Shift Happens...

Life is shifting again -
the "apocalypse" of mankind
seemingly upon us...

I feel it in my spirit -
an annoying disorientation.
I see it in my husband's face,
our aging bodies...
our minds fading...

the world in distress...

Endings & Beginnings...

COVID culling the human race...

Fire guts the land - its smoke
circling the globe;
man's arrogance and entitlement
up in flames...

Mother Nature devastates Haiti;
human suffering left in
Her wake -
the vulnerability of existence...

Afghanistan crumbles -
desperate ones run with the planes
trying to escape their fate,

unable to take flight...

Where once Stillness of Being was,
the Natural Inner State -
A collective unsettledness and restlessness
have taken up residency...

Kali, the fierce one, destroyer of unreality, reigns;
standing outside the constraints of culture,
transcending time and space -
forcing us to face our current reality;
removing our illusions,
loosening our attachments,
gleaning us for something new...

Nothing escapes her Holy Chaos...

We are crossing an evolutionary 
Bridge of the Unknown -
from one state of Being to the next;
an alchemical transmutation of our false assumptions
about what is "Real"; what is "True."
A collective spiritual initiation
with its necessary losses...

Stripped of the comforting conceptual certainties of
faith and belief -
we await a new illumination;
a new emergence from the Dark Womb of
the Great Mother...

...until then

Uncertainty abounds...

Nothing stays the same...

Shift Happens...

Mystic Meandering

Aug 17, 2021

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Job/No-Job Roulette...

Yes folks the wheel has turned again and we are in a “no-job” transition once more - after a mere 5 days! J  I won’t dwell on the drama of the details, except for the following brief paragraph – and then shift the paradigm. J

“They” said they really liked B, that he fit the culture there, and had the technical expertise that they needed.  The first day there he solved two technical problems that they had been unable to solve, and was gaining a reputation as the “go to guy” – but by the 4^th day upper level management (whom he had never met) had made “a business decision” (on paper) and decided they wanted a “credentialed scrum master” to run the team’s multiple daily meetings.  Whoa…  That was never mentioned in the job description, or the interview.  He thought he was hired for his technical expertise… Instead they wanted a *certified* meeting leader…  (A “scrum master” is a term used in the Agile system of project management for conducting meetings.)  He did find out that three people had given notice within the last two weeks, one being the hiring manager who interviewed him, and told him on the outtake on the 5^th day, that this might all be a blessing!  Evidently it was a company in chaos.  She also mentioned that they hired him quickly because they “needed to fill a quota” – what kind of quota she didn’t say – maybe for elderly employees. J lol

And so here we are…

Shifting Paradigms…

 Not surprisingly we were stunned and have been in shock – trying to maintain an “awakened” view of “reality”, recognizing that every experience is an *invitation* to see reality differently.  No matter what the circumstances what is important is to constantly return one’s awareness to the inner space of Beingness, the ever-present Awareness that is our True State – that which is right here *in* this moment.  And - to recognize THAT which is within us that is Aware, untouched and non-reactive to life events….   It’s not even about being in the present moment, as there really is no “present moment” because that is merely a construct of time. (A paradox, I know :) There is only the continuous Flow and ongoing unfolding of the Stream of Life – the Eternal NOW - undivided.  It’s about bringing our awareness to THAT - that which is truly Present in the moment – that which is our Eternal Presence that transcends the “present moment” - THAT which is looking through our eyes, and experiencing our experiences.

