Listen From The Depths...

In Deep Silence
In Deep Rest
In Deep Quiet
In Deep Awareness
Deeply listen...

Deeply unwind
the wounds
the dramas
the stories
that
create
your
pain

Sit
 in the *depths*
 of the Silence
of Existence
and
listen

suspended
in
Pure
Awareness

Touch and be touched by it -
this Sacred Silence,
this Awareness
that holds your
stories,
your
woundings

Listen deeply,

in Silence,

from Silence,

to the whisper of The Wound

Touch its depths
and
unwind The Wound
into the liquid flow
of Life
again…
resting in
the Depths
 of pure Being ~

Come fully and completely
into the Silent Flow
 of the
 depths of Life
within


Thrive
in
the Depths

the
depths
of
the
Silent
Rhythm
of
Being

Be *absorbed* by
IT…

Keep vigil
 from this space
of
 Sacred Silence

From here all things
are made
clear…

This is the key –

To meet life from the Depths of Being ~

To listen from the Depths of Being ~

To not be afraid of what you hear

whispered in the Depths ~

To listen to the Heart of Being
from the Heart of Being ~

And speak what you hear
in the Depths…

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
May 4, 2012

istock photo

The Awareness and Joy Of Being...

“Inside everyone
is a great shout of joy
waiting to be born…”

David Whyte
From: The Winter of Listening
The House of Belonging

Open awareness
changes us…

There is magic in deep listening,
in open awareness,
in Silence.
There is a subtle
but utterly reorienting shift
of perspective…
One finds oneself, locates oneself
as Here and Now and This.

It is only in those times of
deep listening, awareness
and Silence
that I know who I really am.

This Silence,
this deep listening,
is what we have been
looking for,
for a long, long time.

Remembering the stillness
at the heart
of our own lives
reunites us with
everything…

The Natural Contemplative

“To be awake is to be
unconditionally
open
to all that is.
To stay awake
is to surrender
totally
to unedited
and
unrestricted
awareness…”

Scott Morrison
Daily Dharma

When you become
very open and relaxed,
you can suddenly
be aware that
something else
is occupying
your body-mind.

Something else
is looking out from
your eyes,
listening from
your ears,
and feeling
your feelings.

Awakeness is inherent
in all things
and all beings
everywhere,
all the time…

You realize that behind
all your desires
was a single desire:
to experience
each moment
from your
true nature…

Adyashanti

Perspectives on Pain...

I spent the early part of this week in intense back pain.  Evidently I twisted my back while out pruning, weeding and raking last weekend.  The pain didn’t emerge until Sunday late afternoon, when suddenly the muscle along the spine on my right side went into spasm - and radiated around my ribs.  It was relentless.  I could not find a comfortable position.  I was able to reach around for a little self-massage to get a little relief at first. But I believe in all the twisting and turning of yard work a rib “popped” out of place, which was the main pain culprit..  I discovered that no matter how I tried to maintain perspective, pain changes you and your perspective.  It puts you in a seemingly unenlivened grey place that takes control of your life.  And I once again realized how fragile the body and life are, how quickly my settled, comfortable views about life and “self “ change, and how shadowed my “knowing” becomes when pain comes to call. In pain everything is moment to moment. 

The body does what the body does.  I have had chronic health and body issues since birth, so I understand the very real limitations of being in a physical body that doesn’t “work” the way I’d like it to :)  Fortunately I haven’t been in chronic pain.  But this recent experience with pain made me realize, amongst other things, that pain in the body is not a mental construct. There was no use in playing with the words when going through it, trying to convince myself of the difference between pain and suffering, and that suffering is only of the mind. My experience and awareness was that this body was in serious pain - “struggling” - even though I know that what we really are is beyond that pain.  I found myself automatically and unconsciously resisting it, and therefore in more pain, trying to find ways to alleviate it.  I’m no masochist :) I applied ice, heat, went to the doctor, took Advil and Ativan and tried to remember to breathe into the pain and relax, while at the same time wanting to escape the pain – a natural response.    

