Strange Peace...

 A stranger arrived

this mid-winter day…

In Her presence

everything settled…

everything let go…
all resistance
all struggle

everything became still…
…inside…

everything within me rested,

not lifeless – just rested…

everything felt strangely

~ Peaceful ~

When She came

life was allowed to be as life is,

as I listened deeply to

Her whispers…

She felt ‘strange’ to me

only because She

came unexpectedly…

She is larger than life;

beyond mental understanding

or explanation…

Yet, I know that I know this “stranger.”

She is strangely familiar…

I’m sure we have met before…

I welcomed Her in...

She wrapped Her mantel of Peace

around my Heart…

The Fire-Light within began to brighten…

Love emerged…

 She was Home...

Mystic Meandering

 Feb 1, 2015

Oriah, Mooji, Foster & No Mind's Land...

“The blessing of a new year is the reminder that we can begin again and again –
 not just in January, but whenever we need to, with each dawn, each breath.
  Some days I begin again dozens or hundreds of times.
  We will all inevitably at times become distracted and weary.
  We will wander from the clarity of knowing that is beyond articulation and understanding,
 the moments of sitting in the center of what we are
 and why we are here,
 the awareness that is rooted in Love.

Often it is the deep longing to reach for the Beloved within and around me that helped me begin again.
  But sometimes I lose even this, cannot find the end of the thread of that longing that will take me home
 to the Infinite Love I have tasted in moments of grace.
  And then I find, to my astonishment, that even this lack, this loss of feeling and faith,
 when willingly experienced fully,
 can make me available to the longing that guides me home…”

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Copyright 2015

“Let the untrue be exposed and thoroughly burned.
Let whatever is untrue [be burned up] as it is recognized as false.

Wake up to the recognition of your Eternal Self.

Stay in the Heart.
Keep your eyes on
’The Beloved’

Your world may feel like it is being turned upside down.

Do not be disheartened…
It is your good fortune that your ‘world’ is being crushed.

Let your [world] be upside down so that what is true can
 reveal itself and begin unfolding
 in its authentic expression as True Life and Being.

Grace is helping you in every way.
Trust it…”

Mooji

(Above photo:  Zoom blur of a fire in our fireplace J)

“May you speak your deepest truth,
following nothing and nobody
but your own unique path
with some kind of crazy conviction
and an ancient courage
that emanates from beyond
mind…

Be willing to stumble sometimes,
to fail, to fall,
to not know,
to sometimes walk blindly
into the night,
to love without fear,
and to love fear
if and when it arises…”

Jeff Foster

(Above photo taken by my father circa 1952/53)

~*~

Let me to introduce you to Michel Bellegarde over at

No Mind’s Land

Michel has a wonderful blog site full of inspirations and resources
from Krishnamurti to Rumi, and everything in between: sages, mystics, scholars…

  It is where I found Chuck Surface.

Michele creates his own inspirational You Tube videos as well, some of which can be viewed
on his blogsite.  He posts inspiring quotes and poems from various authors and poets,
including myself.  J

Visit No Mind’s Land and let your Spirit Play! 

The Inner Sanctuary Door...

When I posted my first blog post of this year – The Call to Silence – I did not know that *I* was being called to open to the Inner Sanctuary of the Heart.  Sometimes these promptings come below the level of consciousness, when I least expect them.  My “sub-conscious” evidently came out in the last phrase of that post: “May we all have a year of transformative Silence in our Inner Sanctuaries, giving birth to an open Heart” – as this is what *I* wanted as well – an open Heart.  Those words were meant for me as much as anyone else that might read them.

