The Inner Voice - Janet Conner

There is a Voice inside you.
There is a Voice inside everyone.
Whether you hear it or not, the Voice is there.
Whether you acknowledge it or not, 
the Voice is there.
Whether you ask for help or ignore its guidance,
the Voice is still there.  

Waiting.
It is waiting for you to stop,
if just for a moment, and listen.
The Voice is always there, guiding you,
encouraging you, loving you...
Pick up your pen and penetrate the thin wall
of consciousness that keeps you apart...
Once you start asking for more you will start 
receiving more:
more ideas, more intuition, more inspiration,
more wisdom, more opportunities,
more challenges, and more questions.
Always, there are more questions.
The answers live deep inside the questions.

Janet Conner
from: Writing Down Your Soul

with thanks to Heron Dance

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

My mother's and grandmother's
writing desk, at sunset...  Now topped with
assorted baubles :)

 

Pause...

I'm taking a pause for a while...
My life has become way too complicated at this time,
and I need to pause and wait for clarity and inspiration
to arise...  My life has become unbalanced in body, mind
and Soul, and I need some time to find the balance - to align
myself with inner Source and inner resources - intuition and
inspiration.  I haven't been able to write poetry because I have
been unable to be in a place of listening deeply, or hearing the
voice of The Beloved, the Eternal within.

Life has taken me down many roads I did not want to go down
in the past year or more, and I need to find my own way again -
if I can...

In the words of Mark Nepo, in his book: Seven Thousand
Ways to Listen: Staying Close to What is Sacred, he says: 
  "he had to listen to something he couldn't see and trust
the certainty of his inner knowing to find his way..."

That is where I am...  There is a shift underfoot...

Would appreciate your prayers and blessings, if you feel so
inclined, as I lean into life...  And feel free to contact me through
email, or the comment section - if you your Heart pulls you to do so...

Peace and Blessings...
I'll be back :)

MM

 

Time is Limited - Steve Jobs

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living
someone else's life. Don't be trapped by
dogma. which is living the results of other
people's thinking.  Don't let the noise of others'
opinions drown out your inner voice.  And 
most importantly, have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition.  They somehow
already know what you truly want...

Steve Jobs

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

A Sliver of Reality - Kim Manly Ort

Our experiences and consequently our perceptions, gives us
a limited view of the world, a sliver of reality, if you will.
It's a valid sliver, but only a sliver.  Thought of in this way,
It's a wonder any of us can find similarities of experience
and understanding with others...

I'm all about seeing clearly, but each of us sees clearly differently,
depending on our identity (selected experience) and worldview.
For the past couple of years, I've been noticing what others
choose to believe and asking why.  I'm not exactly sure what to do
with some of the differences I have have difficulty understanding
or even how to talk to someone with a completely different
worldview.  I certainly have my own way of seeing and I find
some worldviews mind-boggling.  However, it's always a good
idea to question your own sliver of reality.

The Role of "Chance"

The musician and composer, John Cage, thought of "chance" as
something that happened to us, but also as something you could
invite into your life.  Why would you do that?  Because, if you
operate according to your own will or our story of how things are
or should be, you eliminate possibilities.

Cage invited "chance" into his life and [art].  The idea was to give
his will, his wants, his desired outcome a break and let "chance"
make a decision.  By using what he called "chance operations", he
could destroy his narrative, his particular point of view.  It's not that
his point of view wasn't worthy, just that it was limited and there
were a multiplicity of points of view he many not have considered.
It's a mindset where he let things be as they are without imposing
his own judgments on them.

Life is a dance with "chance"; always uncertain, often out of our
control, and this is scary.  We can embrace it, as John Cage did.
Whenever we feel our ego or rigid story is in charge, or we're
resisting reality and forming judgments, it's time to get curious
and ask questions like: "How else can I look at this?" or "What
other choice could I make?"  Why not let things be, invite "chance"
in, and explore the many possibilities that arise.

Kim Manly Ort
Writer, Photographer, Workshop Facilitator

~

"Life is like a box of chocolates,
you never know what you're going to get."

