The Elusive Present Moment - St. Augustine & Ostaseski

"Now" is neither in time nor out of time.
The elusive present moment is measured by the tick-tock time
of a clock, which we humans have invented, nor is it separate
from past or future.  There is no time line, at least not as we
conventionally think about it.

St. Augustine (paraphrased)
from - The Five Invitations

~

Hope....is not a wish to be fulfilled, or a plan to be formulated
and executed, but in how we meet the ever-changing moment.

The present moment could best be described as the flow of life.
We are continually being shaped by it and we are shaping it
through the way we meet and respond to it...

Frank Ostaseski
The Five Invitations

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Journey Out of Time - Ram Dass, Rupert Spira, Elias Amidon

Time is a box formed by thoughts of the past and future.
When you're not dwelling in the past or anticipating the future,
but are just here - you're outside of time.
Dwelling in the moment is dwelling in Eternal Presence.
  From within here... you are not being in time. 
You [just] Be, and time goes by, as if you were
standing on a bridge, watching it all go by.

Ours is a journey toward simplicity, toward quietness, toward a
kind of joy that is not in time.  In this journey out of time, we
are leaving behind every model we have had of who we thought
we were.  This journey involves a transformation of our being.
It's a journey that takes us from primary identification with our
psyche to identification with our souls, then to identification
with God, and ultimately beyond any identification at all.

Life is an incredible curriculum in which we live richly and
passionately as a way of awakening to the deepest truths of
our being.  As soul, I live in the moment, in each rich and
precious moment, and I am filled with contentment.

Ram Dass
from Polishing the Mirror:
How to Live from Your Spiritual Heart

~

The Eternal Now,
when seen through the mind,
appears as time.

The Now is our Self.
We are not present in the Now.
We are the Now.

The Now is not a container that contains our Self
along with everything else.
It is our Self, Eternal Presence...

Rupert Spira

~

Let your heart be like the sky,
that transparent, that close.
Touch everything.  Be so quiet
against each leaf, each face.
Where lovers move, be there.
Where bullets strike, be there.
Around each voice, be that air.
Now you know how God feels.

Pir Elias Amidon

The Elastic Now - Ira Progoff

Now is not limited to the immediate instant. It is not just
'here and now', not just the spot on which we stand, nor
this moment when we speak.  Our Now moment is elastic...

The Now of our life thus becomes more than a moment.
It is as long or short as the situation of each life requires,
and it includes the most recent part of the past that is a
meaningful factor *in* the present.  This forms the period
that [we call] Now, our most recent relevant past as it
moves in the present.

For each person, the elastic Now has a different content,
and a different duration.  Whatever [the experience] is
[in our lives] it is the Now for us...  It is the particular
present moment in which we find ourselves.  The present
moment of our lives may cover a short period or a longer
period.  Whatever its duration, whatever its content, whether
it is pleasant or painful..... it is unique to all of us. 
The period of Now varies with each individual.
 It is a movement of life...

Let yourself feel the inward *movement* of your life as it
has been taking shape in this present period.  Hold yourself
in a condition of openness in which no particular thoughts
are dominating your mind.  Be silent. 

Sit in the stillness - feeling the movement of life.
Sit in the quietness - an inward awareness comes.
There is an inward sensing of the tone of our life in this
present movement of our lives...

Ira Progoff

~

By "Here" I don't mean the present space.
Time is in the mind.
"Here" is somewhere within where the mind cannot reach.
Presence is always here and you are always That.
This "here" is not the opposite of "there."
"There" is nowhere, it is your Heart.

When the mind is still all comes back
to the Heart.

All the cosmos is but a speck
in your Heart.

Papaji

The Dancing Matrix of Life - Tarchin Hearn

Life is a boundless matrix of dynamic relationship.
Ultimately, every action reverberates throughout the universe.
I responding to you.
You responding to me.
This responding to that.
That responding to this.

Responsiveness is the living heart of being...
Atoms, molecules, organs and organisms, families and societies;
entire ecosystems, biospheres, planes and galaxies;
all shifting, responding, constantly changing.
Each birthing of this is a dying of that.
Each dying of that is a birthing of this.
Responsive change is the very nature and fabric of what is.
Permanence is a mental abstraction; a hope, a need,
a convenient but potentially deadening freezing
of the actual creative dynamic of all our lives in action.

