Just Walk It - a meandering...

Some people's nature is made for Silence and Solitude,
others - not...

I crave it...

that is - my body and soul crave it...

I am often overwhelmed by the stimulation
of daily living, being pulled by the externals,
needing to turn to the Inner Life...

There are many ways of accessing our "Inner Being"/Essence,
or "The Divine", or "Source" - however one calls it;
through being out in nature, thru Dance, or writing Poetry,
in Art, or Music, and Meditation; however we are naturally
inclined.  It's an individual thing and "The Divine"/Source/Life
meets us where we are, *as* we are...

There are no "shoulds" or "have to's" in intimacy with
"The Inner Silence."
You don't have to regurgitate what you have been taught
was the "truth"; what you are conditioned to *believe*
as an established way of "believing" - a dogma...

Maybe we're just a dramatization/expression of
"Consciousness", or "The Source", or "The Ineffable";
Unique waves on the Ocean of Awareness.

No one person, religion, spirituality, philosophy or
institution *has* the "answer"...

The Real Source of "truth" is within, and transcends all
beliefs, unencumbered by religion, language, history, or culture...

Life unfolds differently for all of us.
And maybe it "happens" according to the way we "believe" -
who knows...

Go the way you feel pulled/called to go,
the path will change as needed.

Whatever your walk of Life,
whatever your nature,
whatever your path,
just walk it...

Mystic Meandering
March 15, 2024

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Openness - Frank Ostaseski

Openness.....is a willingness to look into what arises,
to work with it, and relate to it with curiosity.

Openness doesn't reject or get attached to a particular
experience or view.  It is about allowing experience to
unfold, having tolerance of the unknown, letting go of
expectations.

Welcoming what is, as it is, we move toward reality.
We may not like or agree with all that we encounter.
However, when we argue with reality we suffer.
We waste our energy and exhaust ourselves with the
insistence that life be otherwise.  We often have little
control over the external circumstances of our own lives.
However, we have a great deal of choice about how we
relate to and learn from the cards life deals us.  We build
resilience by allowing ourselves to experience what we
are feeling in any given situation, whether good or bad.
Until we come to accept life with all its madness and
inspiration, we feel cut off, separate and isolated.

Acceptance is not resignation.  It is an opening - to
a skillful response to life.

Opening allows experiences to enter and allow for our
responses to emerge and be expressed...

Frank Ostaseski

from The Five Invitations

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

The Thread - William Stafford

There's a thread you follow.  It goes among
things that change.  But it doesn't change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can't get lost.

Tragedies happen, people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you can do to stop time's unfolding.
You don't ever let go of the thread.

William Stafford
from - The Way It Is, 1998

William Stafford's journey with words began most
mornings before sunrise.  This simple poem was
written 26 days before he passed.

One of his students, the poet Naomi Shihab Nye wrote:
"In our time there has been no poet who revived human
hearts and spirits more convincingly than William Stafford.
There has been no one who gave more courage to a
journey with words, and silence, and an awakened life."

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - from the Internet
This is an actual bridge in Vietnam
color digitally altered

The Blessing of The Deer - Jane Hirshfield

As the house of a person
in age sometimes grows cluttered
with what is
too loved or too heavy to part with,
the heart may grow cluttered.

And still the house will be emptied,
and still the heart.

As the thoughts of a person
in age sometimes grow sparer,
like a great cleanness come into a room,
the soul may grow sparer;
one sparrow song carves it completely.
And still the room is full,
and still the heart.

Empty and filled,
like the curling half-light of morning,
in which everything is still possible...

Filled and empty,
like the curling half-light of evening,
in which everything now is finished...

Beloved, what can be, what was,
will be taken away from us.

I have disappointed.
I am sorry.  I knew no better.

[.....]

This morning, out the window,
the deer stood like a blessing, then vanished.

Jane Hirshfield
Original title: "Standing Deer"
from The Lives of the Heart

Thanks to - The Beauty We Love

A Passing Show - Etty Hillesum

Understand that all outer appearances are a passing show...

People sometimes say: "you must try to make the best of things."
I find this such a feeble thing to say.
Everywhere things are both good and very bad at the same time.
The two are in balance, everywhere and always.  I never have
the feeling that I have got to make the best of things.
Everything is fine just as it is.
Every situation, however miserable, is complete in itself
and contains the good as well as the bad...
Things come and go in a deeper rhythm, and people must
learn to listen...

