Follow the Warmth - Fred LaMotte

When you were a
very young child
you used no esoteric practice,
no spiritual technique.
You just honored people
who made your chest expand
with silent warmth.

You stayed away from those
who chilled and shrank
your heart.
How does the orchid open
in the wilderness?
It bends toward light,
away from cold.
Follow the sacred scripture
of your body.
Walk through the forest
at midnight holding
the candle of your breath.
You don't need to see far.
Just step into the next
lit pool of silence.
Ways will open,
ways will open surely.
Now is the time to depart
from the kingdom of fear
and travel towards the golden
palace of your [True] Self.

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance

~

Art - Mystic Meandering
Vortex Art with Craypas oils
c. 2011

A Story of Unexpected Compassion

While at the cardiologist's office last week, signing in with the receptionist, asking her some questions, a woman suddenly appeared behind me.  She interrupted in a frantic, anxious voice, obviously distressed:

"I don't mean to interrupt, but I just need to know when my appointment is because I have an echogram scheduled down the hall and I want to make sure I don't miss my appointment with the doctor."

I gently responded " no problem" to her interruption and stepped aside while she frantically went on.  I immediately noticed a portion of a vertical scar on her chest above the open top of her blouse - a sign of open heart surgery.

She was a fairly young (through my 68 year old eyes) short woman, disheveled, with stringy, dirty-blonde hair.  And even though it was nearly 60 degrees with no snow on the ground, she wore snow boots and a winter coat that sat cockeyed on her shoulders as she flailed her arms about excitedly; the unbuttoned coat flapped around as she flailed, in very apparent anxiety.  She reminded me of one of those odd characters in stories or movies, who interrupt a scene to bring awareness to something; to get your attention.  I could see the stress and fear on the woman's face, and in her body motions...  It was a familiar look and feeling.  I could relate...  I saw myself in her - although not quite as exaggerated - but often how I feel inside...

She kept apologizing for interrupting, and I kept saying it was no problem at all, that I understood; trying to put her at ease.

The receptionist, somewhat guarded, responded to her in a firm, almost stern voice - that her appointment was at 2:30 (it was now just after 1pm), and that she had time to get her echocardiogram done and come back in time for her appointment.  The woman left in a hurry, scuffing her snow boots across the carpeted floor.

I finished with the receptionist and took a seat, waiting for my turn.

After my visit with the doctor, I came out to a full waiting room - a sea of faces.  As I stood at the desk to make another appointment, I turned and saw the disheveled woman sitting there - fidgeting.  While I waited for the scheduler to attend to me, as she made no acknowledgment of my presence, I turned to the woman and said: "I see you made it back ok" - smiling.

She exhaled a long drawn out "yessss", looking frazzled - making more antsy body movements in her chair.

I said to her - "I have anxiety too" and smiled again, just wanting to soothe the woman's obvious internal suffering, as I knew deeply what that feels like - to be so anxious, to be so wound up inside that calmness doesn't seem possible at times.  And how "peace" often feels like a noble idea, just out of reach, while my frenetic mind and body take over, just like hers did.

I am haunted by the memory of her now - knowing how painful it is to go through life with such emotional intensity and the fear that lies hidden in the body, erupting in uncontrollable outbursts of anxiety at times - or heart problems :) - when awareness fails - although I have learned to meet it when the fearful mind arises, embracing it - trying to ride out its ferocity...  still...  I know how it feels when it is out of control...

Afterwards I was very aware that "I" didn't *decide* to be compassionate, yet Something in me responded automatically to her, from the Heart.  Compassion arose unexpectedly; a heartfelt response to reach out to someone in trouble - emotionally.

How ironic - in the cardiologist's office, where they take care of hearts, that I would experience a real Heart opening for another human being; meeting her where she was in her fear, not making judgments about her behavior...  Maybe that was a reflection, just a little glimpse in the mirror, of who "I" truly am - the True Self within.  Deep inside this fearful heart beats a Heart of Compassion...  I find that somehow comforting...

It's there in all of us, our True Nature, if we only open to it...

_/\_

Namaste

Please note:  this is not written to say how wonderful I am.  It's not about "me" being compassionate, but how the Heart opened and compassion arose unexpectedly.  How the disheveled woman came to me to teach me that it is there even when I don't realize it.  The woman's "condition" slowed my mind and gave me a different perspective.  I am forever grateful to the disheveled woman, and send her blessings wherever she is...

~*~

The only difference between "you" and "me"
are the words and concepts of "you" and "me."
The Source of everything is the same
- Love and Compassion -
this is [the True] Self.