That day I found Chuck Surface’s poem - Remembering What You Love at – Garden of the Beloved – and I was smitten.  Chuck speaks the language of an Illumined Heart, and the Inner Sanctuary Door to my Heart began to open in response.  In fact, that day the Door FLUNG open wide with causeless, immaculate JOY.  And then just as quickly closed again a day later, leaving my Spiritual Heart languishing…  I have no idea why…   Several dark days followed…  Having tasted such sweet openness and then contraction, the Heart felt like it was going to be broken open or crushed – neither happened.  But we won’t go to the shadowlands today. J  Suffice it to say that the shadows of the heart, all those aspects of myself that had been orphaned from Love over the years through conditioning, i.e: – the emotional baggage that had yet to be claimed - also arose with intensity.  This is not uncommon.  But new Life also stirred within…

Everyone has a unique path.  For me I realized that what was needed was/is a permanent, sustainable opening of the Inner Sanctuary of the Heart; an opening into/of the True Heart of "Divine Love."  The sanctuary doors have opened from time to time over the years, giving me glimpses of what it feels like to live with an open Heart…  Like the post on Incubating Love last year – when my Inner Heart spontaneously opened to an Amaryllis flower…  But most of the time the Heart has remained behind electrical fences and thick walls, defending it from breaking – except - the fences and walls have kept it from breaking open.

Sometimes I have felt a little like a cat - managing to slip past the fences, making it to the Sanctuary Door, out of curiosity, out of naïvete and a disillusioned sense of “awakening” or “enlightenment” - but I never found any lasting “enlightenment” behind the curtain in the land of OZ, which I no longer desire anyway – after all my “trying” to get in… J   After all, these too are only concepts.

I often feel like I don’t KNOW anything anymore, feel I have not REALIZED anything at all, in all my years of being on a “spiritual path.”   It’s as if all that I have experienced until now, all the things I have believed and “knowledge” I have acquired were just stepping stones leading to the Sanctuary Door of the Heart…

 I am now in a place of not knowing anything with certitude, patiently waiting at the Door, like a cat.  And I’m okay with that as that seems to be my unique path – meandering in the Infinite Mystery of “The Beloved” (kind of like these words :) - knocking at many doors until the Inner Door opens…  Loosening the sense of self-identity and strong attachments as I go…  I’ve listened to many “spiritual wizards” over the years pulling the levers, purveyors of “Truth”, some misguided misinterpretations of “the Truth", not real nourishment…   After a while their words sounded empty.  Their words did not open the Inner Heart – until I read the poetry and writings of Chuck Surface – and even then, the Door only opened for a moment, giving me a taste of the Heart Light – wanting more.

So now what?  Now that I have confessed my shortcomings… J

I simply continue…stoking the embers of the Heart, waiting for “the Beloved” – the secret Guru of the Inner Heart - to open the Sanctuary Door from within…   It does not open “on demand” with a remote control.  *I* cannot make the Door open…  It is not by volition (personal will) or force, but only by grace and surrender to the movement of “The Beloved” from within, opening the Door from the inside in Its own time…  Oh I “know”, on some level, who I really am – my “true identity” – beyond the ego-identity, although I keep forgetting.  There is awareness that I am the Formless in Form, Spirit, Awareness, Consciousness, Life ItSelf – but knowing is not enough. It has to be a felt experience.

My True Heart remains in a bud – waiting to be infused with the GLOW of Love’s Light…  That is the true Longing – to remember the Original Love that we were before we were born, before the need to guard the heart; waiting for That Love to light up the Heart from within…

How interesting that I was drawn to post about the Heart – about Love – in the last few posts…   Now I want to truly experience the open Heart of Love…  And maybe I have said too much here – too personal maybe for some…  Maybe this was only meant to be a whisper to “the Beloved” – Come, open the door to my Heart… 

"...Remember,
the entrance door to the sanctuary
is inside you..."

Rumi

When the Heart Opens...

When the Heart opens
nothing else matters:

not trying to “figure ‘it’ all out,”
or to “make ‘it’ happen”,
or “understanding” anything…

When the Heart opens
you know that you are loved
beyond measure,
from a space beyond
known love...

