Hope - Frank Ostaseski

Hope is a subtle, sometimes unconscious attitude of the heart
and mind that is essential in this human life.  Experts differ
on whether hope is an emotion, a belief, a conscious choice,
or all three.  I think of hope as an innate quality of being, as
open, active trust in life that refuses to quit.

When hope is misunderstood, it can plunge us into delusion
and become a hindrance to facing the facts of life.  To discern
the real value of hope, we must draw a line between hope and
expectation.  Hope is an optimizing force and moves us and all
of life toward harmony.  It is an abiding state of being, a hidden
wellspring within us.  This version of hope is a basic human
need.

Yet our usual kind of hope is little more than wishful thinking.
It's frequently tied to an an almost childlike belief, sometimes
even blind faith, that an external agency or authority will bring
about what we desire.  Driven by our preference for a different
 set of conditions, this conventional view of hope is a rejection
of what is present for us in the here and now.

Ordinary hope disguised as expectation is fixated on specific
outcomes.  This hope gets conflated with the desire for a
certain future result.  Attaching our happiness to a specific
future result causes us all sorts of suffering..... attachment to
outcome posing as hope interferes with our ability to be present
to our experience of life as it is unfolding.

Mature hope takes us inside ourselves and toward finding the 
good in the experience.  Mature hope requires both a clear
intention and a simultaneous letting go.  This hope is not
dependent on outcome.  The hope is in the potential for our
awakened [or skillful] response, not in things turning out
a particular way - and we are no longer trapped by our
conventional view of hope.  We leave room for surprise.
The energizing quality of mature hope helps us to remain
open to the possibility that while life may not turn out the 
way we first thought, opportunities we never imagined may
also arise.

Frank Ostaseski
Buddhist Teacher

from: The Five Invitations

 

Openness - Frank Ostaseski

Openness.....is a willingness to look into what arises,
to work with it, and relate to it with curiosity.

Openness doesn't reject or get attached to a particular
experience or view.  It is about allowing experience to
unfold, having tolerance of the unknown, letting go of
expectations.

Welcoming what is, as it is, we move toward reality.
We may not like or agree with all that we encounter.
However, when we argue with reality we suffer.
We waste our energy and exhaust ourselves with the
insistence that life be otherwise.  We often have little
control over the external circumstances of our own lives.
However, we have a great deal of choice about how we
relate to and learn from the cards life deals us.  We build
resilience by allowing ourselves to experience what we
are feeling in any given situation, whether good or bad.
Until we come to accept life with all its madness and
inspiration, we feel cut off, separate and isolated.

Acceptance is not resignation.  It is an opening - to
a skillful response to life.

Opening allows experiences to enter and allow for our
responses to emerge and be expressed...

Frank Ostaseski

from The Five Invitations

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

The Totality of Experience - Shinshu Roberts

 ...As soon as we return to the totality of this moment's complete
expression, responding to the whole of our situation, we are
not caught by anything.  Even though we are still subject to
the repercussions of our past actions, we are free to
respond skillfully in the present moment/situation.

If we have been rude to someone in the past and that person
is wary of us [or if they have been rude to us], our total
participation in this moment of meeting that person will not
necessarily take away the effects of our past meeting.  What
it will do is free us to respond skillfully in this situation.
Since we are not caught by "piled up" or overlapping
experiences, we are freed to enact the new paradigm of 
[seeing the whole of the situation] and being present for
the next opportunity...

Holding on to a past mistake will often hinder your ability
to respond skillfully in the present, although you still file
away your mistake and make adjustments.

Our understanding of self can become a fixed idea of
accumulated ["piled up"] traits and experiences.  The self
 is both independent and the totality of all being-time.  We are
no-self and a particular self at the same time, caught by
neither and more than both.  [This] realization is not
predicated upon a particular set of circumstances.
Realization is present in each moment.
Realization is each moment.

Shinshu Roberts
from an article on Dogen in Insight Journal
from Barre Center for Buddhist Studies

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Arrow

“I shot an arrow into the air, it fell to earth, I knew not where…” (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow).

Well, I found it! And it’s not cupid’s arrow either!

