Remembering What You Love - Chuck Surface

“What is there to do,
but remember what you Love,
and ache with all your Heart,
however distant Heaven may seem,
however much a fairytale and a Dream.

What is there to do,
but rest, with each breath and heartbeat,
in that U n b e a r a b l e Longing,
which will not be consumed,
by the fires of doubt and despair.

For you did not choose to be stricken,
but simply found yourself afflicted,
with a Remembering beyond memory,
a Feeling beyond emotion.
A knowing beyond knowledge…

As yet unKnown.

What else…

For when faith fails, Longing endures,
when belief crumbles, Longing endures.
When other’s paths prove not our own,
Longing endures.

Longing… endures.

What…
But to remember what you Love,
however She presents Herself,
within the Secret Heart,
of your own unique Longing.

You are not cursed, weary Friend!
For this Longing, Unbearable,
is both Path and Guru,
for those of us so Blessed.
And Love…

The Key to the Gates of Heaven.”

Chuck Surface

Author’s note: Thank you, Sandhya Keller, for adding
 “A Remembering beyond memory” and
”A Feeling beyond emotion”;
both so important,
they simply had to be included.

~*~

I recently found the poems and writings of Chuck Surface
on his website Garden of The Beloved.
I was instantly smitten.

I encourage you to link over and fall in love...

PHOTO: Mandala Art

The Heart's Longing...

It is your destiny to be Love…
The only “purpose” is to BE – Love.

 Rest in Sacred Silence
where the ripples of luminescent Love
form and expand…

It is already there in your Heart ~
in the core of your Being.

Love is your sanctuary.

The longing of the Heart
 is there to
 draw
you
 in
.

.

.

It’s the longing of the Heart for that which is
 True,
Pure, Innocent, Whole,
and Alive
within
 you

It’s the longing for the Embrace of
”The Beloved.”

And…

It’s the call of “The Beloved;”
the pull of the Heart.

Follow the call…

The longing is your Innocence;
an innocent longing
 for The Mystery
of Divine Embrace.

Let that innocent longing carry you...

Come Home

Be at Home

In the Heart of “The Beloved.”

You are held there - deep within
the Divine Heart…

Thrive in that Embrace.

That is Home…

That is Love…

Mystic Meandering

Meditative Writings
circa 2004/2006

~*~

PHOTO: Mandala Art

The Call to Silence...

Stepping over the threshold of another year (in time only J) I am feeling a call to Inner Silence even more strongly than usual - for the past few days especially, but even before that…  It is a call to Meditative Silence, a deep Cosmic kind of Silence that is the ground of our Being that permeates us all – and connects us all.  Spending time in deep Silence opens all the “channels” within to a deeper awareness of the Eternal Beingness that we all are…

I have not been honoring this call to Meditative Silence in the past year as much as I need to, living mostly on the surface of life much of the time, driven by life’s demands.  So I am re-committing myself to the deeper Rhythm of the Great Ocean of Silence within.  An illness this last month has given me the opportunity.  I start the morning before rising with a breath meditation, breathing into the Hara/Lower Dantian, following the movement of the silent Chi that flows through my body. I feel its expansiveness and its strength as I lay there.   Then I rise, and schlep downstairs to my chair at the window, if I don’t get distracted by blogging, emails, hubby or house. J

I quietly sit, following the breath again, bringing awareness to a deeper space of Silence within, until I am aware of what is Aware in me – the pure Awareness that just IS.  Deep Silence opens this field of Awareness beyond form. It is from this deep space of Silence that all life, all creativity, all expressions of Being - including “longing” and this sense of “me”, arise – and is where the Truth of Existence lies…

I know that many who are committed to the Truth of Being are feeling it too – this call to Meditative Silence – this need to commit to something deeper in our selves and in our lives – to dedicate ourselves to the ground of Being, whether we call it Silence, God, Emptiness, Consciousness, Love, or Truth. 

