Tea with "Z"...

Today I had tea with "Z" - a wonderful Fellow Traveler who helps
me to see the "Truth" beyond my life-experience.  He helps me 
unwind the mind when I get a little too wound up in the thought
function of trying to figure it all out, and in my over vigilance about
the words I'm using, trying not to sound "dualistic, or "non-dualistic."
I sometimes find it hard having tea with "Z" because he tends to
deconstruct all the conceptual fabrications that I have built around
myself.  He points out to me, in the most non-judgmental ways,
where I am still hiding behind the words - defending, explaining,
clarifying - in an attempt to be "spiritually correct" so as not to
offend, so as to be understood, and where I'm still caring about how
I'm being seen.  Sometimes in this allowing myself to be seen in
the places where I am still attached there is an incredible feeling of
vulnerability, and a wanting to contract, to not see or be seen.  But
today "Z" invited me to see in a way that helped me let go of all
that.  (And here I want to explain that "we" really don't "let go" of
anything.  It dissolves when it is truly seen.  So you see the kinds
of word games I get into here, wanting to be sure you know that
I'm not caught in some dualistic way of thinking and expressing...:)

Anyway, what "Z" offered me in all my wrangling and entanglement
in thought and words today is this:  Who is having the thought that
you have to figure it out, that you have to know, that you have to be
vigilant about your words, about life?  What part of you says what
you know is not enough, that who you are is not enough, that the
way you express is not "right"?  In the moments of silence that
followed as I "checked in" internally (tea with "Z" is very
experiential:), I met the "internal monitor" - this hyper-vigilance
about languaging and expression, the "aspect" that tends to want to
monitor everything I do and say - and - I met the belief in 
inadequacy, in "not good enough."  And in that moment of meeting
them I saw that all there actually is, is Embrace.  There is only a
deep, compassionate Embrace for these "aspects" of the self. There
is just Embrace embracing, holding this vigilance, this
inadequacy, this not good enough belief.  In the seeing of this
all the contractions around the concepts relaxed - let go of me. 
In that moment of seeing I realized that what I had been struggling
with doesn't matter - the words, the vigilance, the inadequacy -
because it's all just being embraced - all the thinking and feeling
and expressing and doing.
There's only Embrace of all that is, as it is.  There is only
"The Mystery" revealing ItSelf in every expression.  It was what
I bring my attention to that fuels it into a fire of thought vigilance,
or thought frenzy that obscures the seeing of the Embrace.  I contract
into, become fixated on, and identified with those objects of attention,
unable to see beyond them; seemingly unable to experience the
Embrace of it all.

In this incredible opening of a doorway into seeing clearly there was
a sense of translucence, of everything being seen through - as it is -
just thought forms, or objects in Embrace, in Consciousness, in 

Awareness (sorry, the word thing again :) that are utterly translucent.
And with this also came the realization that I don't need to to explain or
clarify anything.  And then "Z"'s absolutely lovely words emerged into
clarity: "Don't focus on the words, on the thoughts, on the concepts, just
keep bringing your attention to the Embrace that holds it all."

In wordless wonder...

July 30, 2009

"Z" is Mitch Rosacker, now a professional, what I call a "perspective
changer" - or - "spiritual therapist" :) - although he may cringe at those
words.  He has his own practice called Self Discovery Studio - which
is lovingly known as the Ashram of Inverness. His apporach is
spiritually creative, sensitive to where you are, insightful, intuitive,
 encouraging and freeing.  He is also an artist by nature using art as a
way of opening to "The Mystery" within... 
I've sat with him many times over the years.

MM

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
enhanced with Luna Pic