Suffering arises through trying to fix or make permanent
what is essentially a seamless fluid process.

May we cease grasping at permanence and
with heartful confidence, love, enthusiasm and wide awake
sensitivity, enter fully the great birthing/dying matrix of
responsive relating;
this ineffable, un-pin-down-able, present blessing of now.

Tarchin Hearn

~

Photo - Indra's Net of Jewels Mandala

2013

The Play of Emotion - Rafael Stoneman

Here I am Here again
Not again
But only Now
Though it seems that moments are repeating
It is really One continuous moment.

What changes and what remains the same?
Somehow through the prism of the mind
many moods appear in consciousness
although there is only one Ultimate mood.
This is the miracle of color
The play of emotion.
On the negative end of the scale
we condemn the negative.
But we imagine that we are on the positive end
when we seek ways to remove the negative.
How positive would we feel if there was only
the positive end of the scale?
If we are willing to sacrifice the pain
are we willing to sacrifice the pleasure?
Equanimity is a dear friend.
One that holds the same embrace
for praise and for blame.
The same space for fortune and

for misfortune.
The same face for respect
and betrayal.

Rafael Stoneman

via my friend Michel
at No Mind's Land
where I get a lot of
wonderful posts to reblog :)
Thanks Michel!

~

Photo - original pic was a fire in the fireplace,
digitally zoom blurred and color altered - magic :)

Duality Is Not Separateness...

Oneness
 is a concept
not something to be sought after,
but only recognized as what already is…

Non-Duality is a concept as well…

Advaita says -

Not two – yet not one…

One in Essence…

A Synchronous Singularity

~

Non-duality/Duality
a conundrum -
word games for the intellect…

Neither one *or* the other – but
Both/And…
Not two,
yet not One…

“different” yet the “same”

but

Never~Separate

Formlessness infusing Form,
manifesting ItSelf
dualistically
in manifest experience…

~

The Eternal Now

Pure Formless Being

Exists
in endless multiplicity,
yet singular.

What greater Love could there be
than the Heart of Pure Being

Emanating ItSelf
endlessly
into
Form

An Immersion in the Pure Golden Love
that lives and breathes our being…

A Pure Intimacy of the Heart…

The Beloved: Formlessness
in Form, as me, as ItSelf…

The same synchronous movement

a

Singularity of Being…

Mystic Meandering
Jan/Feb 2015

Dancing In "The Mystery"...

I can’t help myself. I must write what calls to me.

What I now call “God” is not the God of my childhood: the religious “persona” with a long white beard sitting in the clouds, belonging only to one religion, making judgements about who goes to heaven and who goes to hell (if there are such places).  Now I experience “God” as an open, spacious, fluid, alive energy, or Consciousness, or Awareness – that reveals ItSelf as a *felt* Presence.  It reveals ItSelf to be a vast, expansive, infinite, sometimes intense movement of energy, yet compassionate and delicately intimate.  I am (we are) immersed in THAT.  I experience the Silence of Its Vastness…  I want to *feel* Its Presence continually – until all else falls away – all the egoistic veils and mental constructs that keep me from deeply experiencing and *knowing* this Presence, and *seeing* clearly that this *is* who we ARE – Divine Essence.  I want to dive into this delicious Mystery, and be absorbed in its silent Music.   I am unapollogeticaly a “mad woman” who’s Heart is *finally* dancing! J 

Although I have experienced this “energy” for many years, only recently have I been experiencing a “new” sense of the Intimacy of this “Reality”, after my “Epiphany” in early November; experiencing more clearly that all there is, is this vast, aware Presence whom some name “God”, what others call Emptiness or Nothingness, and what I have also called The Mystery, or The Beloved, or The Divine, or The Infinite, or Silence, or Awareness, or Beingness, or Pure Consciousness (among other names.)  It’s all the same…

One night last December I noticed the Full Moon and realized that the moon *reflects* this Mystery back to us every night.  On the surface it’s just an “orb” making its way around the earth, as earth makes its way around the sun – which can be scientifically explained of course. J  But seen from a larger perspective it is mirroring the Vastness of Infinity in which it is suspended.  I am just now comprehending the immensity of this Mystery!  We reduce Reality down to words, to names like Mother Moon, Father Sun, or Mother Earth, and Father Sky, or “God”, living in the stories we apply to them, rather than the *immensity* of the Ultimate Reality that is actually taking place right before our eyes in Infinitude.

