Epiphany...

It seems that my “spiritual path” has been laced with small “epiphanies” and “divine flashes” of awareness, and “mini awakenings” over the years.  I had one of those moments last weekend when standing in the backyard.   I had stepped outside to be in nature for a while, connecting with the stillness and silence – taking it all in - noticing and feeling the connection.   I was in the process of taking some pictures of the shadows that the late afternoon sun in November was making on the fence, when suddenly the words: “There is nothing but ‘God’” ran unbidden and unexpectedly through the silence of my being.  Say What!  There was an immediate sense of *profound* peace, contentment and joy in my heart.  I even started to giggle to myself.  But I was also completely shocked by the word  - "God"– and my very tangible felt experience of it.

I have not used the "God" language in *years*, after leaving the religion of my childhood some 26 years ago , as it holds imagery of my Christian upbringing of a person in the clouds with white beard, and separateness.   It has so many old paradigm, somewhat fundamentalist “religious” connotations from my past, which made it all the more surprising that this was the word that floated through.  If the “voice” had said: “All there is is Awareness”, or “Consciousness”, or “Pure Being”, I would have gone, of course! – as those are the words that I most often use. You could also use words like Buddha Nature, the Divine, The Self, Brahman, the Ineffable, The Eternal, or the Infinite.   But I was jolted awake by the clear use of the word “God.”  As this phrase ran through me I had the image of a deep golden light, like a sunset that ran across the screen of my mind, as if to show me the depth and vastness of the word.  As it wasn’t the persona “God” image of my childhood.  No, it was an incomprehensible sense of vast, expansive, all-inclusive, infinite, ubiquitous Presence, with which I felt an immediate sense of *inherent* communion – not one which needed to be sought after, but that was already actively happening…  And with that realization came a profound sense of Grace…

It was also realized that it doesn’t matter if there is a sense of a “me” or “no-me.”  It is inconsequential.  It is just realized that all there is, is Infinite Existence that just IS – no matter what name or qualities we give It…

“…one awakens to the simple truth
that there is nothing other than God.
We are always with God.
Even the idea of a “path”
is an illusion,
because
 everything
 is
 God.”

Lllewellyn Vaughan-Lee
Sufi Mystic

Go
 IN &
 IN & IN

until you come to
 the pure Self-luminous,
the place of pure Being.

…see that behind all ‘this’
there is all ‘this’ in its OM,
its unmanifested form.

See the OMness of everything…”

Ram Dass
Hindu Spiritual Teacher

The liberating Truth is not static;
it is alive.

It cannot be put into concepts
and be understood by the mind.

The Truth lies beyond all forms
of conceptual fundamentalism.

What you are is the beyond…
It is awake and present,
here and now
 already.”

Adyashanti
Zen/Advaita Spiritual Teacher

~

Top Photo:
 Cray Pas Pastel oils

2010

Mystic Heart...

"Mystical experience is the awakening
to the Mystery within and without
and beyond us;
happening in the pesent moment
of the eternal now.

Mystical experience is always here,
inviting us on a journey of
ultimate discovery.
How we make the journey
is what spirituality
is all about.

Existence is a
summons
to the
eternal
journey
of the sage...
the sage we all are,
if only we could see.
It is our spiritual nature…”

Wayne Teasdale

Christian Mystic
From: The Mystic Heart

“If you could [look beyond] yourself just once,
the secret of secrets would open to you.

The face of the unknown,
hidden beyond the universe
would appear
 on the mirror
of your
  perception.”

Rumi

”The Mystic’s path takes one into
the
 depths
 of
 the
 Heart…

It leads from the known to
the unknown,
and
 then
 further
into
 the
 unknowable…

Nothing can prepare you for
the Heart’s journey…
It is a mystery
 of the
Heart’s
 awakening…”

Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee
Sufi Mystic
From:
 Fragments of a Love Story

~



Photos:
#1 - Raindrops on Screen
#2 - Shadow on Wall
zoom blurred
#3 - Shadow on Wall

"Contemplative Spirituality..."

Once again I am feeling the pull to “sabbatical life” as I did this past summer, which never materialized.  Life kept me preoccupied, my continual lament.  Maybe “contemplative life” is only my idealization of “spirituality.”  And yet – this inner need for Silence and Solitude continues to beckon me.  I have carved out moments of solitude for myself here and there within the reality of my life as it is – yet, something within still calls; calls for the shedding of old paradigms again, emptying myself of all that is irrelevant and extraneous - to just BE. 