Papaji

Listen for the Silence - Fred LaMotte

In the white noise
of many opinions
I long to hear the silence
creatures make
when they are listening.

There is no thought,
only the mysterious harmony
of trees and raindrops.

Invisible things appear.

The deer step gently
out of the mist.

When we listen,
the heart opens
fearlessly.

[.....]

Fred LaMotte

Uradiance

Interfaith Chaplain
Instructor of World Religions
Shaman

~

For those who celebrate the Solstice/Yule
may you hear the Silence of Life
singing in your Heart...

_/\_

A Sappy Love Story...

I am always deeply moved by the kindness of strangers.  I don’t mean acts of courtesy like when someone allows you to go ahead of them through a door, or at an intersection on the road, or ahead of them in line at the store, but unexpected acts of genuine kindness that make a deep impression in the heart, and leave it open.  This was one such occasion.

Friday I drove over to a local craft store to look for an item to use in a painting that I had had an image of in a meditation last week.  When I drove into the parking lot a large, bright yellow and black Monarch butterfly flew over the left top edge of the windshield and down in front of me – flying just ahead of me.  It felt like I had been gently and unexpectedly graced from another realm.  It certainly got my attention…  It flew on and I turned into a parking slot – wondering if there was any significance to it…  Usually when something like this shows up right in front of my face, it means I need to pay attention to something.  Butterflies represent a process of metamorphosis, morphing into their True State, breaking through a self-imposed cocoon, opening their “wings” more fully and taking flight.  I didn’t know that the cocoon of my Heart was about to be opened!

I also unexpectedly found what I was looking for in the store and quickly headed for the check out counter.  I was the only one at the counter, besides the cashier, or so I thought.  The item was not very expensive, but still I enquired if it might be on sale, as I had noticed 50% off tickets on some of the shelves around where I found the item.  It wasn’t.  So the woman rang the item up and gave me the total.  I was about to pay when I was suddenly aware of a tall woman standing next to me.  In a soft-spoken voice she said: “Wait a minute, I think I have a coupon here.”  At first I was confused, and then realized she had dug out a rumpled up coupon worth 40% off any item and handed it to the cashier for my purchase!  It meant a savings of over $7.00.  I was gobsmacked!  Had she been standing there all along and I hadn’t noticed her!?  Had she heard me ask the clerk about a discount?!  I had no clue where she came from!  Really!  Like the butterfuly that was suddenly in front of my windshield!  I was overwhelmed and a bit in shock…  I turned to her and met her large soft eyes, and humbly thanked her a couple of times, and then left with my package – and my heart opened; most likely never to see her again…  Gone like the butterfly…  Amazing…   I found more than my “item” on this errand! J  It seems I found my True Heart again - the soft , open Heart hidden within the cocoon…

When I got to the car I started crying – and cried nearly all the way home – as my heart softened and opened even more…  Sounds sappy maybe, but I am always moved by these acts of connection and kindness with total strangers when least expected.  And I thought how often I do not act out of kindness towards others in this way, but put my blinders on, feeling overwhelmed by crowds and noise, staying in my cocoon,  just wanting to get the errand over with, consequently less *aware* of those around me.  I wondered how many opportunities for kindness I have missed along the way…  I now will be paying more attention, being more aware, and keeping my heart open – letting those rumpled-up heart wings unfold…

What touches your Heart deeply?

~

Photo: The shadow looks like
a butterfly wing to me J

A Heart Opener...

These photos are so precious! We recently received them from an online friend, and I was so moved by them that I had to share them with you.

This is the short story that came with these pictures: Lily is a Great Dane that has been blind since a bizarre medical condition required that she have both eyes removed. For the last 5 years, Maddison, another Great Dane, has been her sight. The two are, of course, inseparable.

This was the caption at the bottom of the photos…

"People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel."

~~

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives
means the most to us, we often find that it is those who,
instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures,
have chosen rather to share our pain
and touch our wounds
with a gentle hand.

The friend who can be silent with us
in a moment of despair or confusion,
who can stay with us in an hour of grief & bereavement,
who can tolerate not knowing,
not curing,
not healing,
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
that is a friend who cares…”

Henri Nouwen

~

You might also like to view
this wonderful
Heart warming video
click here.

Simply Sad-ing...

There is a sense that “the path” is changing once again – opening up – carrying me like a river to “places” unknown. And I don’t mean physical places, but those internal places of Spirit/Soul/Being ~ Heart. I’ve had these feelings before. Maybe it’s just that melancholy feeling I get when Fall comes round again – although it is my favorite season. Or maybe it’s a culmination of things coming together – and “falling” apart – the normal cycles of time, season, life - allowing the things that need to die in me to die.