When I allow myself to contemplate it all, there is nothing but awe and wonderment that we even exist here – supposedly an illusion, or someone’s dream, supposedly my own – but I’m not so sure anymore.  Instead, I see “The Mystery” everywhere manifesting ItSelf – continually dancing *within* ItSelf - *as* ItSelf – *as* “just this.”  But we *miss* this Mystery because we focus only on “just this” – the immediate moment, the immediate experience, our little dramas - our eyes only focused on the here and now instead of the “The Mystery” behind the here and now – that which animates the here and now - which is actually the Eternal Now without limits of time and space.  I know some of you will not agree with this J and that’s okay… I am merely pointing to the larger Reality *behind* the present moment – the context for the present moment. Like looking beyond the clouds to the vast sky in which the clouds are suspended, while the clouds come and go…  We are suspended in that vast spaciousness as well – mere clouds that appear and dissipate…

There is only The Infinite – Light years and Light years of Infinity - that we cannot possibly comprehend, and so we create religions, belief systems, philosophies, and mythologies to try to make sense of it.   Our *minds* create finitude, like “here and now”, or “just this”, and “we” become imprisoned in the *belief* that there is only “this” – mis-interpreting the meaning and implications of the word “this.”  What “this” could there ever be besides the Infinity in which we float!?  Aka: the Infinite Dance of Existence that we dwell *within* - not as a separate, individual entity, but as Infinity ItSelf, manifesting as us – as “just this.”  Kind of gives one pause and perspective…

I live in awe and wonderment of THIS – this Mystery.  I want to be ever *aware* of Its Eternal Presence that is dancing here – waiting for us to recognize IT – although IT never was and never can be *separate* from who we are - our Eternal Beingness - or our experience right now… 

I am falling in love with “The Mystery” again and again – like Rumi with Shams of Tabriz; like Hafiz, like Kabir, although I have hardly read these poets  - these ancient Mystics who *knew* “The Mystery” intimately, as Friend, and danced *in* ITs celestial tune – embraced *by* The Rhythm…  Such wonderment is beyond any personal sense of “me…” J

Pardon me while I dance… J

Woman Dancing In The Fire

~

“Enlightenment is not about words and thoughts and concepts.
Enlightenment is always Here.

By ‘Here’ I don’t mean this present space.
Here is somewhere within where mind cannot reach.
Presence is always Here and you are always That.

This here is not the opposite of ‘there.’
This ‘here’ is your Heart.
All the cosmos is but a speck in your Heart.”

Papaji
From: The Truth Is

~

“The joy of being human is uncovering the core
we already are…”

Coleman Barks
The Soul of Rumi

~

"Fold within fold the beloved
drowns in its own being.
The world is drenched with
that drowning."

Rumi

~

“…what is empty turns its face to us
and whispers
’I am not empty. I am open.”

Tomas Transtromer
translation by Robert Bly

~

Top 2 Photos:  This is what I “see” internally when I *say*
 the name “God” now;
not these color specifically, and more “billowy”,
 the energetic sense of fluidity.
I did these with CrayPas oil pastels in 2011

Photo 3: Woman Dancing in the Fire

CrayPas oil pastels – 2012

Job/No-Job Roulette...

Yes folks the wheel has turned again and we are in a “no-job” transition once more - after a mere 5 days! J  I won’t dwell on the drama of the details, except for the following brief paragraph – and then shift the paradigm. J

“They” said they really liked B, that he fit the culture there, and had the technical expertise that they needed.  The first day there he solved two technical problems that they had been unable to solve, and was gaining a reputation as the “go to guy” – but by the 4^th day upper level management (whom he had never met) had made “a business decision” (on paper) and decided they wanted a “credentialed scrum master” to run the team’s multiple daily meetings.  Whoa…  That was never mentioned in the job description, or the interview.  He thought he was hired for his technical expertise… Instead they wanted a *certified* meeting leader…  (A “scrum master” is a term used in the Agile system of project management for conducting meetings.)  He did find out that three people had given notice within the last two weeks, one being the hiring manager who interviewed him, and told him on the outtake on the 5^th day, that this might all be a blessing!  Evidently it was a company in chaos.  She also mentioned that they hired him quickly because they “needed to fill a quota” – what kind of quota she didn’t say – maybe for elderly employees. J lol