I can’t imagine that anyone who is in pain, or seriously ill, does not feel some sort of “suffering” in their body, as conscious and enlightened as they may be.   The body labors to live.   How easy it is when in pain to fall down that slippery slope of fear - suffering in the mind.  In the midst of pain “practices” like following the breath, being with the pain, going into the pain, embracing the pain, or telling myself the famous non-dual cliche that there is no one here that suffers, seemed like band-aids in light of the pain experienced.  In that moment there was nothing beyond that moment of pain.  I now feel greater compassion for those who have chronic physical pain – and how debilitating that is on every level.   I had all I could do to remember to ride the pain with a sense of awareness, and not fall down the mental and emotional sink hole of despair; although I had my moments – sliding back and forth between conscious and unconscious suffering.

I noticed that pain unmasks all the wonderfully comfortable mental ideas and beliefs that suffering is optional. Who ever said that!?  Maybe what is optional is the mental and emotional suffering.  But any explanation feels like a mental construct, a consoling lens through which to see pain from a conceptual point of view.  Sometimes “we” can get lost in lofty “spiritual” constructs.  Our personal and collective constructs of why suffering occurs can actually separate us from the pain that we and others experience by trying to put a rational explanation on “suffering.”  That is not to say that we need to fall down the rabbit hole of drama with our pain, but I see now that we need to call it what it is and acknowledge ours and each other’s suffering.  I am aware that The Buddha said suffering happens because we do not see the true nature of our suffering; the true nature of ourselves.  I understand this in terms of how our ignorance of our True Nature can cause unnecessary suffering.  But physical pain and suffering still happens.  It’s part of the mechanism of the body-mind, of being human, the fragility of the body and human existence – as I see and experience it anyway.  And in the pain anxiety automatically arises in the body, as if in response.  It is so subtle.  It is a body response, and I suspect a neural response to the pain.  And trying to see the experience differently had no affect on it. 

In the pain there was a dream-like sense of separation from awareness of the Truth of Existence – that there is no separation.  Pain became like a shield that separated, seemingly impenetrable.  And in that state of pain it was realized that we are all really living on the threshold of awareness, building constructs like ropes trying to save ourselves from our fragility – from our vulnerability – from pain – from death – from perceived separation that doesn’t exist… 

Humans suffer.  Understanding that who I really am is more than my body-mind does not necessarily help.  Being aware of my True Nature does not seem to help.  Knowing that I am not a separate “self” from Pure Awareness, and that it is That Awareness which is really experiencing this does not help. Understanding that there is a difference between pain and suffering does not help.  “Knowing” the Truth doesn’t relieve us from life happening as it does.  The only thing that relieves suffering in the experience of pain is the compassionate embrace of unconditional love from someone who knows what pain is like; not theories and constructs of why we suffer, or that there is nothing here that suffers, but someone who can help hold the suffering with you, in true compassionate intimacy.

So, in my spare time this week - :) - I have been pondering these perspectives on pain, noticing the effect of pain, waiting for the pain to stop.  And gratefully it did – Thursday.  The veil of pain lifted, opening a new perspective on pain and suffering…

I’m curious…  What is your perspective on pain?

Wise Cows...

“Animals do not spend years inventing and constructing burdens
 for themselves.

You do not walk into a field and encounter a cow who is seriously self-analyzing
and in deep turmoil because she is failing to connect with her ’inner Cow.’

It is highly improbable that you will ever meet a cow who is seriously
swamped by the fact that her project of self-improvement [enlightenment]
has unleashed this huge ancestral cow thing in her life,
and now she can hardly walk because she knows she is
 carrying all the cow karma of her ancestry.

As far as we know cows are not burdened in this manner
by ultimate questions…”
 

John O’Donohoe
Eternal Echoes

Maybe we should sit satsang
with the Cows!

Top Photo - istock photo

We found this sign on a cattle gate while out riding several years
 ago and couldn’t help but laugh.

  Smart Cows!
The owner just leaves them a sign to remember to close the gate!

Kind of reminds me when I was a kid and didn’t close the door.
My father would yell after me – “what’a ya live in a barn?”

