A "me" story Window

Once upon a time there was a “me”, and apparently there still is:) And this little “me” evidently still likes to run stories…

Sitting at the window the other night, the house next door was dark and quiet – thankfully. Eventually I saw lights come on, and one of the dogs was let out the back door, but not the other. I noticed that this was strange as they are usually let out together. The dog seemed anxious, turning and standing right back at the door, like he really didn’t want to be let out. He paced a little, never leaving the porch and kept returning to the door as if it would magically open. He seemed unsettled. I then became concerned because I thought that something might have happened to his companion. I sensed that the dog was afraid to be out alone – like separation anxiety… I know the feeling :)

I began to feel disturbed, unsettled and anxious myself *thinking* there must be something wrong at the house next door, because of this unusual activity – no lights all evening and now only one dog. I lingered a little longer at the window, to see if the dog would be let in, but all the lights went out and the dog was left on the porch. My heart sank. There are coyotes out there in the dark night! I know, because I hear them yipping and howling while window sitting. In fact this particular dog was bitten by one several years ago right in his backyard. My heart could not bear for him to be out all by himself, vulnerable and alone. Would someone please let me – ah, the dog – in!

The ”me” story was birthed. The me-mind took off, creating this incredible scenario that something had happened to his female companion. Maybe she got injured and was at the vets; maybe she was injured so badly that she had to be put to sleep; maybe she got into something and got sick… My mind went from story to story. There *must* be something “wrong” over there I conjectured. And on it went as I watched out the window. So much for sinking into the Stillness… The me-mind contracted around its story, believing it, which simultaneously led to a contraction in the body that followed the thoughts being generated. The opening of spacious Awareness contracted down - perspective and the wider view were lost as the “me” became preoccupied with the story…

I headed to bed, and expressed my concern to my husband, building my story, creating more contraction. This contraction of the “me” around its story became a visceral experience that led to unease and a sleepless night.

The next morning, when I got up, I still felt the contraction in my gut. I went to the window to see - and there she was! My story had been completely erroneous! I realized I had needlessly created a story based on my assumptions of what I *thought* was true… I had created a mind story out of my own beliefs and projections, from not seeing clearly. I clouded the window of Seeing with my own assumptions and interpretations…

And now for a little window washing…

~*~