Forrest Gump

~

Personal Note:  What John Cage and Kim refer to as "Chance" I call
"The Mystery."  Some call it "Spirit", or even Intuition; tapping
into something greater than my self for Inspiration...  My husband
sees each day as a new life experience that offers a portal to Eternity,
if we let it, even the mundane, like mowing the lawn.  Sometimes he
will randomly choose from a list of possibilities for the day, or do
what he feels drawn to do that day.  Is that "chance" or opening to
the Field of "The Mystery" - or his own Intuition?  He says:
Intuition is the mainline to "The Universe."  It's how "The Universe"
communicates.  It's the flow of awareness that comes from
"The  Universe."

~

John Cage (1912-1992) was an American composer, music theorist,
writer, philosopher, and artist.  Cage studied Indian philosophy and
Zen Buddhism in the late 1940's, and the I Ching was a source of
reference for him, using it as a "random chance generator", as well
as a philosophical reference.

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
Moon and reflection in skylight 
a portal to eternity? :)

 

A Creative Universe - Thomas Berry

Empirical inquiry into the universe reveals that from its
beginnings in the galactic system to its earthly expression
in human consciousness the universe carries within itself
a spiritual as well as physical dimension.  Otherwise human
consciousness emerges out of nowhere.  In reality the human
activates the most profound dimension of the universe itself,
its capacity to reflect on and celebrate itself in conscious
self-awareness.

[we need to]...establish a deeper understanding of the spiritual
dynamics of the universe as revealed through our own empirical
insight into the mysteries of its functioning...

When we create, it is not purely out of ourselves, but out of
a continuation of the creativity of the universe...


Thomas Berry
From: Dream of the Earth

with thanks to Heron Dance

~

Intuition is the mainline to the Universe. It's how the
Universe communicates.  It's the flow of Awareness
that comes from the Universe...

my husband :)

~

Photo from the Internet

 

Unchangingness - Kathleen Knipp

Sustain your own refuge...
Rest in your inner sanctuary when the storm hits...
Be pulled toward your own North star...

Access whatever it is that helps you to feel at ease,
to feel safe, to let down your guard, to experience
equanimity...

Use imagery finding your way home...

The path becomes very intuitive, and profoundly resting...
Contracting thoughts, emotions and somatic sensations
happen against a backdrop of unchangingness...

Kathleen Knipp
Excerpts from a Yoga Nidra meditation

~

If you're looking for a little sanity in this insane world,
in these challenging times, you might find these Yoga Nidra
meditations by Kathleen Knipp, of Pathless Yoga, helpful in
sustaining your equanimity and sense of peace...

https://pathlessyoga.com/listen/

scroll down to see Kathleen's audio meditations

~

The last time I checked, the rest of the Universe is in 
good shape.  It's just Earth that's got the problem...

Neil deGrass Tyson

 

Awe - Abraham Joshua Heschel

Awe is an intuition for the dignity of all things, a realization
that things not only are what they are but also stand, however
remotely, for something supreme.  Awe is a sense for the
transcendence, for the reference everywhere to mystery
beyond all things. It enables us to perceive in the world
intimations of the divine...to sense the ultimate in the
common and the simple; to feel in the rush of the passing
the stillness of the eternal.  What we cannot comprehend
by analysis, we become aware of in awe.

Abraham Joshua Heschel

with thanks to Whiskey River

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Attend to Inner Silence - Adyashanti

...attend to the inner silence of your being is what Being itself
calls you to do.  In many ways, silence is the greatest teacher
and most wise teaching.  The call of the heart never confines
itself to the mind's ideas...  It follows the impulse of silent
intuition, which is so much better aligned with what the
moment dictates.  Leave the mind to do what it is best at,
and look to the wisdom born of silence for inner guidance
relating to things of the spirit.