Who Would You Be If You Weren't Who You Think You Are...?

Okay, so maybe I’m taking the “spiritual path” a little too seriously…  I don’t know.  It seems all the sages and “spiritual teachers” that I read and listen to have taken their path very seriously, which is why they are where they are – and why we follow them, emulating them.  But, am I being too serious...

Over at ZenDotStudio, Carole is following the path of Joy, which sounds a whole lot more fun than the one I’ve been on lately.  :)  I mean she is really enjoying life!   In my last post I didn’t mean to imply that the “spiritual path” could not be “fun” when I said there’s no getting comfortable on the “spiritual path” because it seems there’s always some issue to attend to, to look at, that needs pruning, etc..  Or that we need to constantly be working on our issues…    It’s just that some of us seem to have a harder time accessing Joy.

I commented on a friend’s blog post yesterday, who was dealing with feeling stagnant, in a kind of off-hand humorous way, that sometimes it helps me to see things differently when I use my imagination, to be playful, to take on a different role, or persona, say of someone I admire – like snoopy the dog for example in his scarf, goggles and flying cap.  You may remember that image. :)  Just the mere act of wrapping a scarf around my neck makes me feel more lighthearted and free.  Or, as my blogger friend suggested, wearing long, striped socks like Pippi Longstocking!  Yes!  I remember how much fun and freeing it was to play dress up as a kid.  Wearing a mixed match of clothes somehow put me into a different, more playful place, an imaginative place.  As a kid I didn’t think about it, it was just spontaneous and authentic fun.  There was no rightness or wrongness to it…  It was just innocent child’s play…

I had a Buddhist therapist one time who asked me about the people I admired and why, and then had me pretend to be them talking to me to find out what they would say to me.  Interesting exercise actually – although awkward – but it made the point.   Pretending to use the qualities that I admired in them, only to discover that I had those same qualities too…   And another therapist said that the clothes we wear make a difference in how we feel about ourselves.  So – maybe I need a change of costume…  Where did I put those goggles and flying cap…

And interestingly I had a conversation this morning with my husband about how we see our selves is only a glimpse of a larger story; how we limit ourselves by how we perceive ourselves, and not seeing the bigger picture.  And how we can use our imagination, play, roles and personas to go beyond who we think we are.  “Christine” is a persona, a fabrication of the self, a mental construct based on upbringing, conditioning, and who I have come to believe myself to be.  So why not use my imagination to play different aspects of the self – as children do – without constraining myself to an idea of who I think I am.  If self is just a mask for the pure Beingness that we are, then Beingness is free to take on any persona, mask, self, role, personality that it chooses, right?  And since there are so many aspects to this self that we have come to believe in, then why not use one that reflects more clearly, more transparently the essence of our Being.   Even “spirituality” can become a mask we hide behind… 

When Byron Katie asks, “who would you be without that thought?” we think in terms of – being happier, being calmer, more accepting, being freer.   But to put a humorous twist on it, why not think in terms of personas!  Who would I be without my thoughts that life is hard, stressful, lifeless, directionless, that I’m a failure, etc.   Of course the answer is supposed to point you to your True Self, and not another character, or persona.  So what would my True Self/Beingness look like without these thoughts, or these personas?  Or better still – how would I see life differently if I pretended to be who I really am - Beingness ItSelf…  I think I’ll try that one on for size and see how it fits.

WHO am I when Beingness is seen and recognized to be what is looking through these eyes?   I feel lighter already… :)

Photo

I couldn’t sleep one night
and did this piece at 2am.
I call it The Blue Cocoon :)

Still Clearing the Dead Wood...

I’m still pruning and clearing the deadwood here. :)

And I thought I’d share my observations.

As with stepping back and looking at the tree to see where it needs pruning, it seems I have to keep stepping back to look at myself with the Light of Awareness, to see what needs pruning - or else life will show me through situations and events :) like it just did in the previous 2 posts – here and here - showing me the dead wood of ignorance, and the branches of self-delusion that I have become entangled in recently.  Pruning sometimes requires surgical precision.  And sometimes the dead wood practically falls off by itself once the clear seeing of Awareness occurs. 