Etty Hillesum
Jewish Mystic of the Holocaust
From: Letters from Westerbork
Aug 1943

Etty died in Auschwitz Nov. 30, 1943
at the age of 29

~

"All shall be well, and all shall be well,
and every kind of thing shall be well."

Julian of Norwich
Christian Mystic
1342-1416

Trajectory of Life - Richard Wehrman

He was surprised
to see the gray clouds,
for the sunrise was clear
with blue sky, and he
assumed, as he always had,
that the sky moved
as the sun moved, east
to west, yet here the clouds
came, traveling west to
east, and he thought of
the trajectory he imagined
his life took, of birth
to death, infancy to old age,
and he wondered if he
had missed something,
if the winds moved
differently than he supposed,
if death also traveled
toward life, if there were
more currents than he
could imagine; and if
imagining itself, setting
a distinct course, one he
planned in advance, kept
him from seeing, if he
were at this moment
actually growing younger,
at the same time he grew
older; if he was in fact
moving in ways he could
barely sense, into another
life, into other worlds.

Richard Wehrman
From: Being Here
original title: Traveling

Life is a Dynamic Expression - Darryl Bailey

Life is a moving, shifting, dancing event...
and we are part of that movement.
Life will play out the way it plays out,
it's all just happening.
Life is a dynamic function, doing what it does.
Just acknowledge the movement, the event;
the Flow of Life ItSelf...

Everything in existence is a legitimate expression of Existence.

We are the legitimate expression of Life, of Existence,
of this great mysterious happening.
just as we are...
Each different and unique in our expression.

When we see that, we can rest...

Acknowledge the wild, exotic expression that you are,
in your uniqueness.

Darryl Bailey

Excerpt from video talk:
Challenging the Fantasies

photo image via Stillness Speaks

~~

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when
one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life,
when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within
oneself?  If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes
truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding
and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such
paradox.  One must live in the middle of contradiction, because
if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse.
There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing
questions.  You continue to live them out, making your life a
worthy expression of leaning into the light...

Barry Lopez
From: Arctic Dreams

via: Beyond the Fields We Know

I learn by going where I have to go - Roethke

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.

I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling.  What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground!  I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady.  I should know.
What falls away is always.  And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

Theodore Roethke

Original title: "The Waking"

~

It is Grace taking you where you must go...
It is Grace giving you what you need...
Grace is a gift...

Papaji

~

Note:  In one analysis of Roethke's poem,
it suggests another version,
changing the repetitive line:
"I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow", to
"I live to die, and take my living slow..."
It is ultimately a poem of life and death,
while embracing the totality of life experience
while we are here...

I rather like that interpretation...

~

photo: me on path
color digitally inverted

The Timeless Moment - Bodhipaksa & Hesse

Time was no longer a path with the past behind me
and the future before me, as we commonly conceive of it.
Instead there was a sense of an eternally unfolding present moment.

Rather than time being a journey along a linear path, change
 appeared to be mandala-like.  It seemed to be like a flower
 seen from above, endlessly unfolding from within,
 or like a kaleidoscope's image forever rearranging itself.

It struck me as highly misleading to think in terms of there being a
 past behind us and a future ahead of us.  Instead there was only
 this one present moment, eternally unfolding, according to its
 nature. I found myself in an eternal, timeless present...

Bodhipaksa - Living As A River

via: Markings

"I would like to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise
of its own unfolding"
John O'Donohue

~

Have you learned that secret from the river;
that there is no such thing as time?
That the river is everywhere at the same time,
at the source, at the current, in the ocean, and
in the mountains,

 everywhere...

And that the present only exists for it,
not the shadow of the past, nor the shadow of the future.

Herman Hesse
Siddartha

via: Love Is A Place

~

Top Photo: Mandala art digitally altered
2nd Photo: An Aurora Borealis in Yellow Knife, Canada
 - a "river" in the sky :)
Sent to us by a friend

Ebb and Flow - Ivan Granger

When the face of Ever-Presence is known,
all concreteness spontaneously fades away...
Kelsang Gyatso

The vivid appearance of the external world can become a trap
for the distracted mind.  We can get caught in constant reaction,
running after pleasure, running from pain.