Adyashanti

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

The Well at the Core of Your Soul - Fred LaMotte

The golden wellspring of your intuition is the true Master,
the true Guru, the true spiritual Friend.  Any "spiritual teacher"
or guide who does not lead you to this well [within], and
invite you to drink from it, is no one to follow.  Why should
you pay money, or give away your power, to someone to tell
you what you can only learn from your own intuition?  When
the true Teacher reveals the wellspring at the core of your
being, he, or she, walks away silently, and leaves you to gaze
into the waters of your own infinite Shakti, the unfathomable
healing waters of your power.....the trembling ripples of silence
into the stars.

And when you want to sit with that Teacher, or with the Christ,
or with any of the Rishis, you will find them here, sitting by
the well.  Not in any temple or ashram, but here, in the golden
radiance of the hollow spring at the core of your soul...

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Spirit and Mind - Etty Hillesum

Spirit and mind should feed each other.  What you must
not do is rely on some external certainty, and that means
being secure in yourself and at peace with yourself, but
also that your mind is allowed to explore what makes life
hang together, not because you want to achieve something
or you want to succeed at something that interests you, but
because you happen to have been created with a passionate
and honest concern for what goes on in the world, and
above all for what goes on in your inner world.

You shouldn't live on your brains alone but on deeper, more
abiding sources...  You should gratefully accept your brains
as a precious tool for delving into what problems your soul
brings forth... And have ever greater trust in intuition...

Etty Hillesum
from: Etty Hillesum - Essential Writings

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
Quartz Crystal with reflection of light

Into The Forest Alone...

"The Forest" traditionally is a threshold symbol of entering
the unknown, the deeper nature, or the spiritual world.  In
fairy tales it usually represents a passage though difficulties
and an opportunity for "transformation" of some kind.  I also
see it as a sanctuary, refuge, a place of deepening.  This
entering the "Dark Forest" happens sometimes when I have
lost (intentionally or otherwise) the framework which gives
structure to my life, when I must find my own way, and be
true to the call of Self,  Shamans, poets, holy men and women
sought refuge in the forest, as a healing place.  Going into
The Forest represents a return to the Primordial Self - beyond
societal, cultural, conceptual and spiritual frameworks.  In a
way, it is like returning to the child's heart of innocence -
just following the longing of the Heart once again; trusting
that I will emerge from "The Dark Forest" with clarity.  As a
child I often went into the forest next to our house as a place
just to sit, to listen and commune with nature, and write
poetry.  It was a place of directly experiencing what I knew
then to be "God."  Now known by other names...

And, since I don't have a "Dark Forest" handy, and I am spooked
by the things that go bump in the night, my Forest will have to
be that interior space of Silent Awareness - navigating the inner
Forest of the Unknown - as well as the unknown difficult
practicalities of everyday living.

I am willing, I say inwardly, to enter the Unknown - the Forest.
To trust Intuition to take me through.  I am ready to step over
the threshold and see where the Unknown takes me...

Care to join me :)  Are you willing...

~

"The familiar horizon has been outgrown;
the old concepts, ideals,
and emotional patterns no longer fit.
The time for the passing of a threshold
is at hand.

You enter the forest at the darkest point,
where there is no path.
Where there's a way or a path,
it is someone else's path;  each human being
is a unique phenomenon.

The idea is to find your own way..."

Joseph Campbell

~

Midway upon the journey of life
I found myself within a dark forest,
for the straightforward pathway
had been lost...

Dante Alighieri
The Inferno

~

Also see my post The Pathless Path

Surrender to Wholeness - Fred LaMotte

Surrender to wholeness.
There is no escape.
Refuse to be divided.
Rebel against any force
that would diminish or
entice you to choose
one view against its opposite.

For it is never that one side
is enlightened and the other ignorant.
Ignorance is the antipathy itself,
the separation of wholeness into
polarized opponents.

There are choices, but they are
momentary and intuitive,

never frozen into ideology.
Therefore, revolt against
every ideologue, every divider,
who would lure you into the
toxic but delicious energy of
blame and judgment.
Blame and judgment are not
actions, but re-actions.
And re-action means
endless entrapment...