A call to Silence is a call hOMe…

May we all have a year of transformative Silence in our Inner Sanctuaries…

Giving birth to an open Heart…

“Listen with your Chi

Be open
Open Awareness takes over
letting everything come and go,
letting Reality flow in…

Give up your attachment to your self -
the constructed self.
Surrender to the inevitable
movement of The Way…”

Edward Slingerland
Professor of Asian Studies
University of British Columbia
Canada

Top Photo:  This wintry scene was created from frost formed on
 the window pane that was covered on the inside with a piece o
vellum.  The vellum has stars embossed on it. 

It's snowing stars!
The shadow of the frosty image was projected onto the back
of the vellum against the window by the afternoon sun.

The “woods” in the background are actually streaks on the window! :)

You can also see what looks like a pond in the middle.
It’s magic!

The Morning Kiss...

Sometimes I think I feel what the Buddha must have felt when he sat under the Bodhi Tree waiting for “enlightenment” – waiting for the revelation of the Truth of Existence…  I am not a Buddhist (nor a Christian) and do not claim to know the full Truth, nor what the Buddha felt, or interpret the meaning of his “experience” under the tree.  But what I have read is that he was determined to wait for the Truth to be revealed, to wait as long as he needed, to know the Truth.  He did not evidently question whether he could know the Truth or not, he waited for it.

Recently I have experienced a deep longing again for the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth.  Sometimes that translates into a longing for “God” – not a religious image of “God” – more a felt sense of a much vaster, enveloping spacious Cosmic Awareness – which for me is the same as Truth/God.  Sometimes I call it a longing for “God.”, or “waiting on God.”  Ultimately I am longing and waiting for Truth to be revealed, no matter what the vehicle or label.   It is what I have wanted since childhood – a direct revelation of “God”/Truth, which often seems veiled to me – although there have been many “awakenings.”

Every morning I go to my chair by the window and sit in meditative Silence – Listening inwardly… Waiting… Nothing else matters to me.  Everything else is distraction.  It’s as if I am waiting for the “Truth/God” to come Home IN me…  Non-dualists would argue that there is no “me” to wait – which may ultimately be true.   But there is a “mechanism” here that functions as “me.”   And I am tired of those arguments.  I don’t care about playing word games.  I just want the pure Truth.  And it doesn’t seem to matter how many “awakenings” I’ve already had, or how many times IT has revealed ItSelf – there is still longing.

The truth of the matter is J – I do miss “God”! – not a theistic or deistic separate “God”, but more a personal sense of “God” - as Friend, like Rumi and Shams, sitting with each other in intimate Silence. This probably doesn't make any sense to the reader, and I cannot truly explain this “missing” – this “longing.”  In the midst of the longing there is a sense of “The Sacred.”  No matter how I try to mentalize it with contemporary “non-duality” teachings, telling myself that there is no “me” to miss “God” – there is a longing for the Divine.  So where does this come from?  I can “spiritualize” it and say it is the Divine in me longing for ItSelf.  I have said this many times.  But is that true, or just another non-dualism – something to asuage the angst of longing.

It is interesting to me as well that this occurs at what feels like a very “sacred” time of year.  Not because it’s Christmas, or because of Jesus, but there is something palpable in me that starts at Halloween, continues into November, gets particularly stronger near the Winter Solstice – and wanes at Christmas.  It’s as if a “cosmic birthing” – an “awakening” of Consciousness - is taking place within myself – through the longing.  After all isn’t that the theme of season – a rebirth of the Light in form; the awakening of Consciousness within?  I become more acutely aware of what I can only call a “Divine Flow” pulsing within.   There are moments of a felt sense of internal “communion” - of peace and contentment.   And with that comes a deep sense of awe and Gratitude…   Is this the illusive “enlightenment” I’ve been waiting for?  I don’t know…  (And yes, I mean "illusive." :)

So, what to do with this longing…except allow the longing – surrender into it – be true to the longing of the Heart,  let it lead, and feel it all the way through to the Truth.