Clearing the dead wood, as I’m discovering, is also a process of stepping back to discover the Life that is already Here; that which is living this life called “me”, seeing beyond the dead wood to what thrives within, and what is experiencing this life being lived in every moment – Consciousness ItSelf…   But for some reason I keep clinging to the dead wood, erroneously believing what the mind tells me, with its emotionally habituated responses, in some kind of perpetual relationship…

This pruning and clearing away of the dead wood is an internal process of clearly seeing the beliefs, the mental concepts, emotional reactivity, the conceptual frameworks and structures that I have lived by, even “the spiritual paths” I’ve traveled down, that no longer reflect the Truth, that don’t allow Aliveness to thrive, that no longer allow flow with the movement of Life.  They must be seen through to the spaciousness of Truth ItSelf…

I recently heard a definition of ignorance as the inability to see clearly the Truth of who we really are – our True Nature, our Beingness – the simple Silent Awareness that is not reactive to any life situation but sees and allows *every* situation (and also allows for action when needed).  But somehow I keep forgetting to see life with this Light of Awareness and I get all hung up on the deadwood, living from the place of ignorance, identified *with* the story of the “bad” neighbor, or irritating husband, the failing economy, the unfairness of life, the dysfunctional needy family, or my emotionally fractured self, etc. – all stories that reinforce the inability to see clearly, leaving me veiled to the Truth of my Being.

It’s an ongoing cyclical process, this pruning and clearing.  It always seems to come around as life spirals onward to new awarenesses, new openings of Truth – revealing ItSelf.  It’s a natural process actually.  Who I believe myself to be is pruned away in order for the Truth to be revealed.  There’s no getting comfortable on the “spiritual path.”  It seems “the path” is about staying open and aware, pruning what is no longer needed, what no longer allows the Truth to be seen, and allowing the bare bones Truth that is already there to be intimately known; not arriving at or attaining any special state of “enlightenment” as a one time event that we can claim for ourselves as yet another identity – but being continually opened by Life, to the Heart of Being, and allowing the Truth that is there to unfold in and through us.  In doing so we are pruned – until we see beyond the deadwood of ignorance and self-delusion.

If I ask – Who/What am I really?  What is really here?  Or, what is the Truth in this situation? – in a meditative way - not looking for answers in the mind, but in the Heart of Being - I see that paradoxically I am both the story *and* Aware Consciousness in which this story of “me” plays out.  Not either/or, but one and the same.  In some ways “the stories” we find ourselves in become “the teaching” if we’re paying attention and not being absorbed and defined by our stories – as I was just recently.  Often what we dismiss as story shows us where we most need pruning, where we need to see clearly, in order to thrive in the Truth.  And sometimes the best teaching comes out of our own failings to see clearly – once we see…

And it is then seen that thriving in the Truth of who we are is really a matter of recognizing the living Truth that we are, the Spaciousness in which the story of our life occurs – like the clouds that are suspended in the spaciousness of the sky. In spending time in meditative Silence, in the Spaciousness of Pure Awareness, I recognize that the Truth is so much vaster and clearer than the stories I’ve been telling myself *about* “the situation.”  The Truth of Pure Beingness that we are always sees clearly…  It’s where we thrive… 

Pruning Trees - Pruning "The Situation"

For those who have been reading this blog for a while, you may remember my post on Creating a Heart Tree last year.  Our River Birch is old and last year much of it died off.  We did deep root fertilization both last Spring and this Spring to see how much of it might come back. And of course I put little heart stones, sage and Faerie ornamentation at it’s base to “help” – if only in my mind. :)  We love our symbols :)  It really started to come to life again last year – but only about half of it thrived.  As you can see, it remained bald on top.  So we spent Saturday pruning the dead wood.  Tree artists we are not, but we did a pretty good job I think.  It looks a little dwarfish, and asymmetrical.  Yet I love still having this little guy in the front yard.

