The Natural State - U G Krishnamurti

 The natural state is not the state of a self-realized God-realized 
man. It is not a thing to be achieved or attained, it is not a thing
to be willed into existence; it is there - it is the living state.
This state is just the functional activity of life.  By 'life' I do not
mean something abstract; it is the life of the senses, functioning
naturally without the interference of thought.

This state is a state of not knowing; you really don't know what
you are looking at.  I may look at the clock on the wall for half
an hour - still I do not read the time.  I don't know it is a clock.
All there is inside is wonderment.  The whole of my being is
like a single, big question mark.  It is a state of wonder, of
wondering, because I just do not know...  The knowledge of it -
all I have learned - is held in the background...

You can never understand the tremendous peace that is always
there within you, that is your natural state.  Your trying to
create a peaceful state of mind is in fact creating disturbance
within you.  You can only talk of peace, create a state of mind
and say to yourself that you are very peaceful - but that is not
peace.  So there is no use in practicing peace, there is no reason
to practice silence.  Real silence is not a dead state of mind that
spiritual seekers think. Silence is bubbling all the time - the 
energy, the life - that is its quality.  You may ask how I know.
I don't know.  Life is aware of itself, if we can put it that way -
it is conscious of itself...

UG Krishnamurti

with thanks to No Mind's Land

~

Our  Luminous Essence
is,just waiting to be discovered...

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

The Disguise...

 "She" - the Cosmic Primal Energy of all Life -
is hidden among us in the disguises She wears...

She" - the Primordial One,
Sometimes conceals Herself
Sometimes reveals Herself
through everyone as they are:
all expressions of Herself
in disguise...

Through this mystery we find
our way back to Who we are -
by simply being ourselves,
the Natural expression of ourselves...

And you recognize, at the core of your Being,
that you are Her - the Primordial One,
disguised in a body, playing yourself...

Mystic Meandering

March 7, 2021

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Infinite Hunger - Alan Watts

Man is characterized by a hunger for the infinite.....
 which, whether he knows it or  not,
 can be nothing other than God.  Assuming God exists,
it will follow that God is man's true end...

...man is often mistaken as to the goal of his life, desiring
wealth, power or physical pleasure instead of God.  But
his real appetite continues to be God, for which lesser
goals are always unsatisfactory substitutes.

Alan Watts

via - The Beauty We Love

~

God isn't *a* being, but a state of Being,
and we are that state of Being.  It is our
Essence...

Author Unknown

~

"Our *real* appetite is for God" - as one understands
"God" - has been my experience since childhood.
The deepest longing of the Heart has always been for "God",
called by many names over the years; Love, Pure Awareness,
 Consciousness, The Divine, Pure Being, The Self, The Mystery,
The Silence, etc. The longing  turns out to be "God" calling ItSelf
back to ItSelf.  I am forever grateful that the longing continues
to be there - drawing me ever inward to the "God Space" -
to ItSelf...

MM

~

Photo from the Internet

Zero - Jeannie Zandi

There is something that does not move no matter what comes,
no matter what will be lost.

I like to call it zero.  It's sitting in zero [the still point as TS Eliot
calls it].  It's sitting in Being.  It's so slow that it has stopped. And
it has a fierce fidelity to what is authentically unfolding in the
moment out of Being.  Here we stand with what's being born in
its tiny infancy, authentic and shyly showing itself, birthed from
Being.  No care for what it can be used for, where it's going, what
it means about you, me or someone else.  It simply stands without
a name, without a use, standing with that moment because it's
precious, because it's the Holy unfolding itself.

  We blow past the subtle petals of our unfolding, and
this holy birthing that's happening all the time through us.
But What emerges authentically is Holy.

In Being, we're not manipulating anything.  We're not trying
to go anywhere.  We're not trying to heal anything.  We follow
the thread of what's alive and we behold it in reverent silence,
even if every egoic hand wants to grasp it and turn it into
something.  The Holy is shining and peeking its head out...

We are not shown how to stay with the natural expression of
unfolding through us, though we were born knowing it.  As
we grew up, no one saw it, no one reflected it, stood with it,
protected it, had faith in it.....simply because it was.  We were
left in concept-land, zooming over our actual life; our own
organic unfolding.  Now we're stuck in our everyday minds
with our will trying to build something out of concept that
will never be as solid as what the Holy organically reveals.