On Sunday, January 30th, before the snow came, I looked out my back window and saw this arrow stuck in the back fence… Hmmmm…. I had a certain sneaking suspicion where this errant arrow had come from. But I just left it there, waiting to see if its owner would own up to its ownership – or better yet, come into our locked, fenced-in backyard to try to retrieve it when we weren’t looking… He did not…

Initially I was quite p.o.’d by the sight of this arrow in the fence and marched out to take pictures, just in case. Earlier that morning I had been out in the backyard in the approximate area of the path of the arrow… We live in a residential area. There are no acres of land separating houses here. We are basically in each others' pockets, so-to-speak. So an arrow stuck in the back fence is serious business, especially when two little toddlers live on the other side of that fence where the arrow was headed…

I was tempted to pull Arrow out of its landing spot and march to suspected neighbor, arrow in hand, and give him a piece of my mind. Maybe that would have been a good idea – to give away that piece of mind that was p.o.’d. But I thought better of it and kept my mind to myself. He is the same neighbor with the two dogs – you may remember from previous posts. Last Summer he decided to play target practice in his backyard with a bee-bee gun late at night when he thought we weren’t watching… I was “window sitting” so I saw everything. :)

So what to do about Arrow, and the evidently irresponsible neighbor who thinks target practice with bows and arrows and bee-bee guns are acceptable in residential neighborhoods. I knew this was an opportunity for me, but I didn’t quite know how to approach him, being p.o.’d and all. So I waited, just waited for that inner voice to say something. But nothing. There were no directions forthcoming. So for 4 days Arrow sat in the fence, and I pondered Arrow and its metaphors. I knew it was there to say *something* - besides the fact that my neighbor was not cupid, but stupid. So I inwardly listened. (More on this later this week).

Then last Friday morning, while standing in our driveway, taking photos, after snow the night before, my neighbor came out and we unexpectedly met – across the yards. We looked at each other, said hello, nodded, no usual niceties. I turned around to continue taking pictures, thinking should I or shouldn’t I – approach him that is. Now, I had basically rolled out of bed, not showered, was in sweats and coat, hair amiss, etc., etc. Nah, not good timing.

I heard him say something under his breath and start to walk towards me. I thought - here it comes, he’s going to own up to Arrow. And then he said: “I had a dream last night.” Oh really? I replied – thinking now I’m going to hear the story of how the arrow got in the fence. Instead he narrated that in his dream his two dogs were barking really loud and it really bothered me. He wanted to know if his dogs were bothering me. I was shocked. I thought - are you serious? Do you think I dropped off a turnip truck or something! I know that you know about the ARROW! What about the ARROW! I want you to own up to ARROW! But I smiled and went along with his little dream story. Oh no, they are fine, no bother. Are you sure, he said… Yes, they’re fine. (Their barking has been an issue in the past and both now have bark collars on, so very little barking occurs – anymore.) He evidently felt we were finished and started to walk away. Not so fast cupid…

I then said: Well, I had a dream last night too. (I thought two can play this game). Oh? he said. Yes, I dreamt that an arrow flew through our yard and landed in the fence. Would you happen to know anything about that?

Yes, I would, he said… His son (about 13 yrs old) thinks he is Daniel Boone, and his mother bought him a bow and arrow… But cupid, I mean stupid, now agreed that it was “not a good thing” to be doing target practice in the backyard– and would reign his son in. “Daniel Boone” has now been relegated to the fields beyond the park two houses away – not in shooting distance of any houses. I’m still nervous…

Anyway – After the fact, pondering our little conversation, I thought the way my neighbor approached me was rather skillful actually: indirect, focusing on the dream, the story, not confrontational – although not admitting to anything, not taking responsibility until “found out” – which was rather bothersome. But - it was an interesting repartee where what was needed to be revealed was revealed in its time. It gave me an opening to address the issue and we could both walk away “unharmed” – no anger, no conflict, no blame, no judgment – issue resolved. I could meet him in the dream, in his story – and he in mine. Wow – I thought, how simple, why didn’t *I* think of that… Now I will.