 

Pruning: to remove dead parts to improve growth – to cut out what is superfluous…  Who knew that pruning a tree would become a metaphor for working with “the situation” that I spoke of in my previous post.

As we were pruning – me holding the rope and DH climbing the ladder with the chain saw to reach the dead wood - our neighbor came walking up the sidewalk with his chain saw in hand and offered to assist.  I mean, how can you refuse a man with a chain saw, despite “the situation”, right?  Yes, this is the same father of “the situation” from my last post.  Which once again proves to me that life is a continuously unfolding story, and we never know how it’s going to unfold.  My mind thought – this is interesting.  I wonder why he’s doing this.  How can I say anything to him about “the situation” now with this generous offer of help?  Actually his offer of kindness was quite skillful in a way – it diffused “the situation” for the moment.  So we exchanged pleasantries and gratitude and the pruning began.

As the three of us engaged in the act of pruning, focused on the tree, it became clear that now was not the time for discussion.  It became clear, to me anyway, that somehow this was a time of getting clear, clearing away my image of him as “enemy” and to see the essence of the situation, to let go of the mental stories I had been telling myself, and to experience his basic goodness and humanness – and mine as well – at the heart of the interaction…  This is not to make light of “the situation”, or to deny that there aren’t issues here that need to be addressed… I am still being watchful - but with more detached mindfulness, a deeper sense of awareness, and less of the mind reactive, angry energy that wants to “catch” his son in the act, to try to control his behavior and get him to see the “wrongness” of his actions.

As a wise commenter said on the last post, “make friends…”  And I interpret that to mean to make friends with “the situation” – not the kid - but the situation – to make peace with it. If I befriend the situation, then he and his son are no longer my enemies and I am at peace…  Bazinga!  Sometimes these irritants in life are offered as a way of seeing beyond the surface situation, to the pearl of wisdom in the situation.  The neighbor’s offer of help and presence working along side us actually diffused my emotional reactivity to “the situation” – my projection, my mental habituation about “the situation.”    And I think that had to happen before any discussion could occur.

With space from “the situation”, and pruning some of my emotional dead wood, I realize that I have been attached to my anger and reactivity about “the situation.”  Thus I was held captive in my own emotional castle of protection, feeling under siege, fortressing myself against “the enemy” by maintaining a reactive stance, instead of seeing clearly and responding from a clear space, as another wise commenter said – using  Manjusri’s sword…  But what I didn’t realize is that I would have to use that sword to cut my way through the veils that blinded me, and not bring my baggage into “the situation.”  It remains to be seen if I can actually do this – to stand in the clear ground of Being within and take the appropriate action without my mind-muddied passive aggressive reactiveness getting in the way.  Only time will tell…

Who knows what effect this “tree pruning” work will have on “the situation”, pruning out the dead wood of my emotions towards “the situation” – allowing a new awareness and consciousness to flow… For now there are no resolutions.   And yet I feel a door has been opened for the possibility of dialogue.  My heart has softened towards “the situation.”  I’m not about to do battle with a 13 year old.  I’m amazed that a 13 year old could create such anxiety, anger and reactivity in me!   There is still a sense of watchful waiting, of discerning the most effective approach.  Asking questions like: How do I need to engage here?  Through my self-imposed mental suffering about the situation, through a sense of wounded anger and “rightness” of my position, through a sense of false power that comes from a need for self-protection? Or, from a place of awareness of our shared humanity with an open heart…

The pruning continues…  It may take a while :)

"The Situation"

No, I’m not talking about “Jersey Shore” here.  And some of you probably don’t even know what that is.  I barely do.  Evidently it is a controversial TV program about a group of twenty-somethings gone wild in New Jersey.  The people playing the parts actually have real names like “Snooki” and “The Situation.”  Thus this title, and story here.

We have a “situation” next door that I have no idea how to handle.  Our neighbor’s son has entered puberty and there has been a spiraling increase in wildness.  Some say he’s just being a teen - but it is creating a “situation.”  Did I already say that?  You see I’m beginning to get absorbed by “the situation.”  My life is being disrupted on a regular basis by “the situation”, which is a 13 year old and a single parent who evidently doesn’t think there *is* a “situation.”

