from either the mountain top,
 or nose to the ground;  or suddenly find our "purpose" -
as if there's only one. But no one tells us  this about "the path."
 It has to be a Self-discovery - for ourselves -  even if we have a
"Teacher" or follow a "Teaching"  to point the way.

Years of seeking, realization, recognition, and then forgetting, and then
remembering, and then forgetting again - brought me to the realization
that discovering (or rediscovering) this Being Self/Truth that we are,
 is through awareness of and deep intimacy with The Silence within;
through continually coming back to the Heart of Being - the space of
Silent, Still, innate Wisdom - which of course is wherever we are at the
moment, not off in the distance somewhere.  It's not a place. 
"The path" doesn't go anywhere.  There is no reward at the end. 
It's an inner pathless path...  And that's my "path" - rediscovering
 this inner Silent,  Aware Wisdom.  It's an inner pathless path
 of remembering; remembering the underlying Rhythm of
 Life ItSelf -

Ommmmmm...

"A mystic is content with nothing less than
to touch the Truth in its most universal purity"

Ivan Granger
Poetry Chaikhana

~

Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest in peace.
The ten thousand things rise and fall
while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then
return to source.
Returning to the source is stillness,
which is the way of nature....

Returning is the motion of the Tao.

Lao Tzu

~~

Photo - taken by my father
1952/53

I'm still here... :)

There have been several people who thought that my last post,
"Good-bye Yellow Brick Road" was about, among other things,
saying goodbye to this blog...

There are no plans to quit the blog...
or take it down...

Just opening another chapter...

It may take on a different flavor,
challenging my own fantasies about "spirituality."

I still have things I want to post which reflect where I am
in my "evolution of awareness", which may be of interest.
I will still post what inspires me and hopefully you as well...
I may re-post some of my earlier writings if it reflects where
I am now.

I humbly thank you for reading here,
and thank the handful of those who have encouraged me
to keep posting, both in private and in public.  I am glad that
you find what is posted here inspiring and thought provoking...

Namaste

_/\_

As a friend recently wrote to me:

"The mind continues to Wonder.
but without struggle or need."

And another wonderful quote from a blogger friend - by Rumi

"I have been a seeker, and I still am.
But I stopped asking the books and the stars,
I started listening to the teachings of my soul."

goosebumps!

No False Steps - Agnes Martin

Of all the pitfalls in our paths and the tremendous
delays and wanderings off the track I want to say
that they are not what they seem to be.  I want to
say that all that seems like fantastic mistakes are
not mistakes, all that seems like error is not error;
and it all has to be done.  That which seems like a
false step is the next step.

Agnes Martin

Writings

Artsy

~

Photo - a rock pathway, color inverted...

The Pathless Path Unfolds Endlessly...

I know I posted a version of this earlier this year, but it was timely for me to post it again - with a few changes - to remind myself - as I find myself at another turning of the page to new awareness..  The original post was written in 2011... "The path" continues to unfold...  Somehow I just couldn't get this into a poem :)

As I move though my elder years the more I just want to rest in the Ineffable Space of Being, leaving the many trodden "spiritual paths" that I've been on all my life behind - actually - I already have.  I've been on a pathless path for many years now.

As a child I had an innocent longing to "know God" - directly; a child's understanding of a religious "God" figure - and pursued that longing through many religions and "spiritual paths" over many years.  The path evolved into the search for "Awakening" and "Enlightenment."  They are all the same "path" really, Longing for what is Ineffable in different disguises.  After all these many paths, I recently stopped pursuing; not because I had finally "found" anything - but because I realized The Ineffable is not a "thing" to be "found."  It only and always just IS - Everywhere - simultaneously.  One only needs to turn within and intuitively listen to and experience the movement of The Ineffable within - the inherent Inner Being - that pure space of Love that knows no limit or condition...

Being on a "spiritual path" implies that one is going somewhere, seeking some *thing* at the end of the journey - like retirement after a life of working, or the magical pot of gold at the end of the mythical rainbow, or even the mystical "Holy Grail."  Or maybe one is even seeking an end to something, like suffering, pain, spiritual ignorance, their humanness, or the end of seeking itself.  But what if there was no need for seeking the illusive big "Some-thing" that spiritual seekers seek?  I know, I have been down the "seeking road" - many times.

