Silent Window...

Last night I found myself feeling disappointed during “window sitting” because nothing was “happening” – no great insight, or wisdom – just Silence. As I discovered, sometimes Silence is truly silent… Imagine that! I was hoping for the bells and whistles – a juicy story *about* the Silence. However, as It showed me last night, It cannot be contrived, or demanded – only met, on its own terms… And last night It appeared to be hiding behind a veil – or was that me….

And of course the “Silence” that I speak of is not an “It’ – an object, a persona, a “something” to be objectified, achieved, grasped, owned, something to be made into an experience. It just is… So I’m trying to be conscious of not creating “story” around the experience, and focus on just be-ing there (here) – aware - *allowing* the experience to be what it is each night – learning to *rest* in this silent Stillness that cannot be named – except I do try to name it by using allegories and metaphors. I try to give it substance and meaning. Like this: By Stillness/Silence, with a capital “S”, I mean the inner alive Stillness/Silence that is our true Nature, which of course is also found in Nature, because it is LIFE Itself. This “essence” of Life is pure Aware Stillness/Silence. It is what animates everything and what everything arises in and from – like thought, feeling, story, creativity, mind… They all find their origins in the Aware Stillness/Silence that just IS. They all fold back into that as well… And – that’s also not IT. Like the Tao says: “The Tao that can be named is not the Tao…” It’s just our *idea* of it… It’s my *idea* of Silence/Stillness – and so my *idea* didn’t show up last night. You get the idea. :) After an hour I schlepped to bed feeling a bit like a five year old who didn’t get her bedtime story… I was a bit pouty…

As I’m discovering, my “window sitting experience” sometimes brings a deeper awareness of THE Stillness that permeates everything, that connects everything through the energetic “thread” of Silent Awareness that is aware - and evidently sometimes it doesn’t! Kind of like any meditation - sometimes there are deep, profound insights and sometimes the mind fidgets the whole time… One of my challenges is not to get caught in anticipating an “exquisite experience”, or a consistent experience. The other is to not judge the experience because I couldn’t feel it, or experience it the way “I” wanted to, because there were no “goodies” for my mind to wrap itself around. Sitting with Stillness is not about entertaining the mind- or satisfying the ego’s need for experience. It’s about just being with what IS…

THE Stillness just IS. It is what the stillness of the night exudes, what Nature dances to. It is the Sacred Silence that sings… And so I sit in the window each night to remember this – even when it appears to be absent – which of course I know it isn’t… How could that which IS be absent… I just sometimes don’t see beyond the veil of my own expectations…

I still look forward to coming to the window. It humbles me, makes me aware, and continues to show me a new way of being, even when it is silent: being still and just listening; not projecting my ideas of what the experience is supposed to look or feel like - just allowing the Silence of Life to come to me in its own way – simply sitting…

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“Are we willing to be still, go deep, and listen to the Silence… The eternal is indeed at home within us. Wisdom is not acquired through learning about ideas – but arises from the depth of Silence. Being awake means being here for what is here, not there for what we *hope* to experience… As soon as we stop struggling against…we discover the Stillness that is perpetually present. It is the Timeless dancing *as* time…”

Dorothy Hunt.

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“There is a field beyond ideas….. I’ll meet you there…” Rumi

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Trusting in the simplicity of Stillness

let Life come to you…

Resting in the simplicity of Silence

Life will find you…

MeANderi

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photo - Christine