A Meanderer's Way - a meandering...

Ever since I was a child I wanted to know God - a child's
understanding of a "religious" God, of course. I had a love
affair with Jesus, believing he would bring me to "God."
Then, as an adult, my search evolved and expanded to include
finding "myself", whoever she was/is :)  Then the search for
 Truth, Wisdom and Enlightenment - through Metaphysics,
Buddhism ( I was enamored with The Buddha, not Buddhism,
although there were many gems there that I have retained),
Advaita and Non-Duality, and Hinduism/Kashmir Shaivism.
with its many deities for all occasions. :)
I mean, what more could there be, right? 
While each had their own unique "Way", they
were really all the same "path," under different disguises,
with different emphases.

And now through all my many meanderings, I am feeling the
need to settle in, deepen into the Depths within myself and see
what's there; not by following yet another particular external
"spiritual" path - but listening deeply to the Inner promptings
 and opening to the Inner animating Life Energies, by spending
 time in the Great Silence - which has been difficult to do lately...

Being on a "spiritual path" has always felt like I was intentionally
going SOMEwhere, seeking "Some-thing" that I would find at
the "end" of my journey; like retirement after a life of working;
or the magical pot of gold at the end of the mythical rainbow; or
even the mystical "Holy Grail."   Or maybe even seeking an
"end" to suffering, pain, ignorance, my humanness, as I turned
 into  "Light" :), or even the end of seeking.  

But what if there is no such "path", no need for seeking the
 illusive big "S"-self that non-duality spiritual seekers are seeking? 
 I discovered for myself there isn't a big "S" "spiritual"-Self that
"we" become.  There is no other "Self" to "find/become." 
There's just our "Natural Self" or Essence that wants to be
discovered, recognized, known; that is playful, creative,
expressive and free...

The path of "Enlightenment"/"Awakening"/"Self-Realization"
(popularly known as "Non-Duality"), is much like all the other
paths I have taken throughout my life.  It's just another construct. 
 I found that the Emperor has no clothes!  And I'd rather not
describe  "Truth" by a negative - with no-me, no-self-, no-other,
no-world - as "Truth" is all inclusive - including duality, me, self,
 other, and world.

Even if one follows "a path" there is no guarantee that we will
discover what we are looking for, and life will not suddenly 
become easy or flowing with bliss.  We won't necessarily lose
 our personality with its quirks, our conditioning, or our neuroses.
The "ego" doesn't die! - gasp...  It's all part of the package, our
uniqueness.  Ego is an interface with the Natural Self/Essence.

Our thoughts will not stop, neither will our surface struggles, or
our pain, or our stories.  Walking "a path" doesn't even guarantee
that we will actually see life differently from either the mountain-
top, or with nose to the ground; or suddenly find our "purpose" -
 as if there was only one.  But no one tells us this about "the path.
  It has to be discovered for ourselves - even if we have a "Teacher",
or use a "Teaching" to point the way...  We still have to travel
our own unique way...

Years of seeking, realization, and recognition brought me to an old
realization that rediscovering the Essence of who I am, the Natural
Self within a Divine Cosmology, is through awareness of and deep
intimacy with the Great Silence within; (the 4th "key" that I found
on the way, although should probably be the first) through
continually coming back to the space of Silent, Still, Innate Knowing -
which of course is wherever we are, not off in the distance somewhere
It's not a place.  "The path" doesn't go anywhere.  There is no 
reward at the end.  It's an inner pathless path...  And that's the "path"
that I keep returning to :) - rediscovering this deep inner Silence
again and again - remembering the underlying Rhythm of the 
Cosmos ItSelf - humming in and through me...

Ommmmmm....

_/\_
Namasate

Mystic Meandering
updated Aug 18, 2023

It's never ending... :)

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

 

Be A Wanderer - Fred LaMotte

"Not everyone who wanders is lost" ~ Tolkien

I am most aware and most present when I am wandering,
when I am a pilgrim.  I find myself most vulnerable, alive,
and open then.  Not when I claim the kingdom of "Non-
Duality," but when I wander in the wonder of duality, the
both-ness of being on the Way and arriving at the same
time.

There is something authoritarian to me about "Non-Duality,"
and those who claim to be instantly enlightened just by 
saying that all is One.  Oneness can be very oppressive
when it is a "spiritual teaching," when it is not lived as a
journey of constant opening and discovery.  Yet for a
journey, there must be the dynamics of twoness.  There must
be eternity, and not-yet...