And so here we are…

Shifting Paradigms…

 Not surprisingly we were stunned and have been in shock – trying to maintain an “awakened” view of “reality”, recognizing that every experience is an *invitation* to see reality differently.  No matter what the circumstances what is important is to constantly return one’s awareness to the inner space of Beingness, the ever-present Awareness that is our True State – that which is right here *in* this moment.  And - to recognize THAT which is within us that is Aware, untouched and non-reactive to life events….   It’s not even about being in the present moment, as there really is no “present moment” because that is merely a construct of time. (A paradox, I know :) There is only the continuous Flow and ongoing unfolding of the Stream of Life – the Eternal NOW - undivided.  It’s about bringing our awareness to THAT - that which is truly Present in the moment – that which is our Eternal Presence that transcends the “present moment” - THAT which is looking through our eyes, and experiencing our experiences.

All of life events and all of our experiences are just occurring in the Stream of Life; are waves in the greater Ocean of Consciousness; ripples on the Primordial pond of Ultimate Reality.  The mind wants to grab for “answers” and explanations, to make sense of it, to interpret the event and try to give it special meaning and significance, based on our cultural and spiritual influences, but life is just happening, playing itself out.  How that plays out doesn’t really matter to the greater Reality – to Consciousness ItSelf.  The Universe is completely neutral and impartial.  We are not “entitled” to have life work out the way we had envisioned, or “intended” –  just because we have worked hard, or because we believe a certain way, or practice certain practices.  As B said - this “job event” is a mere stick in the stream of Ultimate Reality floating by…  It’s all a drama being played out for the ultimate purpose of our awakening, for remembering that Awakened Eternal Essence within…  And so we move on and refocus, continuing to flow in that Stream of Life – remembering Who/What we really are – beyond job, beyond role, beyond identity…

I know that none of what I just said is “new.” J I am just reiterating what the wisdom sages and contemporary spiritual teachers teach.  I just wasn’t able to recall it at the time.   It emerged once again through my discussions with B over the weekend.   It evolved as I moved through the feelings and stages of shock, denial, anger, and acceptance, and a few glasses of wine. J lol…  And – through time in Silence today – remembering…

~

“You don’t play the game,
the game plays you…

The answer is not always
what you think it is…”

Author Unkown

~

Top Photo: Water dish for birds

zoom blurred

Life As "Sabbatical"...

July 1^st became the beginning of a refocus of life and direction, becoming clear that I must re-discover what is important for the Spirit within to thrive; what is important for this expression of Being to feel enlivened; getting clear on how IT wants to move through life.  I’m still “getting clear.”  It’s an imperative that I can no longer ignore.

The word that came up that day was “Sabbatical”, the theme: “life as sabbatical.”  Just the sense of this enlivens me!  Much like the word “Sanctuary” did back in April.  There is something pulling me towards “sabbatical” as a way of life. It has been all my life actually, and I must pay attention.  It’s like a deep need that *needs* to be met, like the body’s need for air and water.  Without it you shrivel and eventually die.  It’s like knowing that you were born a different gender than your true gender, and you also know you cannot thrive unless you allow the Truth of who you are to be lived.  The same thing is true for the life of Spirit: to live in a way that honors and expresses the Life of Spirit within, that otherwise would shrivel.

This does not mean that I am going to take a sabbatical *from* life, or go on an endless retreat, or live as a saddhu in a cave, as much as those ways of living appeal to me ;)  It is much deeper than that.  It is more being devoted to the Inner Life, contemplatively, creatively, and meditatively in a way that LIFE/Spirit/Being shows me, following the intuitive movement of Life lived as “sabbatical.”  Just as the wave does not move separately *from* the Ocean, but can only move as the Ocean moves *it* - that, to me, is “life as sabbatical.”  Not a sabbatical *from* life, but *within* life - *living* from the Inner Flow of Spirit within, from the Heart of the Infinite Abiding Spirit, or Lotus of the Heart…  I know that some of you are already living this way.