About a year ago the then tween decided he wanted to be Daniel Boone and his mother (ex-wife of single parent next door) decided to buy him a bow and arrow.  He, unbeknownst to us, but with his father’s knowledge, had target practice in his back yard – aimed at our fence – which means he was aiming into our backyard.  Well, of course, Daniel Boone he is not, so one errant arrow flew over the fence, *across* our yard, and into the neighbor’s fence on the other side - who has two toddlers.  Some of you may remember that post – here.  When I discovered the arrow I was pretty sure where it had come from, but waited to see if the owner would come a knocking to claim it…  Nope.  Several days later an opportunity presented itself for a conversation with his dad.  I waited for him to broach the subject – nada. So I asked him if he would happen to know anything about the arrow in the fence. “Why yes I would” he said – and proceeded to give me the story of the bow and arrow.  But – no apology – like gee, I’m sorry, my son could have killed you…    Says a lot about a man’s character, don’t you think…

Wellllll – then tween turned into teen last Summer and was given a Pellet Rifle – evidently for “target practice” - but the targets are rabbits and squirrels.  Daddy evidently said it was okay to shoot rabbits and squirrels – for fun. We found three dead in our yard last year – one on the patio and one rotting with maggots under a bush; which of course means he was shooting in our direction.  Hubby had a talk with Daddy and Daddy evidently thinks killing innocent animals for fun is “sport” – does not see them as living beings to be respected.  I actually saw him shoot a rabbit from out his back door.  I think he heard me gasp and pulled the rifle back in.  I have checked with the police and *if* the rifle is a certain caliber it is considered a “firearm” which is illegal to have in the city where we live.  I have no idea what caliber it is.  And even if I knew, and reported it, they would know it was me who reported them – and then what – fear or retribution.  I told you I was getting absorbed by the story :)  I’m a character playing out a role in this ridiculous, attention consuming, anxiety provoking story that I had no intention of getting into – at least consciously.

Interestingly, a paper target that they sometimes actually use for practice, flew into our back yard with the wind and landed on the patio a few weeks ago.  Divine intervention or what?!  I am thinking of taking it to the police station to see if they can determine by the size of the hole that if left in the paper what caliber it is.  But still – there’s that sticky “situation” of actually filing a complaint and having the sheriff show up at their house and take the gun away.  The kid is a very angry teen and already dislikes me, because I watch him, from the window when I’m working at my desk.  Now he watches to see if I’m sitting there watching him.  I figure it’s a good deterrent if he thinks I might be watching.  But, I also think it has only created animosity and sneakiness.  In other words, I think I’ve already blown it.  I was never a parent, so I have no clue about “handling” teens – especially angry ones.

Last Fall we discovered he liked setting fires with an acetylene torch – evidently with his father’s knowledge – or so I was told, rather surly.  I watched one day as he and a friend set fire to dead pine needles *under* a pine tree, and various other dead objects of nature around his yard.  They enjoyed it way too much – laughing and dancing into a frenzy.  Pyromaniac came to mind.  Finally I opened the window and said something when they were lighting dead tall grass on fire at the corner of their garage, and not 5 feet from a huge 50 foot spruce tree that overhangs the corner of our property!  I was told, as if I was beneath him, that his father was aware that they were doing it, and they were “handling it.”  Being reactive, head sticking out second floor window, I replied that if I had to call the fire department there would be a big problem.   I got the basic ignore from an angry teen with a weapon of mass destruction who is learning to kill for fun.  And we wonder why there is no peace on the planet.   

I hope this is not too much story, or that you are expecting some wondrous “spiritual” insight to come at the end :)  Walking a “spiritual path” does not make us immune to “the human story.”  It’s all story – even “the spiritual path.”  If anything this story points out how, in general, we don’t realize the impact our actions have on each other – the ripple effect.

