My Grandmother's Mandala...

I have many memories of my grandmother crocheting
doilies and table cloths with fine cotton threads.
  She taught me, but mine never came out like hers.
 I have many of the ones she made.
  This one I have on my little meditation table.

As I was lighting the candle and striking the bowl the other day, I noticed it underneath, although it has been there all along, and saw how it was really like a mandala – made of interwoven threads.  I remembered the movement of my grandmother’s small, gentle hands and how the crochet hook would dip and pull each loop of thread through so quickly and easily.  I remembered the soft, contented look on her face as she crocheted, following an unending rhythm.  It was easy to be in her presence – connecting in the silence of our hearts.  The crocheted “mandala” also reminded me of how intricately woven her wheel of life was, of which I was only a thread.  Her wrinkle in time lasted 93 years. 

We wrote letters back and forth to each other when I was a teenager and young adult, when she moved to Maine and then Southern California; sharing a special bond.  Her ripple in time was absorbed back into the Ocean of Being nearly 15 years ago. 

~*~

“The Silence which is not the silence of the ending…
is only a beginning.
It is like going through a small hole
to an enormous,
wide expansive ocean,
to an immeasurable, timeless state…”

J. Krishnamurti

“Death is only for the imagined separate self.
…..for who you truly are there is no death.”

Jeff Foster

Read the whole article:
 “Why there is no death”

~*~

Top Photo - Color Invert
Gives the affect of the Ocean
behind the doilie,
which is actually the
grain of the wood…

Art Speaks "The Mystery"...

Art speaks in a language I cannot express, from a wordless place, through imagery and symbolism – whether abstract or the precision of a mandala - allowing entry into the Mystery of Being that we all are…  

Lately I have been running out of things to say (except now of course) :).  So I have been allowing the mandala art and photography to speak, and even that has gone silent for the moment. Sometimes I may feel inspired to add a few lines of words, whether mine or others, :) and at times add a few lines of explanation, or clarify something in a comment, as we all see art differently, assign different meanings, different interpretations, or significance, based on our conditioning, our unique view of Reality, and our level of awareness of the “the Mystery” within.    

Some have the “just here”, “just now”, “just this”, grounded view of life – for me, limiting the view to our humanity - projecting that onto the greater Reality.  But that is my interpretation – or possibly mis-interpretation.   Words like “cosmic” or “mystic” or “mystery” may seem “otherworldly” to some – and they may feel a need to ground the mystics in “reality.”  But whose reality?   Are we forgetting that earth is only part of a larger cosmos, a grand infinity; a tiny speck whirling in space, not the ground of Beingness ItSelf?  Have we become grounded in our perceived solidity and forgotten how impermanent it all is?

Reality (capital R), like art, is always as we see it, not as it really is.  Others, like me, are more cosmic in nature, oriented toward seeing “the Mystery” of Life, in and as everything; the spacious aliveness of living Being animating everything – projecting a cosmic view of “spirituality.”  Both views are true – the Eternal Mystery of Being *is* “just this”, “just now”, already here.  But I do not write to persuade, correct, or convince.   I write to clarify the View for myself.  We do not need to convince each other of our point of view, either directly or indirectly. We can leave that to the spiritual teachers, gurus and sages of old.  Reality is what it is, no matter what we *believe* about it, or what we project into it.  And the “point” of the “spiritual journey” (if there is only one point) is to let go of our “beliefs”, our personal point of view, and realize the essence of Reality for ourselves (or so I’ve been told), in whatever way IT reveals ItSelf to us, through whatever means.  For some through mediation, prayer, and a contemplative lifestyle; for others through time in nature; through art, creativity, writing poetry, music, or through spiritual teachings; ultimately, through listening to the “Spirit” of Life ItSelf – for the “Spirit” of Life within speaks to us in a language that is beyond words, much like art, a language that speaks to the Heart, a language that we can hear and receive, if we are open to it.

Whatever our personal mental understanding of “the Mystery” is, IT is still a wordless mystery, and IT speaks to each one of us differently. For we are all different wrinkles in time, unfolding uniquely in the cosmic fabric of Reality. 

Namaste…

~*~

Speaking of View :)

The pictures below were taken as I was lying on the couch
 for a few moments of needed rest last week.
My awareness was captured by the simplicity
of Life living ItSelf outside my window…

The images speak to me of the Stillness of just Being
which is probably what I needed :)…

Enjoy the View however It speaks to you…

“The timeless dimension of our being is awaiting realization.”
   Tara Brach – True Refuge

“Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world.
The forms may change,
yet the essence remains the same.”

