Paper Tigers

Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh, my…..:)

My husband is returning from his 5 day trip to and from the Forest of Dramaland and a visit with DQ. It has turned out to be quite beneficial for all concerned, or so it appears - in the moment. Communication has been restored, relationships seemingly repaired – for the moment. And momentary cooperation has been established in creating a workable solution for the benefit of his mother. The door to communication has been pried open ever so slightly. A bridge of commonality has been created through focusing on a project that my husband and his sister can work on together - even with their differences – namely, finding appropriate solutions for the care of their mother. Interesting.

And through this we’ve seen that behind the blustery persona of drama and control is a fearful heart. I think we have known this all along, but it seems more clear to us these days. It is a fear-based game of power and control: fear of lack, fear of inadequacy, fear of losing control and power, and probably many other fears that are hidden behind a façade of drama, anger, fierceness, and threatening attacks – the realm of dramaland. But for all the bluster and aggression they are Paper Tigers. There is no substance really… Just fear.

For my husband and me this has been a call to conscious living - to authenticity - through awareness – through seeing what is behind the mask, our own as well as others. For me in particular it has been a reminder to step back into authentic Presence and just see - without coming to conclusions, without trying to control things from here – like the “wizard” behind the curtain pulling the levers - without defending, without getting into the emotional drama pit with them, but to just let the situation unfold. To not *believe* the stories, even the ones I’m creating about them in my own head, to not believe my assumptions of why they (his sister and her husband) are acting the way they are, to not project motive and intent, to not make *them* the enemy to soothe my own sense of rightness. So many lessons here, it may take a while to digest them all, after all there was a lot of ooey-gooey bitter-sweet chocolate and nuts that were consumed on this rocky road. I may have to go through withdrawal for my indulgence, as I find my own way out of the forest…. Some quiet time in Stillness and meditation sounds good right about now to get my bearings again – to drop down from behind my own mask of engagement into the Heart of Awareness again.

As Pema Chodron says: “It’s all raw material for waking up….. By the way we think and by the way we believe…, in that way is our world created. Life’s work is to wake up. You don’t have to transform anything. Simply let go of the storyline (the drama)….and find the tenderness that’s underneath…” – the Living Consciousness that we are behind the mask…

Peek-a-Boo :)