In the truly natural state, awareness is at rest, perceiving without
tension, encountering reality without an overlay of stories,
without attraction or repulsion.
In that Pure Awareness, life becomes a flow of events and
interactions, not pushed by the self-will of likes and dislikes.

We are simply as we are...
Events simply unfold...

...life experience; its waning and waxing is simply its natural flow.

Ivan Granger
Poetry Chaikhana

~*~

Our lives are like rivers.
Eventually they go where they must,
not where we want
them to...

From the movie - "Empire Falls"

The Unseen Current - Ivan Granger

We have this idea…..that the strong individual must aggressively forge his or her path through life; that it is a fight that only the strong will succeed, and unhappiness is a sign of weakness and inaction.  It is the idea that fulfillment comes through force of will. [But] if we are pushing for a life that is not ours, and feeling frustration because it is not happening, that is a sign that we are still serving the [personal will.].

Most of us imagine that we have to somehow *do* life.  [But] life itself is not something we do or make for ourselves.  It flows through us and is not of our making. The soul has a path that naturally unfolds as we move through life.  When we understand life this way, there is an immense sense of relief - and rest.  …..what is required is not…..willpower, not some total life revolution, but simply…..to feel the deep currents flowing through our lives, and then to fully live the life that naturally emerges....  In this way, we stop obstructing divine will with our endless frustrated efforts and, instead, we allow ourselves to become [an] expression of that heavenly flow that has always been eager to pour through us.  All we really need do is ride the great current flowing through us unseen...

Ivan Granger
Poetry Chaikhana

Graced With Gratitude...

Gratitude arises
like a warm flame
in the Heart;
a flame that
comes alive
on its own
from within

Overtaking me by surprise…

It’s a gratitude of
unknown origin -
not contrived,
or cultivated,
but
deeply felt in the
core of my Being;
only awareness is
needed….

A gratitude
not for being alive,
but for Aliveness ItSelf,
for the Aliveness that
is Life;
that dances and sings
the Cosmos
into being;
that imbues existence
with LIFE!

For the color and movement
of life being lived
in every minute detail;
for the opening and
unfoldment of life
that has its own
course,
its own
way,
unfolding Itself in
total freedom of Being

I am truly graced with Gratitude -
beyond words…


Mystic Meandering
Meditative writings
October 2015

~

Photo: street light through ice on window
2011

"Canyon Spirits" - The Evolution of a Painting...

I started this painting nearly a year ago in a moment of frustration, thus the red color and hash marks all over the place, painting in circles.  I am an intuitive painter, so I do not have an “intention” for the painting when I start.  I like to just see what evolves and what emerges out of it… Painting this way is a “practice” in letting go, of not having expectations – hopefully J - in not being “in control” of where it goes; like life actually – not being “in control” of life, but allowing oneself to be open and vulnerable to how it unfolds.  It’s very challenging actually to live that way – as well as to paint that way…  There can be lots of frustration…  It originaly looked like this (below) and sat like this on the easel for 7-8 months.

Every time I looked at it I kept seeing the face of a Tiger, and wondered how I could make it *look* like a Tiger, not having the trained artistic experience or skill to do that.  (The Tiger is no longer apparent, as other things emerged.)  When I started painting again in May/June I was still trying to figure out how to make it look like the Tiger that I saw, thus the single painted in eye, as that is what my mind saw. 

And then a “voice” said: keep looking, look deeper.  I wasn’t hearing things, it was the voice of my husband actually, as I discussed my frustration with not being able to create what I saw in my head.  He said – don’t stay fixated on your idea of what it is supposed to look like, but keep looking and see what else is there.  Something we need to do in life as well – look deeper, beyond the surface, and see what is really there.  So I kept looking.  And suddenly *many* different faces started emerging!  (see close-up below). Initially I saw what looked like the outline of a man’s face in a window with closed eyes, and nose, (near the middle), blended into another partial face slightly under the first one.  A woman’s silhouette in a window appeared on the right, up against what appeared to be two back to back “caricature” profiles, with a flat hat.  And then an owl appeared on the far left, and blended into what looked like a coyote face with mouth open, which blended in with the man’s face, and so on…  There’s even a little fox face tucked in there somewhere… And some teepees too :)

 The whole painting took on a different look, a different feel.  It had transformed itself.  It became a terracotta desert canyon against a night sky – and another realm beyond.  Totally unintentional…  Amazing. 