The Morning Kiss

I am kissed every morning;
a gentle kiss from behind a cloudy veil…

I long for the veil to lift;
to fully awaken to
”the Beloved”

in ITs Brilliance…

I am tired of *trying* to “know”

*trying* to “see”;
chasing misty shadows
of
the Real.

Yet “IT”
calls to me from
behind a veil of mystery.

When my trying and chasing stops,
the veil opens.

Silence comes
– and I wait…

”The Beloved” reveals ItSelf
in
Divine Intimacy
in
Total Awareness

A love affair with
Grace and Love

A Mysterious Embrace

The Morning Kiss…

Mystic Meandering
Dec. 17, 2014

Cosmic Birthing...

Drink the word of Wisdom,
for it has become a veiled light

so that you may become able
to receive the unveiled Light,
to behold without veils
that which is now hidden…

Taste the filtered light
and work your way toward wisdom
with no personal covering.

And traverse the sky like a star,
that you may journey unconditioned…

Thus you came into being from non-existence…

...like a star without a name…

Move across the night sky
with those anonymous lights…

Rumi

taken from two different translations:
Reynold A. Nicholson
The Mathnawi of Jalalu’ddin Rumi
and
Coleman Barks

Mathnawi III

The surface of the earth
is the shore of the cosmic ocean.
Some part of our being knows this is where
we came from.

We long to return, and we can
because the cosmos
is also within us.

We are made of star stuff.

Carl Sagan
Cosmos

Those vast (stars) that you see
far off, far off, far off
with telescopes…

One day you’re going to wake up
and say:
”Why, that is me!”

You are the Eternal

Alan Watts

~

Please see this wonderful post
Sparkling Awareness
by Fred LaMotte

~

Photos: taken out the window
at 3am with flash,
creating these interesting affects

The Cosmic Breath...

Rest in the breath of the Cosmos…
Ride the waves of an invisible
Aurora Borealis
dancing through space,
to the edge of Infinity…

…if there is an edge…

Have you ever wandered there?

Do you know?

Marvel in awe at the light of a gaseous nebula,
interstellar luminous dust
coagulating into form,
emanating its
brilliance
in

d
e
e
p

s p a c e

…the birth of a star?

Pause at the portal of a
swirling black hole.
A vortex
of nothingness
between parallel
realities?

Or ~
maybe a
door
into
the
still
point
of

I

N

F

I

N

I

T

Y

Have you ever looked through?

Do you dare…

Have you seen into “The Beyond”…

Have you felt the hush
floating in a field of stars?

Have you heard the
 Cosmic Silence
that carries you
deeper
into
”The Mystery”
and knew
you
were
That?

The Mystery of Existence…

Do you want to know?

Rest in the Cosmic Breath

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wander the starry fields

* * *

* * * *

* *

*

Mystic Meandering
Dec. 7, 2014

2am

~*~

Photo - South Pole Aurora Borealis

The Eternal Story...

Everything is Eternal Being, Eternal Consciousness, Eternal Awareness that just IS.  Plug in whatever word works for you.  “IT” is ubiquitous = everywhere at the same time, aware of everything that is occurring all at once.

The mind really can’t fathom this, so it creates words, stories, and images, like “God”, which personifies (person-ifies) what cannot be person-ified, to try to explain what cannot be explained – including words like Beingness, Consciousness, and Awareness… :)

There is just the Pure Space of Awareness – everywhere!  It is an alive Space appearing “empty” – like the sky, or space itself.  Yet, everything is suspended in this Space, as if by “magic.”  Everything is “held” in that Space of Emptiness, exists in that Space – including you and I…  A mystery.

The “trick” is to see from the perspective of this Eternal Space, from the Space of Infinite Beingness, rather than from the place of “Earth mind” that only sees the “Earth mind” as real; does not see the bigger picture of being suspended in this Space, but only thinks its immediate reality is real – when in fact it is only part of a much larger Reality that lives and breathes this reality into existence.