Whatever it is, there is a deep sadness that sings in my heart these days – reasons not necessary. It emerges, subsides and re-emerges – like the seasons. So I listen to its song. She is really the Heart’s whispers disguised in the language of “sadness.” She has been waiting for me to open this window and listen – without agenda - not needing to *define* it in any particular way – only listening and letting her sing her song in my heart - calling me "Home." She is simply another pathway *in* to the Heart of Being.

There is a rawness and vulnerability in being open to sadness that feels like I’m letting go of everything that is familiar, and heading out into the open sea. And maybe that is the gift of sadness – allowing myself to be open to life, penetrable by life, experiencing the rawness of life with its feelings – not trying to be strong, to find cause, to fix it, or cover it over… Instead, I let sadness take me where *it* needs to go on its way to the Heart - as a natural part of life’s unfolding…

This does not mean that I am always sad, or wallowing in sadness here. I’m just experiencing how she dances in and out of being. It’s simply sadness – a feeling. Or one could say – simply “sading” - a verb, not an identity. Feelings are just different colors, different shades of Life living Itself, dancing to different tunes.

What color are you dancing to today?

Art: Gray Swirls
Craypas Oil Sticks

On the Threshold...

Coming to the “end” of another cycle of time, another wrinkle in timelessness, I am feeling like I’m on the threshold – of what I don’t know – just that feeling of “something” intangible, unknowable, where everything stops for a moment in time – the still-point – before allowing “me” to move, to take the next step more deeply into the “Mystery” - however we all know that to be for ourselves…

This year has certainly provided many opportunities for looking more deeply into my heart and mind, and all the baggage that has been packed away there. And more opportunities to see the thread of Awareness that runs through them, that I must admit I did not always *see* - but instead got caught up in the waves and stories of life as they crashed through my nicely erected walls, trying to break through the veils of illusions that confined me.

There were many things that knocked on this door this year that were not welcome visitors, but ones which I had to let in anyway and offer them my time and attention as they each offered me an invitation to open to The Heart more and more. I can’t say I was successful in the least, but cracks opened in the walls allowing more light to get in. Isn’t that how the light gets in, through the cracks and crevices that life events tend to leave behind? Or so Leonard Cohen says.

Everyone in my family experienced life changing events this year - little cracks in their walls. It started with my brother nearly being killed in a skiing accident in February. Then just 2 and ½ weeks later in March, my sister broke her back as she jumped off her second story balcony to escape domestic violence. She is nearly fully recovered by the way, physically and emotionally, and is now living with my mother, hoping to find employment in January. My mother underwent two eye surgeries this year - leaving this strong willed woman dependent, requiring my presence nearly 24/7 until my sister moved in. These life events challenged me in ways I never expected physically, emotionally and spiritually. My old issues of being the rescuer, and feeling responsible for caretaking everything and everyone emerged for a look-see. Many freeing opportunities there.

And last, but not least, my husband’s consulting, web development, videography and video editing businesses were unable to keep us afloat and the ship sank leaving us bankrupt. Now that was a crack I could have done without. I thought those cracks were supposed to let light in, not water! But there it was, life as it is – sinking, cracks opening wider and wider – the light, or should I say, the waters gushing through the crevices. And all I could do was let go of all my ideas of how life was supposed to turn out. I’m still learning to live life as it is… This is a harder opening…

And then there were the softer openings that opened this heart to more Light: the “Window Sitting” and all the wonderful insights that came through the Window. Yeay! I can hardly wait for Spring to come so I can get back to the Window. And of course, “The Cave” for the winter months – where I am learning to meet the deeper, darker spaces, like fear, anger, and uncertainty. And where I’m also deepening into Silence, Stillness, the Light of Awareness, and the Heart of the Cosmos - some nights better than others at this point. And, best of all, getting to know new blogger friends sharing this Path – or no-path as the case may be – as we follow the Stream of Life, in whatever ways we do…

I am especially grateful for my blogger friends. You have inspired me with your blog posts and comments! Sanity in a sea of insanity. Reminders in moments of unconsciousness. Inspirations that lifted me and allowed me to *see.* Wonderful Heart Openers you all are, and I am so grateful for your Presence! I know many of you have also faced some really deep challenges this year as well, surfing the waves of life. I admire each of you for your courage and openness to the way things are, in the face of the unexpected directions life tends to take… You have been the invitation to open this heart to do the same.