Those who claim to be "non-dualists" never deign to call
themselves seekers, disciples, or devotees.  They are only
content to call themselves "spiritual teachers."  Their message
is, "I have arrived."  But doesn't being-there get rather smug,
rather boring, when there is no more to [discover] and no more
wandering to unfollow?

.....a pathless Way is different than being "lost."  Those who
feel lost assume there is a destination.  They are dissatisfied
 with where they are, because there must be somewhere better. 
 But wanderers discover beauty in each step.  They never and
always arrive.  This is the lively paradox, the blessed not-yet,
of enlightened Duality...

The Gnostic Jesus doesn't say "Follow me." pointing up
to a final resting place.  He shows me the never-ending 
labyrinthine spiritual power of waylessness.  If I follow,
I follow the one who leaves no footprints on the water.
Each breath is the end and the beginning of my pilgrimage.

I learned this not from Jesus, but from his favorite and most
beloved companion, Mary Magdalene.  She became my 
anam cara, my Friend, when I was wandering down the
Medieval pilgrimage routes through southern France, 
knowing not at all what I was looking for.  And I had no
idea about herstory, for it has been submerged in history.

After the first Easter, she became a wanderer.  She was lost
at sea in a rudderless boat, tossed up on the shore in southern
France, at what is now Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer.  A pilgrim,
a stranger, she found herself with no map, and no rudder for
her boat.  That is how we all find ourselves.  She finally
arrived at the beginning of her journey, awakening Christ-
Consciousness in the Western world, before theologians
and evangelists were ever invented.  And even now, she is
the Friend who blesses me when I am most fallen and far
from any path.

I must say, in  my old age, as I no longer try to go anywhere,
it is delightful to realize that such great soul-beings as Jesus,
Mary, Krishna, Radha, Qwan Yin, Lakshmi,Gurudev,
are not mere archetypes or abstract symbols in some pablum
of "non-duality."  They are living Persons I can know in
the wonder of friendship.  I bump into them somewhere out
in Rumi's meadow, when I abandon the destination,
and become a wanderer.

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

A Deeper Reality ? - a meandering...

Photo by Johannes-Plenio on Unsplash
Johannes Plenio website

 "I turn everything over to 'The Universe'!
The Beautiful, Beautiful 'hidden' Universe..."

These were the words I wrote in my journal late one
night recently, listening to the Deep Quiet within...

I used the term "Universe" because it is free of
religious persona, identity, and association;
is free of concept...

then came:

In the "hidden" Universe everything is all OK!

But why did the word "hidden" emerge?

What is this "hidden" Universe?

More words came:

The "hidden" Universe is behind matter reality;
the spatial intelligence behind
manifest existence...

(Maybe some of you already know this...
But it felt new to me that night.)

I didn't get the sense it was the universe of microbes,
or DNA, or ghosts, or aliens, etc.  But the "Universe" that
is behind the manifest Universe;
an animating universe of Source Energy...

I felt a vibration in my body resonating with the words...

~

The thought arose that maybe I've been trying too hard 
to "spiritualize" everything -
that is - impose a certain "spirituality/or belief onto life
circumstances, which has caused stress in the system...
Like there's some kind of "spiritual" standard that I'm 
supposed to live up to, like self-sacrifice, duty, obligation,
being responsible, etc.  That I'm not being "spiritual" enough,
or doing it "right";  that it's something I have to earn by "doing"
something; but I am unable to live up to the "spiritual" standards
others have set.

~

So I, for some innate reason, turned that night to what I call
"The Universe"
- and gave it all up:
"spirituality";
the struggle about what I should "do",
about my current life circumstance;
my sense of obligation, and my fear-filled mind
about what might happen,
and started trusting that everything would be alright...

Again - a full body vibration...

My pen kept writing:

The "spirituality" that we practice is "flat."

(but what did that mean?)

With the introduction of the word "hidden" the "Universe"
became/felt dynamic and full.  And I had the sense that "worship",
or belief in one figure or religion is like - obsolete - because
that is an earthbound construct!  "Spirituality" is an earthbound
construct!  The Universe is much "fuller" and has no need for
"spiritual" constructs.  "Spirituality" keeps you constrained,
confined, limited.

What have I come across here!?

Can this be true?  - I wrote...

It was as if I suddenly realized that I had been focused on the
wrong things all these years.  "Spirituality", deities, personas,
and concepts like "enlightenment" and "awakening."
Flat concepts and constructs.