Embrace this Love
that arises in the
 Heart of Hearts.
Feel its joy, its comfort,
and play in the channels
of Its Love.

It is not difficult to open to Its flow,
but you have erected many barriers
and limitations
through the years of hiding
who you are
as

 ~ Love ~

Don’t be afraid of where this Love might take you,
or how it will change you.
Allow the stream of Love to carry you,
to ~ flow ~ you ~

 through life ~

Allow the Truth of who you are to emerge:
~ Love ~
the Essence of your Being,
and all constrictions will release,
and
 Love will
flow ~ ~ ~ ~

Unrestrained…

All that is necessary is to Remember
the Essence of Love
that you are,
 from which you came,
in the Stillness of
your Heart…

It is your truth
and your substance…


Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
circa 2004/2006

“Meditative writings” are words that seem to have simply fallen
 out onto the page in narrative form during times in meditation
 or deep Silence.
They were written down as if spoken by someone else from within
– from the Cave of the Heart - giving Divine instruction.

I simply put them together in the form of a poem.

~

Top Photo: Sunrise 1-16-15
taken by Dear Hubby

Bottom Photo: Sunset 1-5-15
moi… J

Remembering What You Love - Chuck Surface

“What is there to do,
but remember what you Love,
and ache with all your Heart,
however distant Heaven may seem,
however much a fairytale and a Dream.

What is there to do,
but rest, with each breath and heartbeat,
in that U n b e a r a b l e Longing,
which will not be consumed,
by the fires of doubt and despair.

For you did not choose to be stricken,
but simply found yourself afflicted,
with a Remembering beyond memory,
a Feeling beyond emotion.
A knowing beyond knowledge…

As yet unKnown.

What else…

For when faith fails, Longing endures,
when belief crumbles, Longing endures.
When other’s paths prove not our own,
Longing endures.

Longing… endures.

What…
But to remember what you Love,
however She presents Herself,
within the Secret Heart,
of your own unique Longing.

You are not cursed, weary Friend!
For this Longing, Unbearable,
is both Path and Guru,
for those of us so Blessed.
And Love…

The Key to the Gates of Heaven.”

Chuck Surface

Author’s note: Thank you, Sandhya Keller, for adding
 “A Remembering beyond memory” and
”A Feeling beyond emotion”;
both so important,
they simply had to be included.

~*~

I recently found the poems and writings of Chuck Surface
on his website Garden of The Beloved.
I was instantly smitten.

I encourage you to link over and fall in love...

PHOTO: Mandala Art

The Heart's Longing...

It is your destiny to be Love…
The only “purpose” is to BE – Love.

 Rest in Sacred Silence
where the ripples of luminescent Love
form and expand…

It is already there in your Heart ~
in the core of your Being.

Love is your sanctuary.

The longing of the Heart
 is there to
 draw
you
 in
.

.

.

It’s the longing of the Heart for that which is
 True,
Pure, Innocent, Whole,
and Alive
within
 you

It’s the longing for the Embrace of
”The Beloved.”

And…

It’s the call of “The Beloved;”
the pull of the Heart.

Follow the call…

The longing is your Innocence;
an innocent longing
 for The Mystery
of Divine Embrace.

Let that innocent longing carry you...

Come Home

Be at Home

In the Heart of “The Beloved.”

You are held there - deep within
the Divine Heart…

Thrive in that Embrace.

That is Home…

That is Love…

Mystic Meandering

Meditative Writings
circa 2004/2006

~*~

PHOTO: Mandala Art

The Call to Silence...