We can stand in what emerges naturally from Being.  We
can slow down to the speed of Being, which is zero.  It has
nothing to show for itself.  It's simply a miracle as it is.
Everything that is zero is true.

It is Beingness flowing into Beingness. 
When we sit in zero [Being] there is only zero [Being],
and even what moves is still.  At some point you start to feel
 it as yourself.   It starts to wake in you...

  Stay true to the speed of Being.  Don't move unless Being
 moves [you], because you cannot leave that place and offer
anything real, and you're sick to death of ["spiritual"] manipulation
 and skipping over what's actually, purely and humbly here.

It's our zero, like a big dark hole
in the center of us that we thought was our problem. 
It's actually a portal to the Holy.  And through that empty
space of Being the Holy paints the world.

  But... we have forgotten -
how to rest as zero and stand in what's simple and authentic.
And out of fidelity to that Being [that we are], out of this
magnificent black hole, an inordinate amount of glory spills,
and each movement is the poetry of being in motion, while
utterly empty.

Jeannie Zandi

[brackets mine]

~

Photo - a mandala that my mother colored in 2016 at age 88
 digitally zoom blurred and color inverted - magic :).

A Fire Burns Within...

“Isn’t it time to turn your heart into a temple of fire?”

Rumi

There is a deep wound in me that needs to be addressed, and the pain of that wound that at times is so intense that I feel my heart is being torn out of my chest. And so I have been to the edge of the Abyss of “the wound” – really looking into it, allowing it to reveal itself. And – at the same time – the fires of creativity are being stoked. Interesting. At times there is such an excitement for Life that my heart can hardly contain itself. An Aliveness awakens and burns within, that wants to be *lived*. And then I feel the tear of separation again, and the aliveness gets snuffed out by the pain of “the wound” – which translates into sadness, melancholy and depression. I know the two are connected, related somehow – this deep “wound” of life, and the fire of Life within.

The pain of “the wound” has been with me since childhood, in many different forms. Although I’ve done a good job of numbing it, it is familiar. It is the pain of humanity - the original wound of separation. Humanity is living out the drama and pain of this original wound – the perceived separation from our Divine Nature - in many different ways. We have fragmented into illusions, into stories of who we really are, rather than retaining the Truth of who we are – our Natural State of Beingness. We have fractured into a life of accumulated suffering, pain and struggle. This “wound” of mankind represents the *belief* in, identification with and attachment to this sense of separateness as our identity that burns a hole in our hearts and psyches, and creates a fire of longing for “Home” – the Natural state of Being “Home.” The feeling of separation is a deep tear in the consciousness of man – creating a shadow of the Real that in its extreme leads to desperation and violence.

This “wound” of separation is a sense of separateness from our Wholeness and Holiness within – from the congruency with the deepest sense of Being. It is a sense of longing for that Source within; some call it God, or Truth, or True Nature. However we know it, it’s all the same longing. I have suppressed the pain and grief of that “wound”, and that longing for a lifetime; trying to quell it with religion, with many different forms of “spirituality” – with the “search for Truth” – with the search for “Enlightenment,” the Holy Grail of those on a “spiritual path” – looking for *something* to fill the hole of “the wound.” And there have been many moments of “awakening” to the Truth. But nothing has filled “the wound.” And the grief of that will not be assuaged.

The pain and grief that I have been experiencing are now recognized as the pain of this perceived separation, and the sense of incongruency within, that must be acknowledged and allowed to be released from the heart where it has been held captive. Because in its acknowledgement is “the Door” to the Fire of the Heart – the Fire of Life that burns within - which must also be expressed: the pain of the wound and the Fire of Life in the Heart – the inner dynamic interflow of Being. And so I cry and I create, which connects me with that Natural State of the Core of Being, until I no longer feel defined or confined by “the wound,” by the pain of perceived separation, and the grief for something unknown.

Allowing "the wound" to be seen and heard leads to a different movement *through* life, where it is no longer felt as a “wounding”, but an opening into the Heart of Being. This is the secret of “the wound.” To allow it to open us deeply to the Truth of who we are, knowing the wholeness of who we really are – the Fire in the temple of the Heart that is beneath, behind, and even *in* the pain.