"Spirituality" and the pursuit of "Enlightenment"/"Awakening" has lost its luster, its pull, its certainty and security - much like the other paths I have taken throughout life.  They are just constructs.  And I found they did not take me where my Heart longed to go...  And - I finally noticed that the energy of "pursuit" has a quality of *trying* - trying to get some *thing*, or somewhere - to arrive; striving and struggling to find; grasping after an illusive thing that I called "Enlightenment", "Awakening", (or God).  Pursuing became a burden of *trying* to find - like a game of hide and seek.

Dropping the *pursuit* of all *ideas* of "spirituality" allows me to just rest. It relieved the burden of feeling *responsible* for finding some *thing* - forever seeking; as if it were up to me.  Instead, remaining open to the Ineffable in the every-day-ness of life allows *The Mystery* to reveal ItSelf - like a treasure that has always been there, but suddenly reveals its brilliance when we aren't *trying* to *see* it.  But, I often get caught in the pursuit again, in very subtle ways.  Wanting to really Know with certainty what cannot be known with certainty - because it is a mystery.

Years of seeking and pursuing brought me to the realization that as we "evolve" the "path" dissolves.  What we *think* we "know about The Ineffable, God, Life, "spirituality", changes, and we find ourselves in a place of not needing to seek, not needing to "know" anything about The Ineffable, but only wanting to Rest in the Ineffable; to experience that which can't truly be "known" with the mind - but through a more intimate, intuitive "knowing" with the whole of our being.  Discovering (or rediscovering) the Ineffable within ourselves, through an awareness of and deep intimacy with The Mystery, through continually coming back to the timeless space of Silent Awareness of what is always within - the space of The Ineffable Mystery of Being - and resting there...

In Solitude - listening within, in times of Meditative Silence - listening within the space of Pure Awareness, and even listening to our deepest wounds, surrenders us and opens the door to experiencing The Mystery, of which there is no end...  It is not a "place."  The "spiritual path" doesn't go anywhere.  It doesn't end, but endlessly unfolds, and deepens, and therefore continues as an inner pathless path of openness, rest and direct experience; experiencing the *feeling* of the Ineffable, the felt sense of the underlying Mystery of Existence - the Breath within the breath - the underlying Rhythm of Life - however that manifests for each of us - until we are "reabsorbed"/dissolved into the timeless, formless Mystery again, from which we came, at the death of our form...

"...all the activity (seeking) eventually leads us to a giving up.
And in this surrender what is revealed is seen to be what has always been here
- before the searching began...
The task turns out to be ceding to stillness...
Falling back and resting.
Amidst life itself we find our self sinking back into what is underneath the surface,
recognizing our true fundamental nature..."

Joan Ruvinsky
Pathless Yoga

Joan was reabsorbed into the
Ineffable Mystery
March 21, 2016

~*~

Instead of building a road to somewhere...
the life of spirit requires us to open doors
that wait before us and within us;
opening doors into the life we already have -
inhabiting the life we are given -
facing the very pulse of life that waits like a
kind mother at the edge of our exhaustion.

Mark Nepo

True Center - Ivan Granger

Sages of all lands keep reminding us that the spiritual journey
is a journey of awareness, and specifically Self-awareness.
It is not a journey of acquisition.
Or intellect.
Or adherence to rules.

It is not a matter of how many books we're read.
Or how many times we've read them.
The only question of any value is whether we've yet
recognized their truths... within ourselves.

It is not a matter of how often we pray.
Or how perfectly we enunciate each prescribed word.
The question is, have we discovered how true prayer
wells up within us of its own accord.

We may not approach the spiritual path as a matter of
superficial actions or brittle creeds,
but we also can become swept up in endless new ideas,
new flashes of insight, new pathways, new teachers.
This can lead to a culture of lifelong seeking that becomes
our comfort zone;
a culture that takes on the form of religion (or spirituality)
without actually discovering the true center...
What we seek is found only and always
in the Heart of the heart...