Rumi

“…what is really true?
Is there something behind the appearances,
something boundless
and infinitely spacious,
in which the dance of change
and impermanence
take place?”

Sogyal Rinpoche

“The real world is beyond our thoughts and ideas.
We see it through a net of pleasure and pain,
right and wrong, inner and outer.
To see the universe as it is
you must step beyond the net.”

Nisargadatta

“Don’t expect anyone to understand your journey,
especially if they haven’t walked your path.”

Author Unknown

~

Photo: Cosmic Meditating Monks Mandala
Zoom Blurred

Cosmic Meditating Monks Mandala...

“We are afloat in a sea of immensity.
The mind has no hope of working
it’s little tricks here.
It is faced with an emptiness
that never began,
and it shrivels in the face of
such grand nonchalance.

And yet inside this egg,
this shell of me-ness,
the immensity continues,
unburdened,
untroubled:
never born,
never dying,
sailing into
luminous night…”

Author Unknown
via: Wonder, Silence, Gratitude

"You are not IN the universe,
you ARE the universe.
You are a focal point
where the universe is
becoming conscious of itself…”

Eckhart Tolle

~*~

This mandala was made with compass, ruler and a template.
I had the vision of this one dancing in my head for some time.
I made the meditating monk template from a photo
in a catalogue of a meditating monk statue…
The piece of black paper came with little white dots on it,
looking like little stars in space, giving the piece a cosmic look .
I just enhanced the dots inside the little meditating figures,
giving them the affect of impermanence,
of formlessness within form;
of *being* the Universe...

Life Breaks Through...

“There is a brokenness
out of which comes the unbroken,
a shatteredness
out of which blooms the unshatterable.
There is a sorrow
beyond all grief which leads to joy
and a fragility
out of whose depths emerges strength.

There is a hollow space
too vast for words
through which we pass with each loss,
out of whose darkness
we are sanctioned into being.

There is a cry deeper than all sound
whose serrated edges cut the heart
as we break open to the place inside
which is unbreakable and whole,
while learning to sing.”

Rashani Rae – 1991

Infinite Cosmic Waves Mandala...

The Silence of the Great Void
that appears as an empty chasm
connects us
to the Infinite Cosmic Waves of Love…

We are the face of
”The Divine”,
the face that lights our face,
inseparable…

The Infinite Cosmic Spirit
echoes our face
before we are born…

We are loved beyond measure

When we know this
we will heal…

Meditative Writings
Mystic Meandering
April 2013

~*~

“Face that lights my face,
you spin intelligence into
these particles [that] I am…”

Rumi

~*~

This Mandala was made with compass and templates.
The profiles in the center circle were made from a bookmark
shaped like the crescent moon.
The waves in the larger circle were from a wave template.

Sanctuary...

In meditation last week the word “sanctuary” arose in answer to a question of “what is needed?” with all the emotional chaos and over stimulation that I have been experiencing in life lately – like the last 3 years J.  And since I won’t be packing up and moving to a monastery any time soon, I wondered how I would “create” this emotional and physical sanctuary that was required for my well-being – not as an escape, but as respite.  As synchronicity would have it, dear hubby was going to be out of the house on Friday and Saturday for several hours each day.  At the time I thought I would use this time to catch up on some cleaning.  Instead, Life required “sanctuary” and I knew it as soon as he left.   As I shut the door behind him, I felt an immediate call to Sacred Silence – the refuge that truly nourishes my Heart. 

I went to my meditation space, lit a candle, burned incense, rang a bell and sat.  Breathed – and settled.  I relaxed into the inner Silence that enlivens this being – my true Sanctuary.

I began to notice body sensations – the remnants of anxiety and depression: heaviness and tightness in the gut, chest and throat; the foggyhead, the aching muscles from left over guardedness.  And vestiges of the mental gymnastics that keep me bound to living on the surface of life.  I felt sadness emerge from the depths again in waves, and acknowledged its presence.  It rose and dissipated with recognition.  In “Sanctuary” everything is allowed and embraced, seen and acknowledged:  fear, anxiety, anger, depression, sadness, even happiness and joy, as the Presence of Silence envelopes it.  In “Sanctuary” they are only waves upon the deeper Ocean of Being.

In the “Sanctuary” of inner Stillness I asked: What is the deeper need?

I listened deeply for the Voice of Silence that always whispers the Truth.

“Sanctuary" was the reply once again.
"Rest in the inner Sanctuary,
aware of everything:

thoughts, feelings, sensations, body;
the pulse of Silence, and
the Rhythm of Life running through it all."