All of life events and all of our experiences are just occurring in the Stream of Life; are waves in the greater Ocean of Consciousness; ripples on the Primordial pond of Ultimate Reality.  The mind wants to grab for “answers” and explanations, to make sense of it, to interpret the event and try to give it special meaning and significance, based on our cultural and spiritual influences, but life is just happening, playing itself out.  How that plays out doesn’t really matter to the greater Reality – to Consciousness ItSelf.  The Universe is completely neutral and impartial.  We are not “entitled” to have life work out the way we had envisioned, or “intended” –  just because we have worked hard, or because we believe a certain way, or practice certain practices.  As B said - this “job event” is a mere stick in the stream of Ultimate Reality floating by…  It’s all a drama being played out for the ultimate purpose of our awakening, for remembering that Awakened Eternal Essence within…  And so we move on and refocus, continuing to flow in that Stream of Life – remembering Who/What we really are – beyond job, beyond role, beyond identity…

I know that none of what I just said is “new.” J I am just reiterating what the wisdom sages and contemporary spiritual teachers teach.  I just wasn’t able to recall it at the time.   It emerged once again through my discussions with B over the weekend.   It evolved as I moved through the feelings and stages of shock, denial, anger, and acceptance, and a few glasses of wine. J lol…  And – through time in Silence today – remembering…

~

“You don’t play the game,
the game plays you…

The answer is not always
what you think it is…”

Author Unkown

~

Top Photo: Water dish for birds

zoom blurred

Life's Eerie Glow...

Muted golden sunlight came through the living room window Monday evening just before 6pm with the strong smell of smoke filling the air. I looked out the window and saw an eerie glow in the sky. A forest fire was burning out of control in the foothills only about 30 miles from here, as the wind blows. And it was blowing in our direction. I saw the red ball of the sun just above the roof top across the street and went for the camera. As soon as I stepped out the front door I gulped in smoke filled air. I snapped a few pictures and went back inside and closed up the house. Unbeknownst to me, DH had gone down the street to the park to see if he could get some pictures with his cell phone. Those are the ones that came out here. The bright yellow globe and bright light is the sun in a yellow sky. Filtered through the smoke it cast an eerie light on the landscape. Sitting at dinner we could see the smoke wafting through the trees, as the smell of smoke continued to seep through house.

The fire still burns. Two people have died, one is missing. 24 homes were burned to the ground. Homeless in an instant. I can’t imagine. And it wasn’t an act of Nature. It started from a prescribed burn… Some knuckle head in the government allowed a planned burn to take place in the driest, windiest March on record… Go figure.

March is usually our snowiest month, but we haven’t gotten any precipitation at all. We are already breaking temperature records. Summer has arrived, apparently skipping Spring. Today they say we will reach 84 degrees and break a record. The wind has been relentless. Everything is already parched, and everything is blooming. The Maple tree leaves are already out, small as they are. Cottonwoods have budded out. Crab Apple trees are beginning to bloom. Beauty is happening despite the desert-like conditions. Everything is two months ahead of schedule. I’ve been noticing this for 10 years now - this slowly creeping shift in seasonal time, as if the earth itself has shifted to a new rhythm – ever so slowly.

It’s also hard to believe that something so devastating could create such an eerie beauty – from a distance. In an instant it became clear how I often take life for granted, always counting on it being the same – day after day. We, in the “spiritual community” often give lip service to the inevitability of change and suffering, (as long as it’s not happening to us), as we get comfortable with the life we think we have created for ourselves. Or we become ensconced in our “spiritual” search for “enlightenment” (as I have – meandering as it is), only wanting to see beyond: beyond duality, beyond the here and now, beyond life as it is. And it is sometimes hard to come "back to earth" so-to-speak, and surrender to what is, to the immediacy of the moment, to “just this” - seeing life as it is in its rawness. Or some only see this world, and the people in it, as an illusion, a dream – and shut themselves off from life. And some focus only on beauty and what gives pleasure, overlooking the pain of the mundane all around us – and in themselves. In some instances denying that there is a “self” that suffers, that hurts, that grieves… But, if we are paying attention at all, we are reminded by life that the structures (and illusions) that we have built for ourselves – physically, conceptually and spiritually - crumble, and the life (and beliefs) we *think* we have earned and achieved, that we subconsciously feel in control of and entitled to, can go up in smoke.

So what is left when our illusions and beliefs about life and self burn away and we are left standing – naked – in the eerie glow of life…? The Heart of Compassion - for the nakedness of life… That’s all that really matters…

“Only when we know our own darkness well
can we be present with the darkness of others.
Compassion becomes real
when we recognize our shared humanity.”