In the lower right hand corner there appeared to be a grouping of hash marks standing around what appeared to be the glow of a hidden fire…  To me they were Native peoples standing around a fire as smoke rose into the canyon and beyond, where a Raven glides through firey skies…

In the lower left hand corner there was the clear outline of yet another fire, with two “figures” nearby.

And so goes the story and evolution of a painting that took on a life of its own, inviting me to look more deeply… Like life…

Goosey Goslings ~ ~ ~

Feeling a little lack-luster this week, I decided to cross the bridge today at a local park to see if the gardens were in bloom, only to find this lovely surprise - no flourishing gardens – but Canadian Geese and their goslings!  

Truly, we live with mysteries
 too marvelous to be understood.

How grass can be nourishing in the
mouths of lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
in allegiance with gravity
while we ourselves dream of rising.

How people come
from delight
or the scars of damage,
to the comfort of
a poem…

Let me keep my distance,
always,
from those who
think they have the answers.

Let me keep company,
always,
with those who say -
”Look”
and laugh in astonishment,
and bow…

Mary Oliver
from Evidence

When we are free of mental concepts
and our senses are awake,
the sounds, smells, images,
and vibrations we experience
connect us with all life…

It is not my aliveness
but simply
life…
unfolding and intense,
mysterious and beautiful.

By meeting the changing dance
with radical acceptance

we discover our intrinsic
belonging
to the whole…

Tara Brach
from: The Buddha Is Still Teaching
by Jack Kornfield

In Preparation...

I received an article in the Non-Duality Highlights Newsletter and I thought I’d share an excerpt from it. For me it is a good reminder of how to “prepare” for this upcoming life experience – our “second journey” as B calls it. I find I’m not as prepared for this as I thought I would be. A myriad of emotions are flooding this system. This heart is not so brave after-all. Oh I have my “plan” of being a “pioneering woman”, independent, on my own, living a contemplative life, adventurous – pursuing art, photography, meditation, writing, as well as doing all the mundane things that need to be “caught up on” around here – paying attention to house and heart that have been neglected over the years. But the heart is not ready for a “pioneering life” yet. It seems there is some preparation needed as layers of submerged feelings are beginning to release in waves. Last night I had a nightmare, or so I’m told. I don’t remember it. Evidently I’m already tapping into the well of hidden material that is rising to the surface “in preparation.” I knew it would come, just not this soon. I am not one to apply “positive think”, but this article gave me a clue as to how I might approach this new experience with its inherent uprising of feelings.

The article itself is an excerpt from a book called: Beyond the Separate Self – The End of Anxiety and Mental Suffering by Colin Drake.

Here’s the excerpt:

“What is required is a paradigm shift which will change [how one sees] the moment to moment experience… The easiest way to do this is to enquire into the nature of life, which entails investigating experience itself:

1. [Become aware that] ‘Life is just a series of moment-to-moment experiences.’

2. Any moment of experience has only three elements: thoughts, sensations, and awareness of these thoughts and sensations.

3.Thoughts and sensations are ephemeral, that is they come and go, are ‘things’ that are perceived.

4.Awareness is the constant subject, the ‘perceiver’ of thoughts and sensations and that which is always present.

5. All thoughts and sensations appear in awareness, exist in awareness, and subside back into awareness. Before any particular thought or sensation there is effortless awareness of ‘what is’: the sum of all thoughts and sensations occurring at any given instant. During the thought or sensation in question, there is effortless awareness of it within ‘what is’. Then when it has gone there is still effortless awareness of ‘what is.’

6. So the body/mind is experienced as a flow of ephemeral objects appearing in this awareness. Any external object or thing is experienced as a combination of thought and sensation. It is awareness of these thoughts and sensations that constitutes our experience.

7. Therefore, this awareness is the constant substratum in which all things appear to arise, exist and subside. All living things rely on awareness of their environment to exist and their behaviour is directly affected by this. Thus this awareness exists at a deeper level than body/mind (and matter/energy) and we are this awareness!