Stepping over the threshold of another year (in time only J) I am feeling a call to Inner Silence even more strongly than usual - for the past few days especially, but even before that…  It is a call to Meditative Silence, a deep Cosmic kind of Silence that is the ground of our Being that permeates us all – and connects us all.  Spending time in deep Silence opens all the “channels” within to a deeper awareness of the Eternal Beingness that we all are…

I have not been honoring this call to Meditative Silence in the past year as much as I need to, living mostly on the surface of life much of the time, driven by life’s demands.  So I am re-committing myself to the deeper Rhythm of the Great Ocean of Silence within.  An illness this last month has given me the opportunity.  I start the morning before rising with a breath meditation, breathing into the Hara/Lower Dantian, following the movement of the silent Chi that flows through my body. I feel its expansiveness and its strength as I lay there.   Then I rise, and schlep downstairs to my chair at the window, if I don’t get distracted by blogging, emails, hubby or house. J

I quietly sit, following the breath again, bringing awareness to a deeper space of Silence within, until I am aware of what is Aware in me – the pure Awareness that just IS.  Deep Silence opens this field of Awareness beyond form. It is from this deep space of Silence that all life, all creativity, all expressions of Being - including “longing” and this sense of “me”, arise – and is where the Truth of Existence lies…

I know that many who are committed to the Truth of Being are feeling it too – this call to Meditative Silence – this need to commit to something deeper in our selves and in our lives – to dedicate ourselves to the ground of Being, whether we call it Silence, God, Emptiness, Consciousness, Love, or Truth. 

A call to Silence is a call hOMe…

May we all have a year of transformative Silence in our Inner Sanctuaries…

Giving birth to an open Heart…

“Listen with your Chi

Be open
Open Awareness takes over
letting everything come and go,
letting Reality flow in…

Give up your attachment to your self -
the constructed self.
Surrender to the inevitable
movement of The Way…”

Edward Slingerland
Professor of Asian Studies
University of British Columbia
Canada

Top Photo:  This wintry scene was created from frost formed on
 the window pane that was covered on the inside with a piece o
vellum.  The vellum has stars embossed on it. 

It's snowing stars!
The shadow of the frosty image was projected onto the back
of the vellum against the window by the afternoon sun.

The “woods” in the background are actually streaks on the window! :)

You can also see what looks like a pond in the middle.
It’s magic!

The Morning Kiss...

Sometimes I think I feel what the Buddha must have felt when he sat under the Bodhi Tree waiting for “enlightenment” – waiting for the revelation of the Truth of Existence…  I am not a Buddhist (nor a Christian) and do not claim to know the full Truth, nor what the Buddha felt, or interpret the meaning of his “experience” under the tree.  But what I have read is that he was determined to wait for the Truth to be revealed, to wait as long as he needed, to know the Truth.  He did not evidently question whether he could know the Truth or not, he waited for it.

Recently I have experienced a deep longing again for the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth.  Sometimes that translates into a longing for “God” – not a religious image of “God” – more a felt sense of a much vaster, enveloping spacious Cosmic Awareness – which for me is the same as Truth/God.  Sometimes I call it a longing for “God.”, or “waiting on God.”  Ultimately I am longing and waiting for Truth to be revealed, no matter what the vehicle or label.   It is what I have wanted since childhood – a direct revelation of “God”/Truth, which often seems veiled to me – although there have been many “awakenings.”

Every morning I go to my chair by the window and sit in meditative Silence – Listening inwardly… Waiting… Nothing else matters to me.  Everything else is distraction.  It’s as if I am waiting for the “Truth/God” to come Home IN me…  Non-dualists would argue that there is no “me” to wait – which may ultimately be true.   But there is a “mechanism” here that functions as “me.”   And I am tired of those arguments.  I don’t care about playing word games.  I just want the pure Truth.  And it doesn’t seem to matter how many “awakenings” I’ve already had, or how many times IT has revealed ItSelf – there is still longing.

The truth of the matter is J – I do miss “God”! – not a theistic or deistic separate “God”, but more a personal sense of “God” - as Friend, like Rumi and Shams, sitting with each other in intimate Silence. This probably doesn't make any sense to the reader, and I cannot truly explain this “missing” – this “longing.”  In the midst of the longing there is a sense of “The Sacred.”  No matter how I try to mentalize it with contemporary “non-duality” teachings, telling myself that there is no “me” to miss “God” – there is a longing for the Divine.  So where does this come from?  I can “spiritualize” it and say it is the Divine in me longing for ItSelf.  I have said this many times.  But is that true, or just another non-dualism – something to asuage the angst of longing.