“To be fully alive, fully human
and completely awake
is to be continually
thrown out of the nest.”

“Life’s painful aspects soften us up.
Gloriousness and pain...
One inspires us, the other softens us.”

Pema Chodron
From The Places That Scare You

Entitlement

Before I looked into the Reflecting Pool on Sunday I have to confess I took a dive into the Sea of Unconsciousness and mud-wrestled with suffering. It was not a pretty sight: lots of venting, whining, arguing in my head about my current life circumstances – bemoaning that *I* didn’t sign up for *this.* “This” meaning the need to “take care of” my sister for the past 6 weeks (and probably 6 more) - which I have written about before, so I won't reiterate the story... :)

My husband patiently listened and allowed me to vent and whine, and then as usual offered up the wisdom that stopped me in my tracks – that stopped the mind from its self-centered indulgence of suffering. He said:

“What makes you think that you’re entitled to have life different than it is?”

Whoa horsey – now that’s the perspective that stopped the gravitational pull back into the subconscious *belief* in a life of being victimized by life’s circumstances – creating suffering and misery. Excuse me while I wipe the mud off my face, straighten my clothes and get back up from the mud hole. It does happen you know, when we least expect it – we are blindsided by our own emotional investment in suffering – as if we were entitled to it.

Ah s0 – yes, I ask – what *does* make me think that I’m entitled? What makes me *expect* that life will go as I had envisioned… And isn’t it this sense of entitlement that causes this mud wrestling – this suffering? Seems so looking back on it.

Hours later I got another view of this sense of entitlement when the phone rang and it was my husband’s sister who literally takes care of their mother who has Alzheimer’s. My sister-in-law is struggling with having to care for her mother, as well as her mother’s loss of cognizance and awareness, AND with her mother not being who *she* wants her to be. I could empathize to a certain degree, although not totally. She is obviously resistant, struggling and suffering. That I could relate to. So I offered my empathy and understanding – knowing how life can take us in unexpected directions. And then I offered my husband’s words of wisdom *thinking* it would help. They were met with indignation and a declaration of disagreement because her *belief* is that we are *entitled* to be happy, to have life the way we want it, as if it was an expectation that life should fulfill. Oops.

And that’s when I heard it again – the *root* of suffering: entitlement and expectation.

As we shared our mutual experiences my sister-in-law then said: “But you *chose* to take care of your sister” as if that somehow lessened what I was experiencing. That pushed a few buttons. :)

My experience is – the “choice” was made already by life circumstances. There was no one else to “take care of my sister.” It was actually not a “choice.” There was really no choice to be made. I just stepped up to the plate to do what needed to be done. No heroics. Life presented the circumstances and I showed up. Not willingly at first. How could I *not* show up!? How could I turn my back and *choose* not to do this? That would have been the choice it seems – to resist where life was going, how life was unfolding – to say no.

My real choice, as I see it now, is in not creating suffering and struggle around what I am being asked by life to do at the moment.

Admittedly that’s been challenging - accepting life as it is, without getting down in the mud and bemoaning my experience…

But even in the mud experience a jewel is offered– a discovery is made: I realized this week that when I am with my sister there is no *thinking* that life should be different, that *I* shouldn’t have to do this, that *this* should not be happening… etc. None of that happens. I am just there, doing what needs to be done – present… And I don’t mean to sound magnanimous here. It’s really not about me at all. It’s about the experience. It all unfolds the way it does, on its own. And I actually find myself *enjoying* being with my sister, *engaging* differently. Wonder of wonders…

The new “awareness moment” now is that when I say “yes” to life as it is, and meet people where they are, there *is* a sense of equanimity that arises internally – despite my moments of mud-wrestling. Eventually the need to oppose, wrestle, resist, and fight with life dissipates – as well as the sense of entitlement. A different rapport with life emerges, one that is more embracing and accepting. This feels much better than mud-wrestling… sigh…

The adventure continues! And more discoveries I’m sure…

i-stock photo