Vortex Art™
Woman Dancing in the Fire…

~*~

“All our longing is but an eternal echo
of Divine Longing.
Embraced within that Divine Longing
we can dare to let our longing lead us…”

”When your true heart speaks,
the echo will return to assure you
that every moment of your presence
happens in the shelter
of the invisible circle…”

Quotes from John O’Donohoe
from Eternal Echoes

Opening to the Bare Bones...

I don’t know about anyone else “out there”, but I’ve been feeling rather raw and vulnerable lately; edgy, overly sensitive, ‘self’-conscious – like the comfortable cocoon, the identity that I *think* my “self” to be, is no longer protecting me, leaving me feeling naked and exposed and undefined. Not a comfortable feeling. And in that open rawness this “little self identity” is feeling neurotic and insecure. It may be that I am still in the transition that started several weeks ago when my husband started a new job. It seems that became a culminating point where I can no longer hide in the safety of my cocoon, but am being opened... And as some of you know, that “opening” is occurring because I have been getting in touch with some deeply held feelings and emotions, as I let go of some of the boxes of beliefs that have cocooned me. But what would I do if I really broke free – would I know how to fly… Or rather, if I recognized that I was already free - hmmm – what then…

I think all this rawness and fragility is really about opening to the bare bones Truth - again, opening to the authentic place of Being. It’s the pull of Beingness to deepen into that Beingness (The Natural State of Silent Knowing Awareness), to recognize that more deeply and clearly; that Nameless place of Truth that we all know in our bones, which I realize everyone defines differently, even though it’s all the same, so it’s hard to put into common terms… Some call it abiding in Awareness. It’s the call of Being to recognize oneself *as* That Beingness, *as* pure Awareness Itself, and not the cocoon of “me” – letting the cocoon fall away. And in this “transition”, or metamorphosis if you will, there is a need to find a sense of congruence within, while the outer shell falls away, learning to function more from the inner Truth of the Heart, while the cocoon that keeps that hidden dissolves…

I woke up this morning asking the question: “What is the most important thing to me?” – not meaning a “thing” as in an object – but what *is* most important to me; what do I really want… My mind and body settled with this question. I *knew* the answer to that question immediately. The answer always returns me to the same place, the silent Core of Being, the Spiritual Heart… And I settle. I kept asking this question throughout the morning, and it kept bringing me back to the same place – to the knowing that what was most important is intimately *knowing* the Heart of Being. With this it was as if my orientation shifted.

Since childhood there has been a deep and abiding “longing” in the Heart to *know* “God/Truth”; what I knew to be “God” at that time – which has changed. But the longing has never really gone away, despite many “awakening experiences”, and despite “non-dual awareness” teachings of all kinds. I am willing to admit that now – without fear of reproach – that a “longing” in the Heart means there is still a belief in separation. But this longing for “God/Truth” is not in the external sense, is not for something “out there”, separate from “me”, but there is still this longing for a true knowing of the deep Heart of who/what *really* exists here, and to know that as “Home.”

So I continue to deepen into that Truth, through everyday awareness and the enhanced awareness of meditating, writing down the bones of Truth that are excavated, until there is complete abidance in the space of the Heart of Being, for this *is* what I truly want: to know myself *as* this deep Heart and live from that space. Or, is it really to *recognize* that I already abide there – in the true recognition of non-conceptual, non-dual awareness – that nothing is ever separate from the Source within…

As I kept asking this question – what is the most important thing – I felt the Heart, mind and body coalesce and the body resonate, as if everything resolved within this Spiritual Heart by asking the question. I know when I have found the “right” question because it resonates deeply within. Likewise, when I have found the “right” answer – it deeply resonates within as well.

And so my focus is slowly shifting from distractions, attachments and preoccupations of the shell identity of the “little me” to what’s in the cocoon; to what is most important – the opening of the cocoon to find the Heart of Life. This has always been the most important thing for me – to keep coming back to the spiritual Heart, to the innate, inherent, intimate knowing Awareness within the cocoon. Not something to attain “out there”, but to recognize as right here, always here.