“Sabbatical” as I am using it here, for me, is really an “inner path”, an inner “sabbatical” – following the inner Truth of one’s True Being, one’s Essence, or True Nature – not one’s ego-needs, wants, or desires, or wranglings of the mind in constant philosophizing *about* the Truth.  It is about *living* the deeper inner Reality of Being – intentionally, experientially, consciously, which so far I have been distracted from – by life J, but which still deeply calls to my Heart.  It is a way of living that is vitally *aware* of the Abiding Inner Spirit – continuously.    It is about deepening *into* this Inner Abiding Spirit of Being.  And I have no idea how this will take shape, or what it will look like.

The dilemma is, how to live this “sabbatical life” *without* withdrawing from life to follow this inner Pull of Consciousness, but creating an environment and lifestyle conducive *to* a “sabbatical life” (contemplative life) within life – relieving the burden of daily obligations and external distractions; living the Truth of the Heart according to the Rhythm of the Infinite.  I believe this *is* the Heart “Calling.”  For me this means to deeply experience the Essence of Life, of Being, the Spirit of Life, in a contemplative way; to be meditatively devoted to the Infinite within; to recognize it, to feel it, to *know* it – intimately.  THIS – intimately communing with the Infinite that we *are* in the Eternal Now, and allowing That to live me is - “Sabbatical.”

Photo:  The camera went off by mistake
while “under the hood” J leaving this blur of color.
I digitally enhanced it by adjusting the “levels”
on Adobe Fireworks.
To me it looks like a woman celebrating Life
with arms in the air.
But that is most likely my projection
as I move into a new way of Being
in the world. J

Sanctuary...

In meditation last week the word “sanctuary” arose in answer to a question of “what is needed?” with all the emotional chaos and over stimulation that I have been experiencing in life lately – like the last 3 years J.  And since I won’t be packing up and moving to a monastery any time soon, I wondered how I would “create” this emotional and physical sanctuary that was required for my well-being – not as an escape, but as respite.  As synchronicity would have it, dear hubby was going to be out of the house on Friday and Saturday for several hours each day.  At the time I thought I would use this time to catch up on some cleaning.  Instead, Life required “sanctuary” and I knew it as soon as he left.   As I shut the door behind him, I felt an immediate call to Sacred Silence – the refuge that truly nourishes my Heart. 

I went to my meditation space, lit a candle, burned incense, rang a bell and sat.  Breathed – and settled.  I relaxed into the inner Silence that enlivens this being – my true Sanctuary.

I began to notice body sensations – the remnants of anxiety and depression: heaviness and tightness in the gut, chest and throat; the foggyhead, the aching muscles from left over guardedness.  And vestiges of the mental gymnastics that keep me bound to living on the surface of life.  I felt sadness emerge from the depths again in waves, and acknowledged its presence.  It rose and dissipated with recognition.  In “Sanctuary” everything is allowed and embraced, seen and acknowledged:  fear, anxiety, anger, depression, sadness, even happiness and joy, as the Presence of Silence envelopes it.  In “Sanctuary” they are only waves upon the deeper Ocean of Being.

In the “Sanctuary” of inner Stillness I asked: What is the deeper need?

I listened deeply for the Voice of Silence that always whispers the Truth.

“Sanctuary" was the reply once again.
"Rest in the inner Sanctuary,
aware of everything:

thoughts, feelings, sensations, body;
the pulse of Silence, and
the Rhythm of Life running through it all."

I relaxed deeply, held in the unborn, pre-existent, ever flowing, ever fluid, ongoing Infinite Now - the ground of our being - that comsumes the past, present and future; experiencing the felt sense of Presence once again – “Sanctuary.”

“Sanctuary” is a place of deep nourishment, embraced by pure Presence.  It is a place to incubate, to open to the depths of Reality and and explore the Eternal Now.  It offers an invitation to turn around, to return to the inner cosmos of Being; to collapse the mind, the self, and let go of conceptual reality, experiencing what is Real – the Isness of Being ItSelf – Primoridial Existence  - simply Being.

“Sanctuary” is the internal Stillness of the peaceful contentment of a tranquil heart and mind in tune with the Cosmos.

“We must get back into relation,
vivid and nourishing relation to
the cosmos and the universe…
For the truth is,
we are perishing for lack of fulfillment
of our greater needs.
We are cut off from the great sources
of our inward nourishment and renewal,
sources which flow eternally in the universe.”

DH Lawrence
~*~

Photo:
Indra's Net of Jewels Mandala
digitally radially blurred...
Magic! :)