Act from  the silence of
the unified field,
dynamically at ease
in the Heart...

Rebel ruthlessly yet gently...

Surrender and rebellion are
one and the same...

Fred LaMotte

excerpt from the blog post:
Surrender to Wholeness
(his words, my format)

~

Photo - through the bottom of a glass

Intuition as Mystical Illumination - Henri Bergson

The real world, the world revealed during mystical illumination,
is not like our everyday world and within it our everyday ways
of knowing and understanding simply don't work.

...the philosopher Henri Bergson realized this earlier in the century.
Bergson argued that while excellent for enabling us to maneuver
through the world, the intellect is not very good at grasping reality,
When we try to do this, it slips through our fingers.

What is time?  Where does space end?
Our minds are numb when faced with these questions...

What is needed for this, Bergson said, was intuition, which is a way
of getting inside the world, knowing it from within.  The
 intellect looks at things from the outside and analyzes experience
 into parts. That is good for obvious uses, but it is useless if we
want to grasp the reality [nature] of things.  The intellect falsifies
 reality to a great extent in order to make it manageable...

What seems to happen in mystical moments is that we see the world
through intuition, not intellect...

From: Gary Lackman - Beyond the Robot: The Life and Work of
Colin Wilson

Henri Bergson (1859 - 1941) was a French Philosopher
He is known for his influential arguments that processes of
immediate experience and intuition are more significant than
abstract rationalism for understanding reality.

Intuition - the act or faculty of knowing without the use of
rational processes; immediate cognition.  Sharp insight...

And I would also add a personal note here:
There are different comprehensions of reality
because of the limitations of the mind/intellect;
different ways of seeing the same reality;
different ways of perceiving the same reality.

It is a fallacy to believe that there is no "other" world,
when Quantum Physics has proved there is a subtle,
energetic world that infuses and informs this reality.
There is a "mystery" behind all this - and not just the "this"
that we see - but something behind what we see with our
superficial seeing...
Who/What is seeing...
All is not what it seems...

~

Photo - rainbow lights on a wall... :)

The Divine Spot...

Breathe into the bindu of the Heart,
The Divine Spot...

Let your whole body sink into
the quiet rhythm in the space
between the in-breath
and the out-breath,
the sacred point of the cosmos
where the Divine jewel dwells;
the Ineffable, the Unknowable,
the Unspeakable
Space of Pure Being...

If you are aware, you will feel
The Presence
pouring Its
exquisite vibration
through
the Heart -
a vibration so subtle
it is barely perceptible
by the gross senses.
Felt only through the nuance of
intuition and body instinct
and attentive noticing;
a faint tingling
a calm or stillness,
joy or bliss
tickling the Heart,
reverberating throughout
the body,
as if the Heart itself is
"waking up"
inside you;
the Deeper Heart
the Spiritual Heart
the abode of Illumination.

Experience the deep contentment of
Divine Ananda
as the burden of fear
that you have carried all your life
falls away;
if only for this moment.

Feel the pure, sweet "neutrality" of
deep contentment of Being
Just Being
Just Breathing
Just Living -
from the vibration of the Heart.

Keep your "inner eyes" ever on
the Divine Spot,
The Elixir of Life...

Mystic Meandering
April 8, 2017

Emergence...

For some reason I’ve “gone dark” as they say – meaning – the words are just not there.  Perhaps I have found another means of expression…   Monday I started a 5 week intuitive painting class on line by Bloom True with artist Flora Bowley that has daily lessons 6 days a week, and two “painting days” a week.  In the first day’s opening introduction I knew I was on a journey of Emergence *through* painting.  She talked of embracing the Heart’s Wisdom, and opening to the Heart and painting intuitively, listening to what wants to emerge.  I knew right away that it was going to be much more than just an “art class.”  It is about really listening deeply to the Inner Voice *through* painting.  And – for me - so far - it’s been about uncovering deeper and deeper layers within that I hadn’t realized were there.  It’s been a very emotional process, and I’ve only just begun!

