I actually wrote the first part of this post near the Full Moon in August, penning it in the moonlight on scratch paper while window sitting. It apparently didn’t want to be posted until now.
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I notice that the moonlight on the house next door brightens and fades as clouds pass in front of the moon, like veils that diffuse the light; like moments of awareness and clarity, mixed with moments of “not seeing”, or unawareness, that come and go. The light of Awareness brightens and fades depending on the veils of perception that are in place at any given time.
This rhythm of light and dark is a continuous movement, rising and falling within Awareness, revealing everything in its own time, through its own movement in our lives. It’s a natural Rhythm, a natural movement of Being. Sometimes the bright light of Awareness reveals things hidden in the dark – our shadows. And sometimes these dancing shadows of the self seem to hide, dancing in and out of awareness.
This dance of duality is the natural rhythm of life – the shadow and the light dancing together. One does not oppose, or resist the other. They are both the natural rhythm of living. It’s all a playful dance of light and shadow, as if Awareness is playing, amusing ItSelf with the light and the dark – being neither, being both. It’s an undulating rhythm, not an either/or rhythm. One does not totally occlude the other. Duality is how Being expresses ItSelf in form – but nothing is *essentially* divided. Everything is the one Rhythm – playing and dancing – the formless as form.
Window sitting is like pulling back a curtain on this dance – seeing through the veils – seeing the fabric of Reality as a weave, a blend of many threads – the light and the dark woven together…
Today (9/9/10) I danced with “depression.” Her sister, anger, was there too wanting to cut in. Sometimes I let them dance together and just watched. I allowed “D” in – got a feel for how she dances – letting her lead, instead of trying to push her away, dismissing her as just the mind, just a thought. I decided to dance with her and embrace her. It wasn’t so bad… It didn’t take me to despair. It just took me to awareness – to seeing – to just being with what is – the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions. No clever words or methods were used to deny or change the feeling. It was recognized and felt. It was allowed to play itself out – in full acceptance.
Recognizing Being – our True Nature - the pure Awareness that we are, does not negate our feelings. Life is painful sometimes and the only way through it is to feel it – to dance with the shadows that want to dance. If we do, they offer us their wisdom and their awareness and their light…
I welcome the dance.
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Another related post
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Fun-Qi Art ™ - Christine
I did this picture with CrayPas oil sticks over the weekend
with no intention of what it was to look like,
or connected to any particular blog idea.
My husband came into the room and said: “That looks like a shadow dancing.”
Out of the mouths of “babes” :)
Dancing with depression is courageous. "D" is not always willing to be in step. :-) And then to embrace it. wow! The only way out is through. Although we'd like to believe the only way through is out... ;-)
ReplyDeleteHi Genju ~ I know, it's tricky sometimes. And I hope I didn't make it sound too simplistic. It's not like it's "clinical depression." But it does seem like when the "darker" feelings are allowed to be *felt* they seem to "unwind" and lose their power over us - and not necessarily in one meeting. So I keep dancing :) The dance seems better than resistance or indulgence and entanglement...
ReplyDeleteYour artwork reminded me of the Waters Christine that wash over us and bring us relief in one form or another...
ReplyDeleteHow astute of your husband! I would say he knows you very well!
Beautiful Sharing...Beautiful You!
Hey Akasa ~ Ah, interesting observation, especially with your connection to Water and your prayers to help heal the waters of the Earth...
ReplyDeleteInteresting that my husband saw a "shadow" and I saw a side view of a hand holding a globe :) I love working with Cray-Pas because in the creative process something always emerges that is not intended... Kind of like life... :)