I relaxed deeply, held in the unborn, pre-existent, ever flowing, ever fluid, ongoing Infinite Now - the ground of our being - that comsumes the past, present and future; experiencing the felt sense of Presence once again – “Sanctuary.”

“Sanctuary” is a place of deep nourishment, embraced by pure Presence.  It is a place to incubate, to open to the depths of Reality and and explore the Eternal Now.  It offers an invitation to turn around, to return to the inner cosmos of Being; to collapse the mind, the self, and let go of conceptual reality, experiencing what is Real – the Isness of Being ItSelf – Primoridial Existence  - simply Being.

“Sanctuary” is the internal Stillness of the peaceful contentment of a tranquil heart and mind in tune with the Cosmos.

“We must get back into relation,
vivid and nourishing relation to
the cosmos and the universe…
For the truth is,
we are perishing for lack of fulfillment
of our greater needs.
We are cut off from the great sources
of our inward nourishment and renewal,
sources which flow eternally in the universe.”

DH Lawrence
~*~

Photo:
Indra's Net of Jewels Mandala
digitally radially blurred...
Magic! :)

Small Nourishments for the Heart...

Empathy/Compassion

“Not the ones speaking the same language,
but the ones sharing the same feeling
understand each other…”

Rumi

Saying YES to Feeling

“In the willingness to feel,
there is healing.
In the choice
not to closet,
cast aside
or
deny experience,
energy is freed,
and I dive deeper into life.

To be fully alive is saying
yes to a wide array of human feelings.
When I soften, release and breathe,
I discover I am more than
what I think, feel, reason,
or believe…”

Danna Faulds
Excerpt from “Willingness”
Go In and In

Listening To Your Heart Song

“Hiding in this cage
of visible matter
is the invisible
lifebird.

Pay attention
to her…

She is singing
your song.”

Kabir

~*~ 

Photo #3
Taken from outside a
basket looking in
through the weave...

Breakthrough - Acceptance and Awareness...

I’ve been hidden behind a cloud of depression the last couple of weeks.  Dealing with an aging body that doesn’t allow me to do the things I once did with ease; dealing with family dysfunction that tends to keep life in constant chaos, like an undertow of unconsciousness pulling me under; and just the challenges of everyday life with its distractions that keep pulling at me – resisting the pull…

Last week I returned to a regular sitting meditation practice that became part of the breakthrough.  Sitting in meditative Silence without agenda, bringing awareness to what is Aware within, is healing.  Not needing life to *go* a certain way, or needing to *do* something about the way life is going; not needing to *react* to life, but resting in the inner space of Silent Awareness.  Unless one has experienced this deep Awareness of Being, it is hard to explain, and sounds rather boring, maybe even anxiety provoking to sit in the space of Silence.  But it does make a difference.  You become aware of an aliveness in the Silence that speaks, that has rhythm, that is aware.  A recognition arises that you are that Silence, that Awareness.  And you realize that it is this Pure Awareness/Consciousness – the One Reality - that is living us and what we call “my life.”  I must be reminded of this all the time.  It is the mind that keeps dragging me into the shadows of unawareness and non-acceptance, where I beat myself up.

This morning, as I was waking, the words “accept life” came to me.  Really!? J Where have I heard that before! J  Another breakthrough.  Yes, of course!  I was excited as I began to feel “acceptance” for life welling up within.  The cloud started to lift.   I had in mind that I would get up and do my “normal” routine, then meditate, start a mandala, read, do laundry, and maybe do the budget – with acceptance of course - maybe.  Instead, I was distracted by a rather lengthy conversation with my husband, reading inspiring blogs, and unexpectedly wrote this blog post!  I did eventually sit in silent meditation late in the afternoon. J But the day unfolded completely different than I had anticipated.  The mind said: “I should have done such and such…”  Acceptance said, all is as it should be.   

Acceptance is not new, of course.  This is what most great Spiritualities teach – Acceptance and Awareness – the keys to living freely and peacefully…   In seeing life as a distraction, or only seeing the distractions in life that keep *me* from what I *think* I really want, anger and frustration arise - daily, which led to depression (anger turned inwards).  I was identifying with the small disgruntled, unhappy “me”, unaware of the Spacious Awareness of Being that accepts life as it is in a fluid dance of living.  I had forgotten how to dance with life.  It seems for me to be an ongoing process of revelation.

In becoming aware and accepting there was a sense of release and freedom, a sense of anticipation, not expectation, about life without dread of what the day would bring. In Meditative Silence one begins to see life more holistically; that life just is the way it is.  From the space of meditative Awareness there is acceptance and allowing for everything – including depression – that needs to be brought into daily living.  And, I am once again reminded that it’s how we *see* life that makes the difference - the perception.  That too is a key to staying open and aware to what life offers us.