Her process is about building layer upon layer of paint, one on top of the other – allowing it all to intuitively emerge with each layer. It also includes meditations, journaling, self-awareness, intuitive exercises and a body-centered approach to connecting with the paint and canvas through music and movement – a body-mind-spirit connection.  Flora says, “when we disconnect from the Heart’s Wisdom, a more ego-based intellect starts to run the show.”  She also says that “what your issues are will emerge right away.”  I am experiencing that already in my first ever attempt at painting on canvas – the mind wanting to control what is happening, anxious of the uncertainty, wanting to get it “right” the first time, instead of just allowing what wants to emerge to emerge.  It has actually been “nerve wracking” experience this first week as I step into this unknown territory, not knowing what to expect, and feeling like I *should* know what to do…  Ah, there it is - the emergence of a life long pattern – fear of the unknown, of what will emerge if I open up and just let go of control…  I can see there will be many opportunities for opening and letting go through the creative process - opening to deeply held emotions, opening to intuition, opening to the Heart, opening to the depths of Being - *trusting* the process.  As I’m discovering art, like life, is about getting in touch with different layers of experience…

I call this first one “Emergence” – for obvious reasons I think. J  As I experimented with paints what emerged were long stems with what appears like fingers reaching upward… The photo above is only a partial picture. Unfortunately the photos of the whole painting didn’t come out well enough to post, but this gives you an idea of the colors and image.  It has a very metaphorical feeling for me, as once again I find myself in transition from one form to another – emerging from the depths, reaching into the unknown... 

Imbolc: Fire-Light

I am re-discovering the Fire-Light that wants to come to life here;
that wants to express, to give voice,
and not be constrained by “spiritual” conundrums.
The Light that Lives –
without mentations and cogitations of words and concepts
that cloud and dim its Light…

~

Interesting that this is arising for me at Imbolc –
the cross quarter day between the Winter Solstice
and the Spring Equinox.
Celtic tradition has it that Imbolc is celebrated
in preparation of “giving birth”,
in anticipation of the birth of Spring.

~

I’ve actually been feeling this inner Fire for a long time –
pushing through, coming alive, wanting to thrive,
threatening to consume “me;”
creating a combination of excitement and apprehension…

It’s a threshold kind of feeling,
like Imbolc, the threshold of “re-birth”,
of rekindling the inner Light;
the intuitive inner compass Light of the Heart;
the inner Fire-Light that is the expression of Being ItSelf...

I see a spark of light shining…
Alegria!


In the meantime, I intend to in-JOY the remaining days of winter,
tending the faint light until it ignites into the Flame...

Warm Winter Blessings!


top photo: sun through frost on window
bottom photo: street light through frost

The Mystery in Geese

The other morning I was standing at the kitchen sink, puttsing. I happened to look up and out the window just as a very small flock of Canadian Geese flew over the roof top of the house behind us – maybe 150 feet away, close enough to bedazzle me and make my heart swoon… Yep, I’m a sap for Geese – especially Canadian Geese. I feel drawn to them. The sight of geese flying fascinates me. It was unusual to see them flying so low and so close. I followed them as long as I could, which wasn’t long as they were soon out of view flying below the tree tops. I wondered where they were going – probably a source of water, or a field. We have a lot of open fields and park areas around here with ponds, which draws them in. I felt a resonance – like a kindred spirit…

This week I have also had a familiar “visitor.” My “friend” anxiety and her close cousins jittery and antsy have been constant visitors for 3 days now – keeping me rather frazzled and frozen. It’s really time for them to leave. You know the old saying – fish and company get old after 3 days. I know these are deeply laid neuronal and energy patterns that keep running their groove when triggered by health and body issues, along with assorted other life stresses. And then I get anxious about the anxiety and off we go. The adrenals are now on over-drive, and every little thing now sets off the anxiety loop.