8. This does not mean that at a surface level we are not the mind and body, for they arise in, are perceived by and subside back into awareness, which is the deepest and most fundamental level of our being. If we choose to identify with this deepest level – awareness – rather than the surface level - mind/body - then thoughts and sensations are seen for what they truly are – just ephemeral objects which come and go, leaving awareness itself totally unaffected..."

~~~~~

I am also reminded by this that my “preparation” is really about getting back to the basics: awareness, openness, allowing and trusting. Bringing awareness to my experience, with its inherent feelings – and – bringing awareness to the inherent Awareness in which this life-experience is occurring; being open to seeing Life unfolding ItSelf in all of this experience through the viewfinder of Awareness – allowing it all; trusting this innate sense of Beingness that lives here – that lives this Life that is living ItSelf here; and REMEMBERing that That is who “I” am within this whirlwind of thought, feeling, and emotion…

At this point life is a blur, as I am beginning to experience this experience as a “death” of sorts; a death of a way of life, its conditionings and attachments – with the necessary losses, sadness and grief that accompanies that; as well as the anxiety and uncertainty for a life-experience yet to be lived. Yet I know that this “death” that is about to occur is absolutely necessary for the Kindling of Life…

Once again stepping into the unknown…

~*~


For a wonderful piece on “story” read the post at
Grace Is Now

GSW - S & M vs. Comic Relief

I have become aware that I might be a tad too serious about too many things lately, always trying to find the Significance and Meaning in everything that happens. And you thought I meant something else right?! :) So today I’m writing about something humorous - the lighter side of life. And what better place to find it than in the grocery store! I have "enjoyed" - well almost - my grocery store days since I’ve been writing a blog post about them, because it brings me to a place of greater awareness, and gives me perspective, which I see as a good thing. Yet, sometimes I think I’m too engaged in trying to find the meaning, the wisdom in it.

Today was no different. Instead of just being *aware*, as usual I started *looking* for Significance and Meaning as soon as I walked in the door. Yet they were nowhere to be found. It was as if they got lost in the *looking*, in the seeking for them. Like we were playing hide and seek in some kind of existential way. They weren’t really there anyway, but I was looking for them just in case. It’s like what I’ve heard some spiritual teachers say about seeking – as soon as you start seeking for the proverbial “It”, “It” is not to be found. It’s lost to *you* because of the seeking, and the trying. It’s as if life needs a softer gaze to be fully seen – fully experienced – because nothing’s really hidden. “IT” reveals itself in every experience.

Anyway, as I kept watching for S&M to show up the thought occurred to me that maybe there really *isn’t* any significance and meaning to what occurs except for what I project onto it, except for what I *want* to see… hmmm. So I relaxed the mind a bit to not be *looking* for anything. I let go of the *needing* for there to be a wisdom, or meaning in what I was experiencing, and just went on my way, *in* the experience - not trying to make something of it.

When I got to the check out stand the young woman ahead of me (I was old enough to be her mother) had just a handful of items, one of which was a 32 oz container of yogurt. She decided she didn’t need a bag, and hadn’t brought her own. She instead tried to carry her “handful” of 5-6 items. She picked them all up and cradled them in her arms. Just as she got to the end of the check out counter I heard a loud – WHAP. I looked up and saw that the 32oz plastic container of yogurt had hit the floor, hitting straight up on its bottom, forcing the lid off, and yogurt splayed everywhere: hitting the man behind us at the opposite check out stand, as well as the counter, the bagger at the end of the counter, and across much of the floor - oops.

The young woman appeared dumb struck that this could have happened, and stated it had never happened to her before, as she nervously laughed. I just watched as it all unfolded. The clerks scrambled to clean it up – and she tried to help. The man tried to wipe the goopy stuff off his bare legs and clothes – while she apologized profusely, and tried to help him wipe it off. I’m sure he was thinking – I can do it myself lady, thanks anyway. In the middle of all this the girl and I looked at each other and broke into laughter. I mean, it really *was* comical, although nobody else was laughing. The sight of this in my head still makes me laugh out loud.

Whap – splat – yogurt everywhere.

No significance, no meaning really – just pure experience…

Life unfolds before our eyes…

Whap – splat – comic relief… :)

Heart Smiles…