Ivan Granger
Poetry Chaikhana

(Ivan's words, my format)

~

Photo - Mandala Art digitally altered

The Pathless Path is Endless...

As I move through my “elder years” the more I want to experience the Ineffable – directly - leaving the many trodden “spiritual paths” that I’ve been on all my life behind – actually I already have.  I have been on a pathless path for many years now.  

As a child I had an innocent longing to “know God” – directly – a child’s understanding of a religious “God” figure - and pursued that longing through many “spiritual paths” over many years.  Then the path evolved into the search for “Awakening” and “Enlightenment”  They are all the same “path” really, Longing for what is Ineffable in different disguises.  And now, after all these many paths, I finally stopped pursuing; not because I had finally “found” anything – but because The Ineffable is not a “thing” to be “found” –  It only and always just IS.  Everywhere… simultaneously.  One only needs to turn within, feel The Silence, and intuitively listen to and experience the movement of The Ineffable within – the inherent inner Reality - directly.  And yet, there is still a Longing for what I call the “Supreme Reality” beyond the surface of daily living – that which illumines everyday reality…

Being on a “spiritual path” implies that one is going somewhere, seeking some thing at the end of the journey - like retirement after a life of working, or the magical pot of gold at the end of the mythical rainbow, or even the mystical “Holy Grail.”  Or maybe one is even seeking an end to something, like suffering, pain, ignorance, their humanness, or the end of seeking itself.  But what if there was no need for seeking the illusive big “Some-thing” that spiritual seekers are seeking?   I know, I have been down the “seeking road” – many times. 

The pursuit of “Enlightenment”/”Awakening”/”Self-Realization” has lost its luster, its pull, its certainty of an end for me – much like the other paths I have taken throughout my life.  They are just constructs.  And I found they did not take me where my Heart longed to go…  And – I finally noticed that the energy of “pursuit” has a quality of trying to get something, or somewhere – to arrive; striving, struggling to find; grasping after an illusive thing that I called “Enlightenment”, “Awakening” (or God). Pursuing had become a burden that I must find what I was pursuing – like a game of hide and seek.

Not pursuing has relieved that burden.  It relieved the burden of feeling responsible for finding some thing - forever seeking.  Instead remaining open to The Ineffable allows the Ineffable to reveal ItSelf – like a treasure that has always been there, but suddenly reveals its brilliance in the every-day-ness of life, when we aren’t looking.

Years of seeking and pursuing brought me to the realization that as we “evolve” the “path” dissolves.  What we think we “know” about The Ineffable, God, life, spirituality changes, and we find ourselves in a place of not needing to seek, not needing to know anything about The Ineffable, but only wanting to experience The Ineffable; to experience that which can’t be truly “known” with the mind – but through a more intimate, intuitive “knowing” with the whole of our being.  Discovering (or rediscovering) the Ineffable for ourselves through an awareness of and deep intimacy with the Silence of this Grand Mystery, through continually coming back to the timeless space of Silent Awareness of what is always there – the space of The Ineffable Mystery of Being.

Meditative Silence and Awareness opens the door to what I experience as a “Supreme Reality.”  But it’s not a “place.”  The “spiritual path” doesn’t go anywhere.  It doesn’t end, but endlessly unfolds, and deepens, and therefore continues as an inner pathless path of openness and direct experience; experiencing the feeling of the Ineffable, the felt sense of the underlying Mystery of Existence – the Breath within the breath –the underlying Rhythm of Life – however that manifests for each of us – until we are re-absorbed into the Ineffable, timeless Great Mystery ItSelf…

“…all the activity (seeking) eventually leads us to a giving up.

  And in this surrender what is revealed is seen to be what has always been here

 – before the searching began…

  The task turns out to be ceding to stillness…

Falling back and resting.