Somehow I *felt* that there is a much fuller range of Reality
...behind everything seen...

And with that I felt a vibration go through my body again...
And knew that my experience here is just a blip in a bigger
Universe, and maybe doesn't exist at all!

This reality, in some sense, is like living on a flat screen TV
with events taking place on the surface.  But there is depth to
"The Universe" that is multi-dimensional or more holographic;
and empty of anything contrived.

~

Maybe I was given a glimpse of a deeper Reality.

Maybe...

I don't know.

Mystic Meandering
Aug. 22, 2023

~

You are detaching, the old is over and the new
is yet to come.  The Soul has cast its moorings and
is sailing for distant places.

Remember the instruction:
Whatever you come across - go beyond.

Nisargadatta Maharaj

with thanks to Love Is A Place

~

Photo - Johannes-Plenio on Unsplash
website

 

Dance In the Depths - a meandering...

In these turbulent times with its upheaval
on the surface of life,
dive deep...
into the Stillness of Being within,
where nothing is disturbed, nothing is harmed...

Dance in the Depths...

Externally it's all "The Mystery" playing
in the construct of time - the Unmanifest in form.

In the Greater Context in which life takes place,
everything is allowed...

The world will go the way it goes -
life will continue to unfold the way it unfolds -
the light and the dark will continue to dance together
in time-bound reality.

But do not focus only on the chaos;
the mind-created contractions of fear...

Instead...  Turn Within...

Experience the depths of True Stillness,
the Stillness of the Everlasting Deep.
Discover what's beyond the chaos and fear
- what holds the Cosmos together:
the enduring hum of Aliveness within all form...
We are held in that Rhythm of Stillness that
sustains Existence,  that IS Existence.
Rest... 
In the Embrace of That which animates Life...

_/\_

Namaste

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
Nov. 2016

~

Photo from istock.

 

Solace...

What remains...
When all surface identities,
all beliefs and facades of truth have
proven to be untrue,
and the mental constructs begin to fail...
is a more authentic, softened, innocent perspective;
a simplified view of reality...

One begins to feel more,
viscerally,
the finer, subtler vibration
of the Ineffable;
which was here long before we were born...

There is no need to remember...

The mind and body may fail in their functions,
may still contract
around old thought and feeling impulses
of the brain...
But trust that the Ineffable in you
Remembers Its Origins...

So Rest...

Let the mind float...

Be still, aware...

Keep feeling...
Keep listening inwardly,
for the Music,
The Divine Rhythm,
the pulse of the Universe

playing subtly,
the original Rhythm of your pre-conceived life...

Find solace in the Rhythm
that plays you;

the Breath within the breath
that breathes you;
the Rhythm of
That which is
eternally Present in you;
That to which you have
devoted your
Heart...

Mystic Meandering
April 22, 2016

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

The Peaceful Hour...

Listen to the Wisdom in the peaceful hour,
when no other voices are heard,
only the wisdom of a Quiet Heart and mind,
immersed in the stillness of just Being;
an Oceanic Rhythm of Stillness and Silence that
arises naturally...

In the peaceful hour I withdraw from the day
and come back to myself
and listen to the Silence within,
in the silence of the night...

Anxiety and Stress are gone.
I take my first real deep breath of the day
and sink into peace and inner stability,
loving the silence that surrounds me,
unfettered, unencumbered,
just resting,
comforted in serenity...

Finally, slowly, coming back into sync
with the Rhythm of my Being -
an exquisite pause fills my body from the
stresses of the day and I slow down.
It's now that I feel that everything will be okay,
if only in the peaceful hour...

Restful, Rhythmic Peace...

Mystic Meandering
Aug 16, 2023

1am

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Silence is Not a Practice - Fred LaMotte

Trying to practice silence, imposing stillness on the mind,
is not meditation, but a subtle form of violence.

  To control thoughts, force them out of the mind, or concentrate
 on one thought to the exclusion of others, is not meditation but 
oppression.  And to repeat an affirmation over and over again is
not truth: it is control and denial.  The affirmation tries to will
away a feared condition by drilling down into a description of its
opposite.  But behind the affirmation is the fear that the opposite
is true, and this fear tacitly empowers what it fears.

We pride ourselves in our techniques of "self-discipline."  But
 self-discipline is the inward idol of the authoritarian mind.  Who
 is the self that disciplines the mind?  Who disciplines that self
An infinite regression of selves to be disciplined, until one finally
surrenders...