It is not a “contemplative” life in the religious sense that calls to me. One does not need to be a Christian in order to be a “contemplative”, nor cloister one’s self in a monastery.  I left the religion of my childhood many years ago, wanting something deeper.   Neither is a contemplative necessarily one who “ponders” everything in the mind – but, is more one who seeks the Truth of Existence through Silence, through an intimate relational, experiential spirituality with “the Unknown Self” that resides within; waiting in the space of Silence, without agenda or expectation, for the presence of the Eternal to reveal ItSelf.

Mirabai Starr, author and teacher of Philosophy and World Religions at UNM-Taos, and student of Ram Dass, defines being a “contemplative” as a “practitioner who has carved out a space inside herself through the intentional cultivation of stillness.”  She says that through “surrender one sits in prolonged silence and waits for the presence of ‘God’ (however one defines that) – being aware of the presence of that which transcends our individual self – deepening into our experience of Source.” 

Ivan Granger of Poetry Chaikhana  says:  “A mystic is content with nothing less than to touch the Truth in its most universal purity.”  Ahhhhh – music to my mystic heart. J  While some may make a disctinction between a “mystic” and a “contemplative”, I do not see the dividing line.   In our Hearts, we “both” want to *know* the Truth.  We both want to “experience” the presence of the Eternal in our lives – no matter what our “spiritual practice” may be.

I am essentially unattached to either, not identified with any religion, or label really, even though I use the term “mystic”, or “contemplative.”  I am just someone who has a passion for Truth and communion with what some call “The Divine” – which I know as "Silence", the Infinite Essence of our Beingness.  This passion is what compels me in life, and what compels me to write… 

When sitting in meditative Silence there is a sense of *meeting* the quintessential Silence that embodies and animates all life; a sense of the Ineffable in you recognizing ItSelf, and an inherent *knowing* that you are that Essence of Being as well.  The key is staying open and becoming *aware* of that Essence, feeling the intimacy that is already there – waiting for our recognition – our awareness of its Presence…

“Contemplative spirituality”, undefined by any religious affiliation, is still just another label for my mind to wrap itself around.  In reality, at least this reality J,  it is about taking deep refuge in the inner Sanctuary of Silence, allowing oneself to lose one’s self in communion with the Infinite Silence that is alive, aware and awake; that doesn’t make distinctions, but only knows ItSelf as Life ItSelf – as us… 

Photo:

Out the window

at 3am with flash J

True Refuge...

This magnificent refuge is inside you.
Enter…
Shatter the darkness that shrouds the doorway…
Be bold.  Be humble.
Put away the incense and forget
the incantations they taught you.
Ask no permission from the authorities.
Close your eyes and follow your breath
to the still place that leads to
the invisible path
that leads you home.

St. Teresa of Avila

She was an Anchorite
living in a *sealed* room
inside a medieval cathedral.
In a sense locked away...
Thus the strength of her words.
Usually there was only a small
window in the opening of the
sealed wall with which to
converse with visitors and
monks...

~

True
refuge
is
embedded
in
our
own
Being

When we sense the
silent,
inner wakefulness
that is here,
we
come
home

to

a

boundless
sanctuary

Tara Brach
From: True Refuge

The Unknown Self - John O'Donohue...

“So much of what delights and troubles you
happens on the surface
you take for ground.

Your mind thinks your life alone,
your eyes consider air your nearest neighbor.
Yet it seems that a little below
 the heart
there houses
 in you an unknown self
who prefers the patterns of the dark,
and is not persuaded by the eye’s affection,
or caught by the flash of thought.

[This “unknown self”]

enjoys contemplative patience
with
all
 your
 unfolding
 expression…

is never drawn to break into light
though you tangle yourself in unworthiness
and misjudge
what you do
  and who you are.

It presides within like an evening freedom
that will often see you enchanted by twilight
without ever recognizing the falling night.

It resembles the under-earth of your visible life:
All you do and say and think is fostered
deep in its opaque and prevenient clay.

It dwells in a strange, yet rhythmic ease
that is not ruffled by disappointment:
it presides in
 a

 deeper

 current
 of time

Free from the force of cause and sequence
that otherwise shapes your life.

Were it to break forth into day,
its dark light might quench your mind,
for

 it

 knows
 how
your
prrimeval
 heart
sisters
 every
 cell
 of
 your
 life
to all your known mind would avoid.

Thus it knows to dwell in you gently,
offering you only discrete glimpses
of how you contruct your life.

At times, it will lead you strangely,
magnetized by some resonance
that ambushes your vigilance.