It is interesting to me as well that this occurs at what feels like a very “sacred” time of year.  Not because it’s Christmas, or because of Jesus, but there is something palpable in me that starts at Halloween, continues into November, gets particularly stronger near the Winter Solstice – and wanes at Christmas.  It’s as if a “cosmic birthing” – an “awakening” of Consciousness - is taking place within myself – through the longing.  After all isn’t that the theme of season – a rebirth of the Light in form; the awakening of Consciousness within?  I become more acutely aware of what I can only call a “Divine Flow” pulsing within.   There are moments of a felt sense of internal “communion” - of peace and contentment.   And with that comes a deep sense of awe and Gratitude…   Is this the illusive “enlightenment” I’ve been waiting for?  I don’t know…  (And yes, I mean "illusive." :)

So, what to do with this longing…except allow the longing – surrender into it – be true to the longing of the Heart,  let it lead, and feel it all the way through to the Truth.

The Morning Kiss

I am kissed every morning;
a gentle kiss from behind a cloudy veil…

I long for the veil to lift;
to fully awaken to
”the Beloved”

in ITs Brilliance…

I am tired of *trying* to “know”

*trying* to “see”;
chasing misty shadows
of
the Real.

Yet “IT”
calls to me from
behind a veil of mystery.

When my trying and chasing stops,
the veil opens.

Silence comes
– and I wait…

”The Beloved” reveals ItSelf
in
Divine Intimacy
in
Total Awareness

A love affair with
Grace and Love

A Mysterious Embrace

The Morning Kiss…

Mystic Meandering
Dec. 17, 2014

Cosmic Birthing...

Drink the word of Wisdom,
for it has become a veiled light

so that you may become able
to receive the unveiled Light,
to behold without veils
that which is now hidden…

Taste the filtered light
and work your way toward wisdom
with no personal covering.

And traverse the sky like a star,
that you may journey unconditioned…

Thus you came into being from non-existence…

...like a star without a name…

Move across the night sky
with those anonymous lights…

Rumi

taken from two different translations:
Reynold A. Nicholson
The Mathnawi of Jalalu’ddin Rumi
and
Coleman Barks

Mathnawi III

The surface of the earth
is the shore of the cosmic ocean.
Some part of our being knows this is where
we came from.

We long to return, and we can
because the cosmos
is also within us.

We are made of star stuff.

Carl Sagan
Cosmos

Those vast (stars) that you see
far off, far off, far off
with telescopes…

One day you’re going to wake up
and say:
”Why, that is me!”

You are the Eternal

Alan Watts

~

Please see this wonderful post
Sparkling Awareness
by Fred LaMotte

~

Photos: taken out the window
at 3am with flash,
creating these interesting affects

The Cosmic Breath...

Rest in the breath of the Cosmos…
Ride the waves of an invisible
Aurora Borealis
dancing through space,
to the edge of Infinity…

…if there is an edge…

Have you ever wandered there?

Do you know?

Marvel in awe at the light of a gaseous nebula,
interstellar luminous dust
coagulating into form,
emanating its
brilliance
in

d
e
e
p

s p a c e

…the birth of a star?

Pause at the portal of a
swirling black hole.
A vortex
of nothingness
between parallel
realities?

Or ~
maybe a
door
into
the
still
point
of

I

N

F

I

N

I

T

Y

Have you ever looked through?

Do you dare…

Have you seen into “The Beyond”…

Have you felt the hush
floating in a field of stars?

Have you heard the
 Cosmic Silence
that carries you
deeper
into
”The Mystery”
and knew
you
were
That?

The Mystery of Existence…

Do you want to know?

