Not much going on here, except a lot of family involvement with errands and doctor appointments this week; and trying to take my “twilight walks” each evening, which I hope to write about at some point. But nothing arises to be written, no inspiration visits. And yet there was the impulse to post this article by Rob Matthews, called, "The Ineffable Mystery of Being," that I read on Non-Duality Highlights more than two weeks ago. I so deeply resonate with what he articulately writes that really all I can say is: “what he said…” “What I have discovered through my spiritual practice is an
increasing self-intimacy...a sense of authenticity and real-ness,
that has become the cornerstone of my daily life. I cannot
imagine how I could have lived without this living presence
and sense of emerging fullness.
Our awareness is incredibly powerful at enabling the unveiling
of ourselves, revealing a fuller picture, illuminating our
experience, but only if we are willing and committed to
knowing the fullness of what we are.
I find as I continue noticing and encountering this awareness in
my life what comes into view is both particular and vast,
discordant yet harmonious, life sustaining yet challenging
and not necessarily easy. This active engagement demands
my courage and honesty, this is no walk in the park.
As I continue, the sense of congruence and authenticity begins to
sprout and this self-intimacy becomes the rule, in time. Although
it is not as though there is one mode of being, that of self-intimacy,
no, it is more like that a dance has begun.
This dance, fueled and enabled by the openness and desire of
wanting to know myself, is both exhilarating and liberating and,
as I develop trust in the unfolding, I soon begin to recognize that
any ideas or desires for Awakening need not concern me....it no
longer is of interest as my life has filled up with a delicious
fragrance of authenticity.
I no longer care for anything other than supporting what has taken
root within me…if the self concept or ego continues I don't care,
the teachers and teachings tell me this and that and I don't care,
life is its usual mix of struggle and strife, joy and love, and I no
longer care...why would I care when I know the golden key is within?
Why search for anything when the very fabric of experience is the
path of unfolding. Everyday experience reveals this once we get a
little more familiar with ourselves and stop trying to awaken, stop
meddling with our experience long enough to notice what is.
At some stage there was a key realization, one among many, when
I realized I can let go of all concepts about the teaching and just
feel comfortable in everyday experience without any framework
or concepts about how it ought to be. Is their a doer? Is there an
ego? Is there an awakening? Are we perfect? None of these
conceptual frames of reference are important. Instead I relax
and notice that all that stuff is just ideas about...
about the ineffable mystery of being.”
I too feel this sense of “self-intimacy, authenticity and realness” stirring, simmering deeply within, calling to me *from* within. And I am committed to listening to and following the call - *living* the call of deeper intimacy with Self – Beingness – “The Beloved” - Life, which I think is part of what my “twilight walks” are all about – allowing myself to experience this ineffable mystery of Being…
Note: I emailed the editor of Non Duality Highlights who posted this particular piece to see if there was a link for Rob Matthews. There was no response. Whoever he is, I thank him for putting into words what I feel in this heart…
~I also found what I consider to be one of the simplest and clearest “definitions” of “non-duality.” It was spoken by Joan Ruvinsky in reference to the question “what is a non-dual retreat” – but her answer spoke to me in the broader sense of the word “non-dual”, and thus life itself. She says:“Ultimately a non-dual retreat is where it is all welcome,the fragmentation and the wholeness,the confusion and the clarity.It is a place where it is no longer necessaryto be spiritually correct…”“Life has always been a spiritual practicein its ordinariness – just happening -just living it.A simple silence underlies life happening -the simple silence of the perfectionof things as they are…”
Joan Ruvinsky