It works most resolutely at night
as the poet who draws your dreams,
creating for you many secret doors,
decorated with pictures of your hunger.

It has the dignity of the angelic
that
 knows
 you
 to
 your
 roots,
always awaiting your deeper befriending
to
 take
 you
 beyond
 the
 threshold
 of want,
where all your diverse strainings
can come to wholesome ease…”

© John O’Donohue

“For The Unknown Self”

From: Bless the Space Between Us

Via: The Sacred Alter:The Art of Transformation

Check out her unique artistic expression!

~

~

Note:
I took the liberty of reconstructing the format for emphasis…
The brackets on the line [This “unknown self’] indicate my
paraphrase of the original line… “It is a self that”….

 What O’Donohue speaks of as “an unknown self”
 I understand as our True Self, or Divine Nature,
not a separate self residing within;
but of course that is my interpretation. J

I also find it interesting that he gives “it” a location in the body
”a little below the heart.” ?
Would love to have been able to ask him about this…
 

In any case, the poem spoke to me
and wanted to post it. J
Hope you enjoy it too…

~

~

~

Photo:

A ribbed glass container
catching the mid morning light…

Solitude...

“Solitude is the furnace of transformation.
Without solitude
we remain victims of our society
and continue to be
entangled in the illusions
of the false self…”

Henri Nouwen

“The great omission in American life is solitude;
not loneliness,
for there is an alienation
that thrives most in the midst of crowds,
but [it is] that zone of time and space,
free from outside pressures,
which is the incubator
of the spirit.”

Marya Mannes

“Awareness of the Divine Essence as our
innermost true Self requires silence…
It is turning toward what lies hidden within -
to the internal - the all-embracing totality
of Divine Being.
It is the way of meditation,
the way if inner silence before Spirit.

Remaining quiet before Spirit is a prayer of silence,
through which we listen to that which secretly speaks
to us in the inner room of the heart.

What is hidden deep in our innermost being
lies in silence and stillness,
and in the silence of the deep
springs the eternal, inexhaustible, orginal
source of all being.

Where words fall silent,
the everlasting begins…

Wolfgang Kopp
From: Free Yourself of Everything

“Spiritual joys come only from solitude.

A little while in your room
will prove more valuable than anything else
that could ever be given…”

“To be one with the truth for just a moment
is worth more than the world and life itself…”

Rumi

~
~
~

PLEASE NOTE:

  I am not suggesting that we all live a cloistered life of solitude and silence!J 

I don’t think I could even do that! 

 But it is about being with our deeper inner Self/Being,

 listening and hearing the deeper Voice of Silence

 and responding to the inner movement of That.

  We can be in solitude while cleaning or creating.

  And sometimes that Voice speaks to us through the voice of
others, as these quotes here did for me,

 and as so many of you do through your blog posts. J 

 I merely wish to point out that

 part of the angst and entropy we are experiencing in the world

 is due to a lack of spending time in solitude and silence,

 becoming aware of and getting to know our deeper,

 mostly unknown, Divine Self/Spirit/Beingness…

Entropy...

The shadows have come to roost
and

 *everything*

 is

 collapsing

~

~

~

~

The tides and ripples of entropy will continue
until all is returned to Source again ~
the Primordial State:
Pure Life Energy…

Entropy is not necessarily a bad thing.
It is the way of Existence.
It is a

T

E

L

E

S

C

O

P

I

N

G

 of everyting that is,
back to its original Source/State;
a re-homing of all that was created in form,
the conceptual structures,
so that only
the Eternal
Essence
 remains

Do not be alarmed by the seeming destruction
of what you have *believed* to be real.
The false must be released, shed – like dross.
In this there is a sense of chaos, destruction, loss, and death;
the crucible affect;
a state of alchemy,
the refinement of all things in existence
to its Original Nature.

Nothing is lost in the process.

All is coming Home.

The
Divine

 Outbreath

Has

 Been

 Re-called.

Bring your awareness to the place of Stillness within.

Don’t try to create order in the chaos.
But be still and let the chaos pass.
”Order” is found in the Stillness,
in returning to deep Stillness

The healing of mankind
is

 in

 the

 *recognition*

 Of

 The

 Truth

 of our Eternal Essence -
Infinite Beingness…

Entropy is the crucible of that healing…

Allow it…

~

The invitation

 is to expand our view of reality
and return to the *awareness* of
our Eternal Being…

Mystic Meandering
taken from my
Meditative Writings
written between
 2004 and 2006

~

Photo:
A pan with grease blobs
zoom blurred...