How would life change if we started to see our lives in this way, from the perspective of Eternal Awareness – Ubiquitous Awareness – Omniscient Awareness…  From this place of Space…  What would happen if we started viewing each other from this perspective?  Something I fail at miserably...

This is the dis-entanglement from the matrix of our personal life dramas – to see all of it differently – to see the Eternal Infiniteness of all things.

We are being breathed by this Space of Infinite Awareness, by the Cosmic “Spirit” – if you will.  I feel IT when sitting in the space of Silence – the Still Point - being Aware.  This is intimacy with Eternal Being – this sense of intimate connection through the breath of Silence.  It runs through the whole body, is in every cell: the energy of Eternal Being…

This is what we abide in already and don’t even realize it.  It is a natural abidance in this Space of Eternal Beingness.  We abide in the Infinite naturally.  We are just not always aware of it, don’t have a felt sense of it… And so we constantly look for/seek what we call “God” or “The Divine” when it is already what is always right here as Pure Spacious Awareness; is what we breath, and breathes us, is what bathes the cells, and permeates “our” world.  This Divine Energy of life continues on after death, but we focus on the physicality and not the “spirit energy”, that sustains and animates the body – that which never dies.  We only see personalities and not the Beingness of the person.  I know this is true for me.  But if we really look, what is really there…

We try to wrap our minds around the concepts of “God” or “The Divine”, “Emptiness”, “The Infinite”, etc., but the mind cannot really fathom what that really is…  We must let go of our thoughts about “God”/Awareness/Consciousness, and just experience being suspended in “IT.”

It seems so esoteric and yet we can feel the realness of it – experientially, through awareness, direct awareness, direct experience when we don’t overlay it with the minds images – imposing labels, names, stories and images on it, which only hides the Truth of It - deceives us and deludes us – because we believe the mind’s version. 

Everything is ultimately a story – my life is a story, your life is a story.  In reality the “eternal story” is about "returning" to/recognizing who we really are underneath the personal story – our Eternal Beingness.  Ultimately it is the Eternal Story being lived here.  If I don’t see myself as a separate person from Eternal Beingness: a separate person having a personal life, then I can feel this Infinite Space coursing through my body – and know that THAT is the Truth of who I am.  That frees me from all entanglements and dramas that have been created by the story of “me” that I have believed in my mind…

My journal notes
Nov. 11, 2014

"Every thread of us is a vibration of God-Consciousness,
resonating at a frequency beyond light."

Fred LaMotte


Alan Watts YouTube Link:
http://youtu.be/5FELdBsixGg

Please see these other wonderful related posts:

No One Remembers the Past

Fred LaMotte

Non-identification
Jack Kornfield

Empty Cups...

Experiencing spiritual confusion recently, I asked for guidance.  “Spirit” pointed me to “Emptiness.”  The word E-m-p-t-i-n-e-s-s floated through my awareness like a whisper, as if gently calling me to listen, to “see”, to touch, and to experience IT – this “Emptiness.”  I was drawn in to the *space* of Divine Emptiness within.

Amazingly I found articles and posts on Emptiness, on Consciousness, and on Awareness (which many consider one and the same).   Then I spontaneously posted the post about Cups in the Ocean, finding the poems by Rumi once again. And my post on SteppingInto The Stream is in many ways about discovering that wondrous space of Emptiness through letting go.  While decluttering the book cases a couple of weekends ago I re-discovered Adyashanti’s book, Emptiness Dancing, which I have just started re-reading.  And then Fred LaMotte posted this lovely piece recently on the Fullness of Emptiness…  Obviously there was something I was supposed to see about “Emptiness…”

When the word and internal *feeling* of Emptiness first wafted through, it was so powerful that I started taking empty cups from my cupboard and setting them out on their sides in places where I knew I would see them, as reminders of this wondrous sense of Emptiness - our original Nature; the Formlessness within Form analogy.