Oh and one more part of the story. :)  Yesterday we were eating dinner and suddenly we saw the kid jumping back and forth from the top of his tool shed onto the top of our tool shed – over the 6 foot fence, and probably 6 feet of space between the two, while dear daddy is lying in the hammock hidden behind the fence.  They were evidently playing Pirates of the Caribbean, as he was brandishing a sword – the father that is!  Hopefully a play one, but who knows.  I opened the window to say something – but he heard the noise of the window and jumped off the roof to hide – behind the fence.  But I went to my tower window, of course, and saw him hiding there, and then he saw me watching him.   Awkward…

I am at a loss about “the situation.”  I have no rapport with this kid.   He hasn’t been able to make eye contact with me since they moved in 6-7 years ago.  And I have probably made an enemy in the last year playing the grumpy old lady next door, watching from her tower.  Not a good thing with a kid with a gun and a torch.  Even so, I feel the need to be watchful.  It is apparent to me that “the situation” – as it is – requires vigilance and appropriate action. And speaking to the father?  Well – we tried that with the arrow and squirrel incident. Like father like son, as they say… 

S0 - I am waiting for the “right way” to reveal itself – for the “right” opportunity and timing…  I know he will continue to challenge us, to test the boundaries to see how far he can go and how much he can get away with.  And it’s only just beginning!

If anyone has any suggestions on how to handle “the situation”, or can offer a little perspective here, I’m open to hearing it! :)

Photo
That is not fire coming out his
ear and butt,
although I wonder…
It’s something red on the ground :)
And he does not have tattoos.
Those spots showed up when
I digitally altered the photo…

Falling Off The Edge...

Days unfold like waterfalls.
Nights are welcome Silence
at the window -
just sitting,
allowing
the flow
of the
day
to
come
to
the
edge
and
gently
fall
away

~
~
~

into
rest

~
~

~

A smooth
sliding
movement
of
awareness
finding
its
own
Rhythm
empties
out
the
eddies
of
life

~
~
~

Letting go
of trying

trying
to
make
sense
of
life;
trying
to
make
anything
happen

~
~
~

Just deeply relaxing

Just
 falling

 e
f
f
o
r
t
l
e
s
s
l
y

into
the
still
rest
 of inner
Silence
~
~
~
the mind
slips off the edge
and
down
the
sides

~
~
~
resting

Sitting
under
the
cascading
              waterfall of
                                   deep Silence
feeling
               the gentle
rhythmic
              movement
envelope
           my being
I slip
       into
           its
                    soft
                                  crevice

            into the
 folds of
                         deep
                                               Stillness

the softness
of
just Being
~
~
~


The Natural State
~
~
~

Mystic Meandering

©April 23, 2012

Fun-Qi Art™
Oct. 2009

Emerging Joy...

“What I really want to express

is the joy of living fully

through each day -

but can’t find the vocabulary

to describe

such an incredibly

simple

experience.”

Barry Briggs

Ox Herding

I find myself feeling this way too, as I unexpectedly tripped over Joy this week.  No words can truly express the *sense* of lightheartedness, the *sense* of deep contentment, equanimity, and dare I say – “happiness” – that inexplicably arose from some well deep within.  I did not go searching for it.  It revealed itself, when I was quiet and open - resting in the space of Awareness.  But – let me explain how it came about…

Last Friday a fellow blogger, Tracy at Prana Light, mentioned something in her post about The Open Heart Project  founded by Susan Piver , and gave a link.  Curious, I clicked on the link and watched a couple of introductory videos, and poked around to see what I could find – particularly if there was a sense of “awake presence”, and did I resonate…    I found other of Susan’s brief Dharma Talks and Meditation videos on Vimeo and proceeded to watch several of them over the weekend.  Susan basically teaches a form of Tibetan Buddhist meditation called “Shamatha”, also known as the "practice of peaceful abiding," which is simply a breath awareness meditation.  Although I have been meditating for several years,  the breath awareness meditation unexpectedly touched my heart and opened me in a way I can’t explain – and something in me responded.  My body, mind and spirit said – YES - and a simple quiet Joy, a childlike happiness of heart, began to emerge from within – something I haven’t felt in a long time…

I curiously noticed throughout the week that there was a new sense of openness and spaciousness about life as well; an evolving relaxed presence, an allowing of life without the constant mind struggle of reactive, critical thoughts creating a veil to this inner sanctum of Joy.  I became less rattled by life events – usually :) - although by the end of the week it was noticed that the usual reactivity was still available and functioning.  Like this morning when I opened Blogger and found that it had all changed! Not that I wasn’t warned – but still.  The reactive mind had a hey-day, like an old computer program that hadn’t been disabled.