“Think in ways you never thought before.
If the phone rings, think of it as
carrying a message,
larger than anything you’ve ever heard…

When someone knocks on the door,
think that he’s about to give you
something large:
tell you you’re forgiven,
or that it’s not necessary to work all the time,
or that it’s been decided that
if you lie down
no one will die…”

Robert Bly
excerpt from Morning Poems

Via – Love Is a Place

Who’s knocking at your door?
What message is life bringing you
disguised as a distraction, as depression,
as frustration?

You might be surprised!
Knock, Knock… J

Indra's Net of Jewels Mandala...

Why I am drawn to drawing mandalas, I don’t know.  I especially like the precision and symmetry of sacred geometry; how the language of symbols and patterns come together.  It’s a mystery, like the Cosmos itself… I have started working on black paper, and I think I like it. :)

As I was working with this mandala, a net-like image started to evolve.  It brought to mind Indra’s Net of Jewels.  Although I had heard the term before, I really didn’t know what it meant, so I had to look it up.  An article on Indra’s Net has a good explanation for those who aren’t familiar with it. 

Essentially it is a metaphorical symbol attributed to Buddhism and Hinduism/Advaita Vedanta about the interdependence and intereconnectedness of the infinite cosmic matrix of life itself.  Each jewel at an intersection point on the net reflects the essence of all the other jewels, reflecting the same basic nature, mirroring how we each intrinsically reflect and affect each other in a ripple effect in the cosmic network all the time.  

The symbol in the circle in the middle is a variation of the Sanskrit symbol for Aum (OM), which is the primordial sound of the Universe that emanates from an infinite cosmic vibration out of the Void, or Emptiness.  It is basically represents the Absolute, or “God”, or the originating Life Force – however we each call that inherent essence of Being…

~*~

“You must be ready to accept
the possibility that there is a limitless
range of awareness for which we now
have no words;
that awareness can expand beyond
range of your ego, your self,
your familiar identity,
beyond your notions of
space and time,
beyond the differences
which usually separate people
from each other and
from the world around them.”

The Tibetan Book of the Dead

~*~

“Ultimately there is light and love and intelligence
in this Universe.

And we are it.

We carry that within us.

It’s not just something ‘out there.’

It is within us
and this is what
we are trying to
re-connect with -
our original light,
love and intelligence,
which is who we are.

…remember…”

Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo

(A Tibetan Buddhist nun)

The Infinite Sanctuary of Silence...

Being pulled inward
by the oceanic Sacred Silence within,

the Infinite Sanctuary of Silence,
you feel something deeply stirring,
 awakening

into
 awareness.

You know you must pay attention;

that you must be still and listen.

You sense the space of Essential Quietness
where everything just stops.
all mental agitation,
all emotional reactivism,

all verbalization of thought…

There is only the deepening language
of Silence;
a holy enclave of silent repose.
with no need for outward expression.

You recognize the spacious Stillness of pure Beingness.
You hear Its silent call…

The deep abode of inherent silent Awareness

invites you deeper,
 where Life just IS;

a deeper Reality,
out of which “daily reality” arises.

You experience an all pervasive Silence here,
 absorbing you in its quintessence;
the Sanctuary of the Sacred Rhythm of Life,
 the Primordial Womb

Pure Silence...
Pure Peace...

At rest...

Home

©Mystic Meandering

3-24-2013

Photo: Snow against window pain from the inside
photo flipped upside down…

See Beyond the Facade...

“We are here to awaken
from the illusion of our separateness…”

Thich Nhat Hanh

“Darkness does not become light,
for there is only light…

You are Life ItSelf undivided
from the power that moves the planets.”

Jeff Foster

“Only when the mind is completely free
from yesterday,
and is therefore not using the present
as a means to the future,
is it capable of receiving
the eternal…”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

“…behind this outer façade,
another life is going on in you.”

John O’Donohue

Photos during snow fall Friday night…
Top two photos are of a street light...
And what looks like a building in those photos
is a reflection on the glass of a wall hanging -
an illusion of a building...

Spring Buds Mandala...