I returned the arrow – unbroken…

I love this opening: “Say, I had a dream last night…”

Can we meet each other in the dream? Sure we can. It’s really kind of fun… Wanna play? :) Your dream or mine…

More "Coyote Medicine"

In the comment that ZenDotStudio left on the “Coyote Medicine” post, she asked what my spontaneous, personal “hit”, or interpretation, was on this Coyote sighting at the time that it occurred, and not just what “the books” say the symbolism means. I really appreciate her asking, as it gives me the opportunity to gaze a little longer through the window of greater wisdom.

In reflecting on this encounter it has been interesting to see the synchronistic flow and timing of this sighting that has created yet another “opening”… In a sense a *seeing* that has helped me to once again trust the universal Flow of Life that touches us all.

Shortly after we left my mother’s house my cell phone rang. It was my mother letting me know that I had left our left-overs on the counter. So we made a quick U-ey, and she met us in her driveway with the bag of goodies. This probably only “delayed” us about 2 mins. Heh, heh, heh… If we had not gone back to get the left-over food we would have missed this opportunity to see the Coyote! Goose bumps anyone?

We continued on home, which takes about ½ hour, nothing in particular being felt about the day – except to both comment to each other that “that went well – considering.” We were a mile from home, stopped at a traffic light at an intersection, when I spotted the Coyote at the opposite diagonal corner, just standing there *waiting* - dead prey in her mouth. I pointed “her” out to my husband with a few jabs in his upper arm, pointing, and exclaiming: look, look, look! :) The first thing we both thought of was the cartoon series “The Road Runner” which we had both watched as children. One of the characters was “Wile E. Coyote” – who was always strategizing on how to get the “Road Runner”, which in a humorous way speaks to the Coyote’s character: cunning – as in skillful…

So what was Coyote showing me beyond the pre-scripted symbolism?

What struck me the MOST about seeing “her” was how she just waited there at the corner under the traffic light, as if waiting for the signal to change, to say “go.” In fact, she even looked up *over* her shoulder at the traffic light beside her!, which I marveled at, at the time, like she knew to wait and watch for the signal! Maybe she could hear the light mechanism as it clicked through its cycle, I don’t know. But as soon as *our* light turned green, *she* stepped off the curb and proceeded across the street. It was if she was waiting for the “right time”, waiting and watching for the signals. Great wisdom in any circumstance! Wait and watch for the “go” signal before “stepping out” into life…

The fact that she was at an intersection, “at a crossroads,” says to me that it’s time to look at the ways I move through life. It seems it’s certainly time to make some changes in my relationship with my sister, family and life in general. In my family I seem to take on a lot of responsibility that maybe I don’t need to take on. Although I no longer *feel* angry regarding my sister’s words, something did click inside that said – “enough:” I no longer *feel* a self-imposed sense of responsibility for taking care of you emotionally, for trying to make you *feel* better about your life situation. If you want to wallow in self-pity, feeling victimized, that is your choice – but I will no longer dance this dance with you. Internally I resolved to relate and engage from a different space: from Presence without the emotional investment of the “self.” This may be challenging considering the family dynamics. The symbolism of the Coyote “at the crossroads” is really allowing me to *see* what is actually already taking place internally: a needed shift is taking place with regard to how I move through life – with awareness - not sustaining primal patterns of behavior.

And then - as Ms. Coyote crossed the intersection, continuing into the empty parking lot, I noticed that she kept looking back over her shoulder as if to “watch her back” – to protect herself. It is unfortunate that we need to do this, but I think this is one of the “lessons learned” here; not to leave myself too vulnerable to becoming prey to others, but to use more “cunning” ways (skillful means) of “protecting” myself, rather than the passive-aggressive Darth Vader reactive response. Woosh. In other words, it’s not about using defensive “protection” – as anger is – but “protection” through *awareness* - through *seeing* what is going on around me, and taking right action at the appropriate time.

And finally --- What I noticed as the Coyote crossed the street was that she was so determined to stay on her path. She was undeterred. She just kept going – which is what I intend to do – just keep going, undeterred and undistracted, taking care of myself, doing what needs to be done, making changes where needed – staying open to the Flow of Life…

So that is my personal take on the wisdom of Coyote. I’m also open to hearing your impressions, if you have any insights that you’d like to share. I welcome your input!

~*~

istock photo