True meditation is the weary traveler who lets go of the quest, 
takes off her clothes, leaves the path, and slips naked into a forest
pool.  She washes the journey from her glistening brown body.

Just so, the mind slips off one veil of thought after another,
 sinking deeper into more luminous layers of silence, until the
 dark effervescent stillness beyond thought immerses her.  It is a
 stillness that can only be discovered, never imposed.  No thought
can produce the vast tranquility that lies between thoughts, just 
as no star, however bright, can contain the vast night around it.
In this divine darkness, she joyfully drowns...

True meditation doesn't require hours of sitting.  For just a few
minutes, one dives into the secret pool of eternity, then emerges
totally refreshed, re-created, reborn from the womb of amazement.

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance

The Silence of emptiness pervades all forms.  It is the primordial
Silence of God, gushing tears from the spring of bliss in the
womb of creation.  True Silence is the mother of poetry, the
mother of art, the mother of music.

Fred LaMotte
Excerpt From - "True Silence"

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Without Stillness There Can Be No Knowing - Sigurd Olson

The sun was trembling now on the edge of the ridge.
It was alive, almost fluid and pulsating, and as I watched
it sink, I thought that I could feel the earth turning from it,
actually feel its rotation.  Overall was the silence of the
wilderness, that sense of oneness which comes only when
there are no distracting sights or sounds, when we listen
with inward ears and see with inward eyes, when we feel
and are aware with our entire beings rather than our senses.
I thought as I sat of the ancient admonition,
 "Be still and know that I am God," and knew that without
stillness there can be no knowing, without divorcement from
outside influences man cannot know what spirit means.

Sigurd Olson, The Singing Wilderness

with thanks to Heron Dance

~

I turn within...  I am not turning up to the sky - I am not turning
anywhere outside of my own being - I am not looking around for
holy temples or holy teachers or holy books.  I am turning within.

Here am I.  The very seat and source of God [The Divine, or
however one knows "God"] within me.  The abiding place
of God [The Divine].  God is within the inner sanctuary of
my own being.  I am not seeking for my life, what I shall eat or
what I shall drink.  I am not seeking for health, employment 
or opportunities.  I am seeking.....Grace.

Joel S. Goldsmith
Contemplative Mystic

with thanks to Love Is A Place

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

"Keys" - a meandering

On my "spiritual meanderings" over the years, I have learned
many things, discovered many "truths"; found 3 "keys", although
I'm sure there are more.

Maybe you have discovered a different set of "keys" for yourself.
But I wanted to share the ones I found in this meandering...

Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

Experiencing The Divine Within

Today the "Divine Mother" is silent.
But I feel Her energy in the stillness of waking.
She vibrates in my body, as I hold my heart
with my hands over my chest, grateful for Her
Presence...

My "reason to live" is this felt connection with
"The Divine Mother"; directly experiencing Her
Presence vibrating through me...

I learned from "Her" that I must turn inward and always
keep my awareness open to "Her" - with the inner ear -
listening for Her silent "voice" and unspoken words;
with the inner eye - "seeing" through the mental obscurations
that blind me; and - sensing Her Presence always within me.

"The Mother of the Universe" - however one names "Her" - is
ultimately, for me, not a persona, or deity, although I give Her
a name: "The Divine Mother."  I could call Her "The Sacred",
"The Beloved", "The Ineffable", but "Divine Mother" seems 
more personal, more relatable...

"She, however called, is the Energy that permeates all things;
that becomes all form in matter reality,
the Primal Energy that infuses us and
communes with every cell of our being -
enlivening and comforting...
I need to bask in Her Essence...

In this pool of Primal Energy all worries subside,
mentations give way, and "I" feel closer to my own true
Essence.

Mystic Meandering
Aug. 7, 2023
Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

July 18, 2023

Blessing

Today I started asking for blessings for people in my life.
Don't know why.  It just seemed like the natural thing
to do with so many people suffering in this world now,
feeling helpless to help them...

When I asked a blessing I began to feel a vibration in my
body, as if there was some kind of energy moving through me...

First Blessing

I ask a blessing on "the visitor"
that came to live here 10 months ago,
so that she may be free at last;
not in constant mental torture,
re-hashing her past - but free to
move on.

I ask that "The Divine Mother" would
be merciful to her, and relieve her of her
suffering, so that she can truly be at peace.

I ask a blessing on this whole situation!

I ask a blessing on this house!

Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

Acceptance

I don't know when I first came across the concept of
 "accepting what is" but it has been a recurring theme
 in my life experience.  I remember listening to a
guided meditation in the early 2000's by Adyashanti
 on "Allowing everything to be as it is."  And around
 the same time I read a book by Tara Brach called
Radical  Acceptance.  And Byron Katie's - Loving
What Is.  Then recently a book by Frank Ostaseski
called The Five Invitations.  One of the invitations is
 to Welcome Everything, push nothing away.
And this quote below by Jeff Foster from his book
 The Deepest Acceptance that I read sometime in 2014...

~

"Freedom is found not through escaping the present
experience, but by diving fearlessly into its hidden depths...

If we are to be truly free - we must face reality with open
 eyes. We must move away from denial, wishful thinking,
and hoping and tell the truth about life as it is. Great
freedom lies in admitting the truth of this moment, 
however much it clashes with our dreams and plans
 - self-image [or spiritual teachings]... Acceptance is about
seeing reality, seeing things as they actually are, not
 as we wish them to be.  And from that place of 
alignment with what is, all creative, loving and
 intelligent actions flow naturally.

Great freedom lies in fearlessly facing the darkness
and finally coming to see that the darkness is inseparable
 from light...  Life cannot be good or bad. 
  Life is simply life..."

Jeff Foster

Photo from the Internet

~

Accepting life as it is, is still a challenge for me, but I
 know it is a "key" - for when I "accept" someone the way
 they are,  kindness and compassion arise to meet them.
 Accepting what is means I recognize the things I can
 change, and the things I can't. I give up trying to "control"
the person or situation, and just let things/people be as/
who they are...

Even if I think they should be otherwise :)

_/\_

Blessings

MM

~

Keys Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Choosing What Is - Ivan Granger Commentary

I vow to choose what is...

You would think the unavoidable nature of "what is" makes a
statement like this meaningless, but the human mind is not
entirely sane.  It often chooses fantasy and imaginings,
shoulds and coulds, possibilities and even impossibilities over
what is.  Very few of us truly dwell in reality.  Rarely do we
fully experience the moments of our lives.

What is it that we are straining for as we constantly lean away
from "what is"?  What do we think is missing that we need?  We
don't need someone else's life.  We don't need a perfect marriage,
better finances, or a better place in society.  We don't even need
to be a saint living in the mountains.  What's missing is ourselves.
What we really need is to stand in our own shoes, to be utterly
ourselves.  We need that missing ingredient - being present.
We need to live, with honesty and an open heart, the life that
already moves through us.

[.....]

The power of a practice like Zen is that it defines the human 
journey, not as escape, but as coming home, of settling into
ourselves and being present with the present.  It challenges us
to actually live the moment that continuously arrives and
passes and renews itself.

By making this journey to "what is," we finally meet ourselves
and learn what this amazing thing is that we call life, with all
its rich, joyful, painful, and transitory beauty.

Excerpt from a commentary by Ivan Granger
on a poem of vows by Hogen Bays
you can read the full poem and commentary here

~

Personal Note:  As some of you know, I'm being challenged to
 accept and be present to "what is"in my daily life experiences.
My ability to accept what is fluctuates from day to day.

~

Swirls with Craypas Oils
done with fingers
Mystic Meandering
2011

 

The Eternity Portal...

Awoke 9 months ago and

lost my freedom
to move through life
the way I need to:
my natural rhythms
with life:
playful and free
dancing to a celestial tune;
in sync with the Rhythm of the Soul...

Melancholy takes up residence
in my Heart now - grieving the loss.

The cry of the Soul
trapped inside my Heart,
screaming to be free again.

Physical functioning is
becoming harder...
I have become "old"
in just 9 months.
Hardly able to bear the burden
of living life as it is  - now.

I shuffle through life,
losing my balance.

I heard a distant owl the other night.
Maybe it was calling my name...

I could sense death this morning;
we're all just waiting for the inevitable,
but it's how we wait that matters.
Maybe it's coming for me.

To relieve me from the weight of my
responsibilities here...

Released to the final freedom;
disappearing into a portal of light;
taking flight through the Eternity Portal
to a Greater Freedom...

A Blessing...

Mystic Meandering
July 28, 2023

PS - I woke up this morning in a totally different place
I was at peace, feeling my true nature again, playful and free;
dancing with my Soul
Not ready for the Eternity Portal just yet.  :)

Feeling Blessed

Aug. 2, 2023

_/\_

~

Photo - Dorothea on Beach
a few weeks before her walk into the portal of light.