This is my latest mandala creation, using both compass and free form, expanding into something colorful for the Spring Equinox… I did not make a final circle around this one, but simply left it unconfined, leaving little openings for emergence and expansion – like Spring!   I will admit I am more of a monochromatic type person – liking to use different shades and gradients of the same color.  But hey, one needs to expand their horizons right! :)  I am experimenting with color and light, and some new techniques - feeling a bit stuck in the design process; probably due to a lack of imagination. :)  I feel like I have reached a "dead end" of sorts already, although I’m just beginning, not knowing where to go next, needing a cartographer/teacher to help fill in the gaps of my unknowing.  So I am attempting to learn from the many masters of mandalas by osmosis. :)  

Speaking of which, there is a wonderful website page of *beautifully* designed luminous mandalas by Prema.  Her work is a wonderful inspiration.  Another luminous mandala master is Judith Cornell – now deceased – relating mandalas to our spiritual path of awakening.  Her book, Mandala, arrived Monday – loaded with luminous mandalas.  I need to spend some time reading, and experimenting!   

Through this creative experience so far I am reminded that life, art, and the “spiritual path” are an ever unfolding awareness and expression of our Infinite Being within, only needing our willingness to be open - without preconception of where it “should” lead, or what it “should” look like.  That’s a hard one!  I have all kinds of ideas and images of what life and “the path” – and my art is *supposed*  to look like, and of course it doesn’t always turn out the way I had in mind. :) It’s more like the cycles of nature, we continuously rebirth a new consciousness, a new way of being, seeing, and creating - awakening to the Life *in* everything; allowing that bud of Light within to blossom and express its Aliveness…

”Now is the time
for you to compute the impossibility
that there is anything but Grace.

Now is the season to know
that everything…
is sacred.”

Hafiz

~

Other luminous masters of mandalas :)

Stacy Wills – A Magic Mom and Her Mandalas

The Illuminated Mandala

Guada’s Circle

Love is... A Sack of Rocks

This is what my husband brought home for me yesterday – a sack of rocks!  Not wine and flowers as expressions of his love – no special occasion anyway.  He was out shooting a small video job in Boulder and stopped at the side of the road on the way home to collect rocks, so that I could do more stone balancing J   Now that’s love for you!  Someone who knows what you really need J lol   I was so tickled, I just laughed and laughed…  A man who knows my Heart…  I love that he is this way – romantically practical, and yet sensitive and aware – which does not mean that our relationship has been easy – quite the contrary - but he has always facilitated my “inner process.”  That is the most meaningful gift indeed…

I created a circle around the pedestal balance in the back yard with some of the rocks he brought me.

 It creates a mandala-looking affect – a stone mandala!  I need to add more to fill it in.

And I also created these two small stone balances in the circle as well.

I love this one – a little Hobbit balance. J

 The back side

And a double stack…

(the bottom rock says Remember)

So therapeutic working with stones, with earth, with balance…

Am also working on the next painted mandala…

I’m trying different techniques.

It may be ready by Spring! lol 

Stay tuned!

Nature's Balance...

Monday I was startled out of meditation by a loud BANG against the house or window.  I wasn’t sure which.  So I came out of meditation and hollered up to my husband to see if it had been him.  He replied: No, I thought it was you!  In my head I responded - and you didn’t come running!? lol J

Upon investigation I spotted the Hawk outside, just under a window, standing on its dead prey – a Morning Dove.  It sat there and sat there looking around for several minutes with its intense eyes, as if vigilantly watching for a way of escape.  And then it took off with its prey, landing only a few feet away on the patio, and then hopped its way under some big juniper bushes with its catch in its talons.  It was there nearly an hour before it took off again, leaving behind a pile of feathers. 

 Our initial response was one of shock and sadness.  Nature’s way seems cruel at times, from our limited human perspective.  It was a startling sight to see for sure, as well as sobering.  We romanticize about nature and animals being so innocent, so pure, giving them human-like qualities.  But they are only being true to their nature, their inherent survival nature.  We were reminded that what we witnessed *is* the balance of Nature – life and death – the natural cycle of life.  Of course.  It is the way of things…  DH and I had been reflecting on the need for acceptance of the way of things over the weekend.  That through acceptance of what is, we can come into an inner space of peace and balance with life.   It is so easy to come out of this balance with life, to resist the way of things, and consequently suffer – emotionally and otherwise.  The Hawk and Dove incident was just a small reminder of the precarious balance between life and death, as well as the relationship between acceptance and suffering.  I found the symbolism quite interesting as well – a Hawk and a Dove – a bird of peace and a bird of prey...   The balance of Nature.

 It’s the paradox of fragility and stability,

vulnerability and power,
form and formless,
and learning to live

the fragile nature of the balance…

~

Photo of Hawk and Dove taken through the window
by DH

~

The stone balance on the pedestal is the
same one I did on Feb. 8th.
Amazingly it's still standing,
after a couple of good snowfalls
and wind -
except for the "bird's" topknot...