I experienced this Emptiness as endless spacious openness, unconfined, not having a bottom like a cup, but somehow the symbolism of the empty cup spoke to me, allowing me to recognize the Emptiness as our original Eternal Nature – the still-point of Consciousness ItSelf.   What we *think* we are - this ego, this personality, this identity, this mind, this thought, this emotion, this body, are basically empty forms, filled with Emptiness (Formless Awareness/Consciousness).  It is not the same gutted emptiness that one feels after loss, or trauma. Not “emptiness” in the sense of being a void, devoid of life, but a dynamic, yet subtle vibration of Aliveness, aware, knowing Emptiness that is viscerally felt as an alive, peaceful FULLness . 

When I would turn my awareness inward to this space of Emptiness I felt a profound quietness, a deep presence of Being, a re-orientation of my perspective.  But I also had the sense that through this re-orienting “I” was being “emptied out,” of my orientation to my habituated patterns of mental conditioning as a way of living, the conditioned mental frameworks, as well as deeply buried emotional issues that continue to run deep and rise often, along with the ego-centered way of seeing the world that wants to hang on.  It is like being emptied of all that is not Essential, which of course creates upheaval, and can and has sent me into anxiety and bouts of depression recently.  The ego becomes so emotionally attached to its ideas and beliefs of the way our life should happen, that it resists letting go.  In this process, however, I got the image that the “me” that I *think* I am, that I have become attached to, is an empty cup in the vast Ocean of Pure Consciousness – being dissolved into that Ocean, so that I may remember that *essentially* I am the Ocean. 

In some ways this does leave a kind of gutted feeling because the ego-self resists this emptying, as the orientation *begins* to shift from the “me/ego-self” to our Essential Nature - before the sense of a separate “me.”   The familiar identity known as Christine is being emptied out – present tense – ongoing – little by little - through a process of awareness and surrender – through continually bringing my awareness to this space of Emptiness, *feeling* it, the true Emptiness; seeing that these “ego forms” that we believe we are, are really just empty cups filled with this wondrous space of Aware Consciousness, or Emptiness, unattached to ego, or mind, or thought, or feeling – just the conscious Isness of Being.

How interesting the many varied ways in which we are each shown the wondrous mystery of our True Nature…  Shown that the process of “awakening” to the Truth of our Existence is ever-unfolding, each in our own way…

As a result, I realized recently that I no longer *know* what I *thought* I knew, as my perceptions of Truth have evolved.  In this space of Divine Emptiness what I *thought* was important to say, isn’t, because there is really nothing left to say…

Namaste…

Let Go and LIVE...

Let go

Let it all go:

Hope for the future.
Regret for the past.
Expectations for the present.

LIVE

Embraced in the space of
 Divine Emptiness,
resting at the still-point

with no conceptual framework for your life.
No scaffolding of thought or plan
to hold “you” together…

Dissolve in the great Ocean
 of your Infinite Beingness…

LIVE

without requiring life to be different,
without wanting to change what is
to suit you…

LIVE

Surrendered and emptied out
of the way your conditioned mind
 tells you that life must be…

Let go of your attachment to
 your inexhaustible patterns of fear
that keep you safe, but confined…

Let go

 into the Living Stream
that already carries you…

LIVE

Mystic Meandering

June 2014

Stepping Into The Stream...

About a month or so ago the phrase “stepping into the stream” came to me, and the question – what if I just stepped into the middle of the stream and let go – figuratively speaking.  The insight that came with this was that it meant letting go of the shore of course, not just the one side, but *both* sides.  And that it was not about going from one shore to the other, not about crossing the river/stream, but about letting go of both sides and just being *in* the stream – the Cosmic Stream of Pure Consciousness, the stream of Eternal Beingness – allowing the internal flow of that to take me. I began to understand that what was required was a total immersion in “Divine Consciousness” – a total surrender; a total bowing – not my will but thine kind of bowing.