Following the fluidity of the breath of life opened the door to places I have never been before, allowing me to experience simple, inexplicable quiet “joy” - and even that isn’t the “right” word – despite the funky mind computer system that wants to play out endlessly…

Who knew that an online meditation practice for 10 mins, 2-3 times a day, would have such an incredible impact; a wonderful deepening and enhancement of my regular meditation.  And this is not a promotional for Susan Piver - at all.  Truth comes through many different vehicles – when least expected. We all have to find the people and ways that resonate with us. I know it is not “her.”  Am just saying the practice of meditation she offers became the vehicle for the realization of an inexpressible Joy within me that was subtly felt and experienced off and on all week.  I’m sure it has been there all along.  I just had to open the door…

Fun-Qi Art™
Emerging Joy
Mystic Meandering
April 18, 2012

Plumbing the Depths...

Do not be afraid to
plumb
the
depths
of your Being,
of Truth;
to question
everything
you
have
learned



Take the journey deeply inward
to your beginnings – and endings;
to the Silent hum
in the Heart
of all Life
that sings,
and
see
for
your
self.




There are many caravans to follow,
those aspiring to enlighten you
with their words,
left like firewood to light your way,
along the road…


But only in Sacred Silence can the journey be made
to the Heart of Being;
to discover the depths of Being ~
of That which you are;
That which wants to
live,
express,
and love
Here


Do not let fear stop your descent
into the inner Vastness:
the
deep Ocean
of the awakened
Heart…


Be still,
and open…


Follow the plumb line,
of your breath,
past the Furies and the Sirens
into the soft ebullience
of Love,
and quiet Joy,
waiting for you,
like ethereal
liquid pools
of Light,
drawing
you
in



Rest Here



In
the
depths
of
this
Alive
Silent
Spacious
Awareness

Listen to the endless
Rhythm already
holding
you
in the cradle
of the Heart…




Feel
the
pervasive
contentment
of Life
Here
in
the
depths of
Sacred
Silence,
that animates
every cell,
every atom,
every sound,
every thought,
every feeling ~
until you know
THIS
as
your
self


Simply Living…




Mystic Meandering
©April 17, 2012

Fun-Qi Art™
©2010

Resting in the Depths...

"…make the final leap into awareness
without the slightest basis for determining
what is spiritual or not -
this bare state with no reference point
is beyond the cage of philosophy.

…rest in infinite evenness –
…experience the true nature of
phenomena, as their equalness.

There are no gods to worship,
no demons to exorcise,
nothing to cultivate in meditation.
This is the completely ordinary state.

With the single state of evenness
there is openness,
a relaxed and unstructured openness.

How delightful -
things are timelessly
ensured without having to be done,
and being free of effort
and achievement,
you are
content."

Longchenpa
Dzogchen

"Silence is the deepest teaching.
It gives you access to the deeper
dimension of Being..."

Adyashanti

"Go within yourself
and probe the depths
from which your life springs,
and there at its source
you’ll find
the answer..."


Rainer Maria Rilke
A Year With Rilke

Enter deeply into the depths of Being.
Allow yourself to sink more fully,
more completely into Being ~
into intimacy with
internal Stillness…

Allow your body and mind
to experience
the Fullness,
the Spaciousness,
the Presence,
the Knowingness,
the Awareness
of Silence…

Go into the very core
of Being ~
the all encompassing,
all embracing
Rest of Being…



Mystic Meandering
Meditative writings
2004-2006