It’s amazing to me that I could have the previous insights about the nature of Existence with its constant fluidity and be caught in this frozen tundra of anxiety. When it comes it feels like an intense spiraling of energy winding its way through my body – contracting me - leaving me spent, unable to function. Maybe that’s why I hear the geese calling to me. It’s like a homing call to be free…

So I went in search of geese today, to watch and observe – to feel their call and sense their freedom. Geese seem to have a simplicity that attracts me. They innately know where to go, are content to fly wherever they need to, and are unaffected by the externals of life. Maybe that’s what draws me – being unaffected, undisturbed, by the externals of life – content to just Be – having an innate sense of knowing how to move through life – like all of nature.

I wonder why “we” humans have seemingly lost that instinctive, intuitive *sense* of knowing how to move *with* Life, with the natural Rhythms, with the Flow – how to live in harmony with Self - content. It seems to be the thinking mind that screws us up, that causes such inner conflict and turmoil. How interesting that we keep following the mind instead of our True Nature. (Not that the mind is an “enemy.” I like having the ability to think. It just doesn’t seem to know when to quit!).

The “spiritual teachers” say that all you need do is *identify as* Consciousness/Awareness and these “things” will subside – the mind will essentially “stop” and inner conflict will cease. This hasn’t been my experience – or maybe I just haven’t made “the shift” – which then keeps me searching for “the shift”, thinking I need to “get it” in order to be free of anxiety. It seems like that’s a set up for never feeling like I “got it” when I feel the twinge of anxiety or some other feeling deemed to be “unenlightened.”

So – how to be more like a goose…

They don’t obsess about health issues. They don’t worry about financial issues, or where they’re going, or how they’re going to get there. They just do. They innately know how. They innately know how to be a goose. So why am I having such a hard time *being* Who I AM!? - this fluid Conscious alive Awareness… How strange this cerebral cortex that seems to keep a lot of us from deeply *knowing*/experiencing who we innately ARE – the Pure Conscious Awareness that we constantly seek after (called the spiritual search) as if it’s somewhere else. What a strange way to live – this unknowing of and constant search for what we innately are…

So I keep watching my geese friends – simply living, deeply, innately themselves, deeply content, aligned with their Nature – instinctively knowing how to fly – following the Homing call…

Honk >> >>> >>>>

Curiosity, Intuition and Fluidity

This space of “waiting for the ‘Yes’" that I wrote about in the last post has been an interesting experience. There’s a feeling of freedom here. It’s like a new playing field has opened up. There’s a new sense of being open and playful with Life, seeing where Life wants to go, seeing that it’s all Life doing the doing, and so there’s more curiosity about Life and how it’s expressing Itself – how it’s moving and being open to how it’s moving. And so there’s a deeper listening, if you will, to the Inner Voice that some call Intuition, some call Spirit… And amongst all this there is also the realization of how I have become a Curmudgeon – grumbling and complaining – and trying to control how life has been happening, or resisting what’s been happening, instead of staying open to this inner fluidity of Life moving Itself.

In this space of “listening” a curiosity and an inner sense of “connection” with the fluidity of Life has emerged, with the Flow that underlies existence – being in touch with the deeper Flow within – and a curious and intuitive sense of how to move with it.

And I have been noticing that what I need to hear does in fact come to me in this Flow – things that eerily reflect my experience…

For instance, earlier this past week I just happened to check out Annette Nibley’s Website, and read her January Writing. Certain phrases began to emerge: “…move with What Is …with fluidity and intuition. Be curious. Be fluid. Go with whatever sparks your interest. There is a way to move with a subtler, inner world…..explore it. There are no constraints, and this is freedom. All is Self. This completely frees this life for impersonal play. It is the force of Self that actually propels you.”

It was music to my ears. I listened deeply and felt a sense of freedom flooding in…

Wednesday evening I listened to Adyashanti’s Café Dharma online satsang. Initially there didn’t appear to be anything there for me. But again, certain phrases popped as he was speaking: “Surrender your resistance to what is. See the Divine in the ups and downs of life. Surrendering completely to the moment allows us to spontaneously perceive a whole different reality – to see the peace that is there. Don’t let your non-dual philosophies about life get in the way. Let go of your *idea* of it. It’s all simultaneous Existence.”