And just a note on the picture here. :) I decided to post the picture of the mouse in the maze again (from the Freedom post) because it reminds me of the way life feels sometimes, like an endless maze. We try to find a way out, to find that one opening that will set us free and end our suffering. But sometimes instead of following the well-worn pathways that go nowhere, we have to lift our heads up and look over our self-created walls, and see that what we wanted (The Big Cheese, Enlightenment, The End of Suffering, Awareness, Love, Freedom, Life) is already right there, just waiting for us to notice – even if it doesn’t look the way we expected it to. I’m still learning this one!

Heart Hugs to you all!

~*~

Heart Window Opening

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=BGODurRfVv4

We all need a little inspiration now and then,
and a reminder to just be who we are;

to know that we are loved the way we are...

Click on the link under the picture for a heart-opening video :)

Heart Openers

I’ve been noticing that there seems to be more reasons to cry these days. The state of the world, child abuse, poverty, the spiritual ignorance of people in power, fires, floods, tornadoes, and the global economy are reasons enough to shut down and turn off. But what I’m talking about here are the things that touch my heart and open it – although for some certainly the above would do that.

For me it is the little things, not the global issues that I can easily distance myself from, that touch me in a way that breaks my heart open. For instance, several months ago on the news they did a human interest story about blind people who were being taught how to march in a marching band while playing their instruments. Volunteers led blind people through marching routines, guiding them gently from behind with hands on shoulders or hips, to give them the feel of where their bodies needed to be while they were playing. It was heart warming enough to realize that these blind people were actually playing a musical instrument. But the fact that a group of volunteers would help them to have an experience of marching in a band just blew me away. Their blindness did not stop them from experiencing their expression of life. Wow. And it was facilitated by those willing to be available to them – to help them realize their possibilities. It opened my heart…

Then recently I went to the pet store to get cat food for our cat – Yodi Bhodi. While there I spotted the adoption area where there were cats who had been abandoned by their owners – for whatever reason – in cages. They were listless, blank eyed, like their spirits were gone. (I had given a cat to a shelter several years ago when we had to move out of state.) Some of the younger ones were meowing, wanting to be taken away – to be held and loved. My heart broke open. I wanted to take them all home. But rationality took over, as well as knowing that Yodi would not allow another cat in his territory after nearly 18 years of being an “only child.” I left the store nearly in tears. My heart ached open… I went home and hugged my cat a little closer as he patiently waited for the moment of affection to end, not wanting to ruin his reputation as ‘cat of the house.’

And then there’s kindness. Recently while grocery shopping, I was standing in the produce section, picking through the potatoes, trying to find ones that weren’t green and soft. There was another woman there at the bin, doing the same thing. In a soft English accent she said – “they don’t look too good do they?” There was such kindness in her voice, it took me by surprise. Suddenly I wanted to cry. My heart stirred open… I hadn’t expected a stranger to make a connection. The kindness of her connection touched my heart and opened it for a moment. I responded, and then quietly slipped away – as if shocked by the encounter. But the exchange touched my heart and left a lasting imprint.

I think some of us in pursuit of “spirituality” or “enlightenment” have often gotten the idea that we need to distance from our feelings, even run from them – or “spiritualize” them. I know I have - trying to stay neutral when a feeling arises, to be “spiritual”, to step back from the feeling inside and observe, almost as if it was someone else’s experience. Even the concept of being present to feelings is sometimes done to not actually feel them. And while I don’t want to collapse into my feelings, indulge in them – well sometimes - and allow them to overtake me, there is something authentic in allowing and expressing the feelings that arise in the moment that makes me more open to others, more vulnerable and less detached. Feelings, as I have discovered, open the heart. When seen with the eyes of the Heart, they give the opportunity to open to what is deeper, underneath the feeling.

The longing of the Heart is for connection and kindness, and so it responds to these expressions – with feelings. Can we be open enough to allow these feelings in, to touch us, to open us to be real with ourselves and others… It seems that it's not the big events necessarily, but the "everydayness" of life that offers these opportunities, that softly invites us to open.

My other Heart openers are: Violins - Genuine Philanthropy - People who follow their Passion – Deer - Bunny Rabbits in the yard, when they’re not eating my plants - Good Spiritual Teachers – Laughter - Grief: mine and others - Genuine Compassion – The Blog and Buddha Art at ZenDotStudio.

What are your Heart Openers? Let me know… seriously…

Heart Smiles – MeANderi
http://www.aserenitysanctuary.com/