The letting go was about loosening my grip on *my* hold on life, my take on life, if you will - letting go of holding on to the physical world, the mental constructs of what *seems* to be true that keeps me holding on to the edges.  Buddhists would call it letting go of the attachments we hold onto, the identities, the roles, the beliefs that we have taken on and are attached to – that we *think* gives us a sense of security, stability, permanence, even “spirituality” – but that really keeps us holding on to the edges of the true Living Stream of Divine Consciousness.

In metaphorically “stepping” into this Stream, which is another way of saying becoming more deeply *aware* of what is really Aware within us, becoming conscious of the vast Consciousness that we are, we have to let go of our *identification* with our small self dramas - allowing the Cosmic Stream of Consciousness to take us, absorb us into ItSelf.  By consciously “stepping” into this Stream, turning my awareness towards the Infinite, I am saying that I am willing to let go of my attachments.  I am willing to surrender who I *think* I am to the seamless Divine Flow, trusting that as I step more deeply into the River/Stream, it will dissolve all my ideas and illusions about being a separate self from the Ocean of Consciousness that I/we actually am/are.  This will continue to be the step for me, to knowingly step into this Current and *trust* the River – the Divine Stream of Life – The Mystery of Divine Consciousness, and move in ITs Way more fully.

It’s a lot easier writing *about* this than actually stepping into the Stream and letting go – letting myself just rest in the silent awareness of the vast field of Consciousness that we truly are, which is not affected by our thoughts, feelings, emotions, ambitions, or life circumstances that are happening to us personally – or in the world for that matter.  Ultimately, everything is allowed and everything collapses back into the silent stillpoint of vast Consciousness – while IT remains undisturbed.  But we need to experience this for ourselves, to consciously *feel* what it’s like to step into the Stream of this vastness of awake, knowing Awareness within – the living Consciousness – and see where it goes.  It’s a continuous, ongoing step taken moment to moment…

Photo: Sunrise on Merrymeeting Lake, NH

Taken by my brother 2009

Enlightenment Is ~ ?

“’I’ am not enlightened.
Nor am ‘I’ unenlightened.

Neither label could ever apply to what ‘I’ Am.

The true guru is everywhere.
The true ashram is the Heart.
The true satsang is every moment.

Know yourself as unlimited awareness/consciousness
and let the little ego dance its dance;
and be free wherever you are…

The Light is on.”

Jeff  Foster

“Enlightenment means waking up to what you truly are;
awakening from the dream of separateness
[from what you truly are].

You are the divine emptiness,
the inifinite nothing.”

Adyashanti

Emptiness Dancing

“It’s all just Consciousness playing Itself out in form.
Enlightenment is turning the switch on and
seeing
that which is already there…

There is only Primordial Presence manifesting,
Consciousness manifesting ItSelf as form -
waiting for you to recognize the Consciousness
that you are…"


Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
2004-2006

"Ultimately, enlightenment is
awakening to the Stillness in everything -
the still Presence in everything...

No longer seeking for answers - just BEing
Resting in the stillness of Primordial Awareness
Being the Stillness that you ARE..."

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
2004-2006

Cups In The Ocean - Rumi and Mayer

“These forms we seem to be
are cups floating in an ocean
of living consciousness.

They fill and sink without leaving
an arc of bubbles,
or any good-bye spray.

What we are is that ocean,
too near to see,
though we swim in it
and drink it in…"

”Pour your cup into your
deep ocean-self -
[become aware]

of the vast awareness
and the surge
that carries you along.”

Rumi

I have blended excerpts from two poems
Cup and Ocean, and Cup

In the following video Peter Mayer sings of the vastness of the Soul.
For those who don’t believe in the concept of a “soul”

you can substitute words like Spirit, or True Nature, or Being
and just enjoy this musical wave on the Ocean. J

If the video doesn’t play please leave me a comment to let me know.
Thank you…