More opening into a fluid sense of living…

Thursday evening I listened to an audio recording of a “spiritual teacher” that I have been listening to for over a year now. For several months now I have been feeling a lack of resonance with what is being said. This time I intuitively knew that it was time to move on. There was no ‘Yes’ here anymore.

I realized that sometimes in “waiting for the ‘Yes’” you get a ‘No’ – which is still fluid and open – and still takes you to where you need to go.

Yesterday I logged onto Tammi Brannen’s video blog on her Instinctive Life Website. Now I don’t normally listen to “motivational” type teachers, but my husband has been listening to this woman for several months now and I was curious. So my curiosity led me to where I needed to hear something that profoundly spoke to me. Once again I discovered that it doesn’t always come though the “normal channels” that I expect it to come through – like the “spiritual teachers” that I normally read or listen to, or the particular “path” that I’m following at any given time. But I’m noticing that if I am open and curious I may find Life speaking to me in profound ways. In her blog Tammi said: “Live the life that is true to who you are. There is a connection between who you are and your life. Do they match? How does life want to be lived? What is life showing you, offering you? Don’t approach life in terms of what you want or need, but focus on being absorbed by life. Open and receive what the Ocean of Life has to offer and ride it.”

Another opening to fluidity.

The combined messages I heard this week had a profound impact - all reflecting where I am and what I need to hear in a kind of Divine Synchroncity. “The Mystery” was fluidly and playfully dancing with me this week – leaving a universal thread running through everything I encountered. All I had to do was be open and listen.

Fun-Qi Art™ - :) Christine

Waiting for the 'Yes'...

I am in what feels like an ‘in-between’ space. I don’t know what other word to use. Maybe – transition, internally. Neither here nor there. Finding no place to land actually – which actually is a “good” thing – not *identifying* with anything in particular. It also feels like an “open” space. Yes, that sounds right. I’m experiencing an “open space” – if you will – feeling more openness – suddenly paying attention to the subtleties of Life - rediscovering intuition – a hidden partner that hasn’t always been available, but who seems to want to make an appearance. Opening to the more subtle ways of things – an innocent awareness of the subtle – just remaining open to what is being offered and how it comes to me… This is a different orientation than what I’m used to.

It’s kind of like listening for a whisper. You know you hear something, but you can’t quite make it out. So you wait – and listen.

That’s what it feels like too – a place of waiting – internally. My external life is anything but still and subtle. In fact it is accelerating in ways that I hadn’t anticipated. But internally there’s this growing sense of “stillness-waiting” – of listening. It’s like I’m on hold, or on pause – just waiting for the ‘Yes’ - except that life is in fact busy and getting busier, chaotic even, and there is lots and lots of action. But the ‘Yes’ seems to be about a different kind of movement.

Maybe I write about Awareness and Stillness because these are what I need in these chaotic times – being pulled in many directions with many distractions; not having significant, quality meditation times. And so except for where life pulls me at the moment – I wait, internally, in stillness – for the ‘Yes’ – for the internal movement.

Maybe you feel this too – this push and pull of daily living, and yet there’s an internal waiting for the next move, the next awareness, the next opening into what awaits – the Unknown.

The page is turning and I don’t have a clue what the next page will bring in this novel I’m living. But it’s quite a page-turner! And for some reason I’m becoming okay with it. Instead of feeling my usual dread, I’m beginning to feel an almost willing anticipation, a willing participation, rather than my normal frustration and resistance. I’m beginning to *want* to *see* where Life goes next. This is strange for someone who likes structure, security, certainty and stability….

I’m tired of the old worn out ways, and am wanting a new way of being in the world – something more fluid.

At the same time I wonder if I can stay open, aware and still enough for Life to touch me in new ways – to see with new eyes as it unfolds… This remains to be seen. For today I am ‘stillness-waiting’, in the in-between open space – receptive, listening for the whisper – waiting for the ‘Yes.’

Photo – Bill Kennedy

Reflection off the hood of the car

Photo flipped 180.