Go Deeper...

You have to become more interested in the silent background
than in the foreground of phenomena;
thoughts, feelings, emotions, experiences…. etc.

Most people are focused on the forground…
but the Self is discovered in the background.
The Self is the source from which the phenomena spring
and the ground in which this display of phenomena
is happening…

When you rest in the background,
you can taste your Self.

You just give yourself up to it.

Adyashanti

You must want to know your Self more than anything…

Discovering your Self beyond all concepts,

what remains is Infinity in all directions….
our true nature….

Learn to be quiet inside,
allowing the entire Cosmos to
effortlessly express Itself…

Sally Ross

Silent Meditation Today

Go deeper
Past thoughts into silence.
Past silence into stillness.
Past stillness into the heart.
Let Love consume all that is left of you.

Kabir

~

Bottom Photo:
Bottom of a cup of tea

Job/No-Job Roulette...

Yes folks the wheel has turned again and we are in a “no-job” transition once more - after a mere 5 days! J  I won’t dwell on the drama of the details, except for the following brief paragraph – and then shift the paradigm. J

“They” said they really liked B, that he fit the culture there, and had the technical expertise that they needed.  The first day there he solved two technical problems that they had been unable to solve, and was gaining a reputation as the “go to guy” – but by the 4^th day upper level management (whom he had never met) had made “a business decision” (on paper) and decided they wanted a “credentialed scrum master” to run the team’s multiple daily meetings.  Whoa…  That was never mentioned in the job description, or the interview.  He thought he was hired for his technical expertise… Instead they wanted a *certified* meeting leader…  (A “scrum master” is a term used in the Agile system of project management for conducting meetings.)  He did find out that three people had given notice within the last two weeks, one being the hiring manager who interviewed him, and told him on the outtake on the 5^th day, that this might all be a blessing!  Evidently it was a company in chaos.  She also mentioned that they hired him quickly because they “needed to fill a quota” – what kind of quota she didn’t say – maybe for elderly employees. J lol

And so here we are…

Shifting Paradigms…

 Not surprisingly we were stunned and have been in shock – trying to maintain an “awakened” view of “reality”, recognizing that every experience is an *invitation* to see reality differently.  No matter what the circumstances what is important is to constantly return one’s awareness to the inner space of Beingness, the ever-present Awareness that is our True State – that which is right here *in* this moment.  And - to recognize THAT which is within us that is Aware, untouched and non-reactive to life events….   It’s not even about being in the present moment, as there really is no “present moment” because that is merely a construct of time. (A paradox, I know :) There is only the continuous Flow and ongoing unfolding of the Stream of Life – the Eternal NOW - undivided.  It’s about bringing our awareness to THAT - that which is truly Present in the moment – that which is our Eternal Presence that transcends the “present moment” - THAT which is looking through our eyes, and experiencing our experiences.

All of life events and all of our experiences are just occurring in the Stream of Life; are waves in the greater Ocean of Consciousness; ripples on the Primordial pond of Ultimate Reality.  The mind wants to grab for “answers” and explanations, to make sense of it, to interpret the event and try to give it special meaning and significance, based on our cultural and spiritual influences, but life is just happening, playing itself out.  How that plays out doesn’t really matter to the greater Reality – to Consciousness ItSelf.  The Universe is completely neutral and impartial.  We are not “entitled” to have life work out the way we had envisioned, or “intended” –  just because we have worked hard, or because we believe a certain way, or practice certain practices.  As B said - this “job event” is a mere stick in the stream of Ultimate Reality floating by…  It’s all a drama being played out for the ultimate purpose of our awakening, for remembering that Awakened Eternal Essence within…  And so we move on and refocus, continuing to flow in that Stream of Life – remembering Who/What we really are – beyond job, beyond role, beyond identity…

I know that none of what I just said is “new.” J I am just reiterating what the wisdom sages and contemporary spiritual teachers teach.  I just wasn’t able to recall it at the time.   It emerged once again through my discussions with B over the weekend.   It evolved as I moved through the feelings and stages of shock, denial, anger, and acceptance, and a few glasses of wine. J lol…  And – through time in Silence today – remembering…

~

“You don’t play the game,
the game plays you…

The answer is not always
what you think it is…”

Author Unkown

~

Top Photo: Water dish for birds

zoom blurred

The Colors of Change...

I took myself and my head cold out for a photo excursion today
and discovered the brilliant colors of change.

"Life is this simple:

We are living in a world that is transparent
and the Divine is shining through it
all the time."