Rest in the Cosmic Breath

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wander the starry fields

* * *

* * * *

* *

*

Mystic Meandering
Dec. 7, 2014

2am

~*~

Photo - South Pole Aurora Borealis

The Eternal Story...

Everything is Eternal Being, Eternal Consciousness, Eternal Awareness that just IS.  Plug in whatever word works for you.  “IT” is ubiquitous = everywhere at the same time, aware of everything that is occurring all at once.

The mind really can’t fathom this, so it creates words, stories, and images, like “God”, which personifies (person-ifies) what cannot be person-ified, to try to explain what cannot be explained – including words like Beingness, Consciousness, and Awareness… :)

There is just the Pure Space of Awareness – everywhere!  It is an alive Space appearing “empty” – like the sky, or space itself.  Yet, everything is suspended in this Space, as if by “magic.”  Everything is “held” in that Space of Emptiness, exists in that Space – including you and I…  A mystery.

The “trick” is to see from the perspective of this Eternal Space, from the Space of Infinite Beingness, rather than from the place of “Earth mind” that only sees the “Earth mind” as real; does not see the bigger picture of being suspended in this Space, but only thinks its immediate reality is real – when in fact it is only part of a much larger Reality that lives and breathes this reality into existence.

How would life change if we started to see our lives in this way, from the perspective of Eternal Awareness – Ubiquitous Awareness – Omniscient Awareness…  From this place of Space…  What would happen if we started viewing each other from this perspective?  Something I fail at miserably...

This is the dis-entanglement from the matrix of our personal life dramas – to see all of it differently – to see the Eternal Infiniteness of all things.

We are being breathed by this Space of Infinite Awareness, by the Cosmic “Spirit” – if you will.  I feel IT when sitting in the space of Silence – the Still Point - being Aware.  This is intimacy with Eternal Being – this sense of intimate connection through the breath of Silence.  It runs through the whole body, is in every cell: the energy of Eternal Being…

This is what we abide in already and don’t even realize it.  It is a natural abidance in this Space of Eternal Beingness.  We abide in the Infinite naturally.  We are just not always aware of it, don’t have a felt sense of it… And so we constantly look for/seek what we call “God” or “The Divine” when it is already what is always right here as Pure Spacious Awareness; is what we breath, and breathes us, is what bathes the cells, and permeates “our” world.  This Divine Energy of life continues on after death, but we focus on the physicality and not the “spirit energy”, that sustains and animates the body – that which never dies.  We only see personalities and not the Beingness of the person.  I know this is true for me.  But if we really look, what is really there…

We try to wrap our minds around the concepts of “God” or “The Divine”, “Emptiness”, “The Infinite”, etc., but the mind cannot really fathom what that really is…  We must let go of our thoughts about “God”/Awareness/Consciousness, and just experience being suspended in “IT.”

It seems so esoteric and yet we can feel the realness of it – experientially, through awareness, direct awareness, direct experience when we don’t overlay it with the minds images – imposing labels, names, stories and images on it, which only hides the Truth of It - deceives us and deludes us – because we believe the mind’s version. 

Everything is ultimately a story – my life is a story, your life is a story.  In reality the “eternal story” is about "returning" to/recognizing who we really are underneath the personal story – our Eternal Beingness.  Ultimately it is the Eternal Story being lived here.  If I don’t see myself as a separate person from Eternal Beingness: a separate person having a personal life, then I can feel this Infinite Space coursing through my body – and know that THAT is the Truth of who I am.  That frees me from all entanglements and dramas that have been created by the story of “me” that I have believed in my mind…

My journal notes
Nov. 11, 2014

"Every thread of us is a vibration of God-Consciousness,
resonating at a frequency beyond light."

Fred LaMotte


Alan Watts YouTube Link:
http://youtu.be/5FELdBsixGg

Please see these other wonderful related posts:

No One Remembers the Past

Fred LaMotte

Non-identification
Jack Kornfield