“Stop searching for phrases and chasing after words.
Take the backward step and turn the light inward.
Your body-mind of itself will drop off
and your original face will appear.
If you want to attain just this,
immediately practice just this…”

Dogen


“It’s a spiritual journey germinating
in the depths of being
that gives meaning
and purpose
to living.”

a friend…

Thriving...

Fall in Colorado, before “the Freeze”, is really a melding of Summer, Fall and Winter. It’s as if Nature isn’t really ready for the change of season. The natural cycles and rhythms of Nature can seem to be a little out of sync. One day near 90, then a dip into the 40’s with rain/snow mix leaving a wisp of white, and then back to Fall with its crisp Autumn night air, flashes of color, and “Indian Summers” – and hooing owls :). Yes, she is still in the neighborhood! Ya hoo! :)

It’s a playful mix of learning to live in transition with no clear delineations or definitions, just a fluid movement of all 3 seasons blending into one before “the Freeze.” Blooming Impatiens expand, overflowing the limitations of their container with full exuberance, while the Maple leaves overhead begin to turn yellow, although I found this one with a touch of red.

The first snow is Nature’s signal of a new season to come, leaving a brief taste to tantalize the senses. And then a melting of the mantle to allow Fall to finish her song – to thrive once again before the hibernation of nature begins.

After the first snow – a show of endurance from the Petunias reclaiming their life color in one more flare before the hard freeze. In my being there is this same blend: an exuberance - felt as restlessness and erratic energies; an excitement for the shift from Summer heat into colorful, cool Autumn. Thoughts of hot chocolate, apple cider and popcorn waft through, as well as the feel of fatigue and an inward pull to start settling in for Winter’s inner hibernation.

These signals of Nature remind me that I need to pay attention to my own cycles and make some changes in order to live according to my Natural Rhythms, to thrive according my True Nature. But recently that has been my dilemma: How to honor my natural rhythms – while life and the needs of others pull me away from those rhythms. I find myself asking: What is needed for my Essential Nature to thrive… What is It pulling me to… What environment allows Being-Spirit to thrive… Or, is it really just a matter of attitude, just accepting life as it is? Am I still attached to a personal me who just wants her way? That is what I am looking into…

“What environment do you thrive in?
Plants need different conditions to thrive in
and when you try to grow it in a different environment –
it can’t thrive.
It’s not about 'preferences',
or about 'accepting life as it is' -
but knowing what you need for your spirit to thrive.”

“This is about the recognition of what it truly is
that lives, thinks, sees and breathes,
through and as [the person].
It is the One substance – Presence Awareness…”

“…preferences, likes and dislikes are recognized
as some of the countless ways the One appears
to ItSelf…”

Leo Hartong
from his book: From Self to Self


How about you…
What allows your Spirit, your Inner Being, to thrive?

Contentment Window

Last night, during “window sitting”, there was only the sound of a single cricket without the background chorus of fellow crickets. He was singing all by himself – content to sing his song.

There was the delightful smell of moisture, of wet earth, after the rain earlier in the evening: grass, leaves, vegetation from the neighbor’s garden. They were all content too, to just be what they are…. (Don’t ask me how I knew this :)

I felt the cool night air wafting through the window – which always inspires me. And I felt gratitude for friends arise for some reason, along with a myriad thoughts, feelings and awareness of body sensations and discomforts. Then I began to settle, and there was the usual awareness of the breath, then a deep breath, and deeper settling into that innate sense of the womb of Stillness that is content…

Suddenly the realization came that I am comfortable with myself! Oh my, can this be?! I felt somewhat shocked, to the point where I shifted in my seat and became acutely aware of this strange feeling that filled this space of “me.”

It was an awesome feeling to be at peace with myself. I never remember feeling “content” in my life. But here it was – contentment sitting at the window – saying welcome – here I am – just feel my presence.

And it was understood, in that moment, that “I” is always content – the Essential “I” – even if the sense of “me” isn’t. Contentment is a natural state of Being. It was also understood, sitting in the window, that contentment is not based on the absence of thoughts and feelings, or life going well, of having or not having. It’s a contentment of Being - just Be-ing – as the River of Stillness runs through – untroubled, untouched – leaving the face of contentment shining through…

~*~

Can you see the face in the cloud?