Thomas Merton

"Through our eyes the universe is perceiving itself.
Through our ears the universe is listening to its harmonies.
We are the witness through which the universe becomes
conscious of its glory, of its magnificence."

Alan Watts

 "Reflections don't affect the mirror.
There is only Existence that is unaffected
by our experience."

Bentinho Massaro 

"When I  run after what I *think* I want,
my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety;
if I sit in my own place of patience,
what I need flows to me
without pain...

From this I understand that what I want
also wants me, is looking for me
and attracting me.

There is a great secret here..."

Rumi

~

Unfortunately the sky was not its brilliant blue

(the top photo was taken last year).

We had cloud cover today because a storm is coming in tonight

with wind and rain,
 which means the leaves will be gone tomorrow.
And normally we don't get the brilliant reds and oranges!
An unusual year...

The Journey of a Lifetime...

The Journey of a Lifetime
© Paula Finn
Blue Mountain Arts, Inc.

“You’re on the journey of a lifetime…
A journey no one else will travel
and no one else can judge -
a path of happiness and hurt,
where the challenges are great
and the rewards even greater…

You’re on a journey where each experience
will teach you something valuable
and you can’t get lost,
for you already know the way by heart.

You’re on a journey that is universal

Yet uniquely personal, and profound
yet astonishly simple ~

where sometimes you will stumble
and other times you will soar.

You’ll learn that even at your darkest point,
you can find a light – if you look for it.
At the most difficult crossroad,
you’ll have an answer – if you listen for it.

Friends and family will accompany you
part of the way,
and you’ll walk the rest by yourself…
but you will never be alone.

Travel at your own pace,
There’ll be time enough to learn all you need to know
and go as far as you’re meant to go.
Travel light.
Letting go of extra baggage will keep your arms open
and your heart free to fully embrace the gifts
of the moment.

You may not always know exactly where your’re headed,
but if you follow the desires of your heart,
the integrity of your conscience,
and the wisdom of your soul…
then each step you take will lead you to discover
more of who you really are…”

© Paula Finn

Transitions...

We are in the season of transition, both seasonally and personally.  My husband starts a new job on Monday, after 8 months of no work.  We are preparing for the adjustment to a new rhythm of life again, tentatively breathing a sigh of relief.  We’ve been through this several times in the last 10 years – these seemingly endless endings and beginnings, beginnings and endings - endless transitions, always “inbetween.”  We thought we’d be used to it by now, but each time it’s an adjustment after long periods of no work and the intensity of continuously trying to find work in a deteriorating economy – along with the antics of politics that take precedence over the “common wealth.” J But we won’t go there…

It was really sudden how it all unfolded – the job that is – not the decline of government. J  He received a phone call at 8pm on Thursday night from a recruiter for a company that had seen his resume and was interested in him - could he interview the next day...  There was literally no time to prepare!  He had a terrible head cold – but…   The interview was scheduled for Noon on Friday.  He was notified less than two hours later that he had gotten the job and would be starting on Monday! Wow!  Immediate transition!  We’re both still a little numb.

It is a 3 month contract-to-hire job.  We’re hoping for the “hire” part J…    This is how a lot of companies are employing their workers now - contract jobs through recruiters. That way they don’t have to provide healthcare or other benefits, or give a reason to let you go at the end of the contract period if it doesn’t work out for *them.*   Each time we go through this it is an adjustment – either beginning or ending – trying to find a new rhythm with life – and catching up financially…  There *is* no “retirement” on the horizon – only the continuous cycles of life being lived, season to season…  Cue Lion King music… J  Although this has been a “radical shift” in only a matter of days, B feels it will be a seamless flow ~ that we are always in the ongoing stream of new beginnings.  Just call him Rafiki – the wise monkey. J

And I too seamlessly transitioned this weekend into my 64^th season of life; the timeless, unborn Self moving through time.   The conceptual mind is relieved –  not that I'm 64 - about the job, yet still hoping it will go longer than 3 months.  The mind can get really preoccupied with uncertainty when in perceived “survival mode” J - challenging me to stay open to the larger Truth of Existence…  I told my husband several weeks ago, after so long without work, that the best birthday present would be for him to have a job by my birthday.  It was said off-handedly.  Talk about down to the wire!  I’m still gobsmacked that it all unfolded this way!   Maybe the Universe really does listen… J lol

So we press on into the unknown, cautiously embracing life that is turning once again, providing yet another new beginning and opportunities for expanded awareness of the Mystery of Being - knowing deep in our Being that all is infinitely well...

WooHoo! J