   Amidst life itself we find our self sinking back into what is underneath the surface,

 recognizing our true fundamental nature…”

Joan Ruvinsky

Pathless Yoga

In memory of Joan Ruvinsky

who was reabsorbed into the endless

 Ineffable Mystery 

March 21, 2016

~*~

Photo: My father’s footsteps in the snow

taken by my father c. 1952/53

Remembering What You Love - Chuck Surface

“What is there to do,
but remember what you Love,
and ache with all your Heart,
however distant Heaven may seem,
however much a fairytale and a Dream.

What is there to do,
but rest, with each breath and heartbeat,
in that U n b e a r a b l e Longing,
which will not be consumed,
by the fires of doubt and despair.

For you did not choose to be stricken,
but simply found yourself afflicted,
with a Remembering beyond memory,
a Feeling beyond emotion.
A knowing beyond knowledge…

As yet unKnown.

What else…

For when faith fails, Longing endures,
when belief crumbles, Longing endures.
When other’s paths prove not our own,
Longing endures.

Longing… endures.

What…
But to remember what you Love,
however She presents Herself,
within the Secret Heart,
of your own unique Longing.

You are not cursed, weary Friend!
For this Longing, Unbearable,
is both Path and Guru,
for those of us so Blessed.
And Love…

The Key to the Gates of Heaven.”

Chuck Surface

Author’s note: Thank you, Sandhya Keller, for adding
 “A Remembering beyond memory” and
”A Feeling beyond emotion”;
both so important,
they simply had to be included.

~*~

I recently found the poems and writings of Chuck Surface
on his website Garden of The Beloved.
I was instantly smitten.

I encourage you to link over and fall in love...

PHOTO: Mandala Art

A Pathless Pilgrim...

I continue to walk a “pathless path” (read here) – and yet there is a focus…  I am not “called” to any particular “spiritual path”, although I have meandered down many over the course of my life.  I am no longer “seeking” anything “out there” – not “God”, nor even “enlightenment.”  And still, there is a sense of a contemplative “pilgrimage” of sorts – an exploration of the vastness of the Divine inner landscape, a deepening into The Mystery of the Divine, The Mystery of Existence, plumbing the depths of The Mystery of God-Consciousness and seeing how IT unfolds within me - what IT is calling me to…   It is a way of life actually, a continuous unfoldment, a “returning” to the core of Being, what I now refer to as “the God Space”: the silent, still core of Infinite Being from which everything arises and emerges into being…  For what is “God” but the Eternal OM – the Infinite Sound of Being, the Infinite “Emptiness” of the Cosmos that *isn’t* “empty”, the Silence that isn’t silent, the Stillness that isn’t still, but pulsates with the Rhythm of Life that flows within us and through Existence.  It is the genderless spaciousness of Pure Awareness where there is no separation *or* union, just the Isness of Being – Divine Essence – Innate Presence - our True Nature…

~*~

“This moment in time and space is an eggshell,
personal identity is a sheath.
The breath of God is breathing through it…

Remember the deep root of your Being.

Give yourself to the one who already owns
your breath and your moments.”

Rumi

You must always keep in mind that a path is only a path.

Each path is only one of a million paths.
If you feel that you must not follow it,
you need not stay with it under any circumstances.
Any path is only a path.
There is no affront to yourself or others in dropping a path,
if that is what your heart tells you to do.

But your decision to keep on a path or to leave it

must be free of fear and ambition.

I caution you: look at every path closely and deliberately.
Try it as many times as you think necessary.
Then ask yourself and yourself alone this one question:
Does the path have a heart?

All paths are the same.  They lead nowhere.
The only question is: Does this path have a heart?

If it does, then it is a good path.
If it doesn’t, then it is of no use.

Carlos Casteneda

“Wanderer, your footsteps are the road,

and nothing more;

Wanderer, there is no road.

The road is made by walking…

By walking one makes the road,

and upon glancing behind

one sees the path that will

never be trod again…

Wanderer, there is no road –

only wakes upon the sea…”

Antonio Machado

“The Self is like a powerful magnet within us.

It draws us gradually to ItSelf…

It is the [Divine] magnet

that is pulling us towards ItSelf.”

Ramana Maharshi

~

  ~

   ~

Surrender

    ~
   ~
~

Top Photo taken by my father
1952/53