All We Are, we are...

All this week the phrases: "All We Are, we are" and “just be as you are,” have been running through my head. The first phrase is the chorus line of a song by the same name that caught my attention a year ago while at the grocery store. The second is the title of one of Ramana Maharshi’s books (Be As You Are). And after my "Life is Everything" moment in the previous post, I once again became aware that ALL we are, we are. All of who we are is Consciousness expressing ItSelf here. We are the Self – expressed. However you label that: - Beingness, Life, God-Consciousness, the Vastness, Awareness, the Space of Emptiness/Stillness - is living ItSelf *as* us in every moment. You probably heard this theme in my last post. It’s a reoccurring theme that keeps driving itself home here. So I write about it. Interesting phrase – “driving ItSelf home.” :)

We can’t be anything other than what/who we are. We are who we are… All of it – not just the parts we like, but even our hidden parts, the “darker” parts; the depression, the anger, the anxiety, the restlessness, the doubts, the uncertainties, the insecurities, the resistances, and the seeker in us… All of it is the Face of the Self – Being – expressing ItSelf as us – authentically.....Life as it is – me exactly as I am. There is nothing that needs to be changed! Nothing wrong with this expression called “me.” There is nothing that needs to be done away with, practiced into perfection, improved on, polished to make it look shiny and “enlightened.” The “awakening” is the *seeing* that we are all an expression and the experience of Beingness.

The waves of the Ocean rising and falling back into ItSelf are still the Ocean – in movement with ItSelf. We are the ripples on the pond - all ripples being the movement of the pond. Not separate. Not separating out the good and bad waves, as I tend to do – still – *believing* that “enlightenment”/”awakening”/perfection/True Nature is something to attain or achieve somewhere down the road, something to grow into – that IT somehow should *look* different than the way it looks now. In believing this way I “complexify” ("I" loves to make up words:) what is really very simple - the simplicity of simply becoming *aware* of the space of Awareness – aka: True Nature/The Nature of Reality/Buddha Nature/Christ Consciousness - that expresses ItSelf as this “me.” THAT is who “we” are. THAT is who lives this life.

You’ll have to pardon my enthusiasm as I rediscover this for myself. :)

Everything is THAT. I know this, and I forget this. I become aware and then unaware… And so the still small Voice continues to use the ordinary to softly whisper ITs music through my head:

All We Are, we are...

Just BE as you are…

~*~

"...the heart of all practices is simply sustaining the
luminous nature of present awareness...."

Dzogchen Master

Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche
The Great Perfection

~*~

Photo - "The Face of Self"

Shadow of Bamboo leaves
with rainbow reflected on a wall...

Fire of Life Vortex

The sounds of the rustling leaves,
the *feel* of the cooling breeze,
the coos of the Morning Dove,
the chatter of Robins in Love,
the squawk of a Blackbird displeased…

Life is singing!

Even the sound of traffic,
honking horns, and
sirens screaming…

It’s all Life singing…

I just sit with Life,
listening…



Life sings:

I *am* THIS
and this,
and this…

Life Sings:

I *am* everything…
being everything…
living everything…

Life is aware,
alive and singing…

Life Sings:

Hear ME
Aware ME
Experience ME
*Remember* ME

the song of Life…
the singing of Aliveness…
the singing of the Heart for ItSelf…



Life *is* everything
and *everything* is this Singing Life…

Nothing is separate from this Life
that sings…

No thing is discounted,
No thing is dismissed
as “illusion”
Every thing is always IT…

Everything is Life!



I am mesmerized by the song of Life
outside the window,
realizing -

Life does not see ItSelf as “duality”
or “non-duality,”
as light or dark…
Life just sees ItSelf ~
Vibrant and Alive and Singing!
Playing, Loving, Living…

Everything is always Life living ItSelf,
expressing ItSelf

I will not be deterred from
*knowing* This -
The Joy of Life Living ItSelf
in everything,
as everything,
as me – *as* I am…
Life…


Life delighting in living ItSelf!


~*~

Mystic Meandering
copyright
June 2011


Art: “Fire of Life Vortex”

The Pull of Light...

The longing of your heart
is there to
draw
you
in

It’s the pull of ‘The Beloved’ ~
the Primordial
Light
of
A
w
a
r
e
n
e
s
s

Follow the pull
into
the
d
e
p
t
h
s



~*~

Mystic Meandering
copyright
June 2011

Art: "Hidden Light Vortex"

Something About Circles...

Painting the Enso in my previous post, and practicing a few others, actually primed the creative pump, let’s say, and I went back to my Cray-Pas oil sticks and started drawing vortexes of color. This is a delightful “practice” - to be spontaneous and just create for the sake of creating and playing with color; playing with the movement of the oil with hands and fingers as they make sweeping circular movements gliding the color on paper to blend it, smooth it. It’s fun to step back and just see what emerges on paper, how it takes form, what it ends up looking like, even though the intention is circular. Some colors glide better than others, and look softer. The darker colors drag more and need to be coaxed into blending and smoothing. But they sometimes also create more “character”, a more textured look. Some look like waves encircling themselves, others like imaginary rabbit holes without end; one feels ethereal, and one appears a little dark and stormy. I was going for metallic silver and dark blue, but it came out gray…

There is something about creating these "circles," these “vortexes,” that pulls me in to a sense of wholeness: the awareness of the vast spacious place of pure play, pure peace, pure openness beyond mind and time – just experiencing the experience. One in particular seemed to spiral on its own as my eyes watched, delightfully absorbed in the vastness – as if falling into the vortex - beyond all conceptions and perceptions of what I was creating and just resting there – held by the movement of Being ItSelf…

I am reading book 5, “making fun of play”, in Miriam Louisa Simons' 9 book series – “empty canvas: wondering mind” that she is offering free at the awakened eye website. Be sure to drop over to see her art and check out her series called “breathscribe”! In this particular book she says to just keep creating, keep playing, keep exploring, “as though there were no importance…..no profound messages or meanings to be communicated…..simply play.” And so I am playing with vortexes – circles of color. (The camera doesn’t necessarily pick them up well). I have found a wonderful place to hang them in my “workspace” from a high shelf, like little prayer flags over my work area – reminding me to keep playing, keep creating, keep expressing That which delights in Expressing – just for the fun of it…

~*~

Bleeding Enso

I was inspired today by Genju’s post over at 108zenbooks on the Enso. So I thought I’d give it a try. (Please see her post for a more complete explanation of the meaning and significance of the Enso.) From my own brief research the Enso is a Zen symbol of completeness, wholeness, infinity, the universe, the absolute, the cyclical nature of existence, and the true nature of existence. It is considered to be a form of meditation showing the expressive movement of the spirit of the person painting at that moment.

I have never done an Enso before, although I have been strangely soothed by viewing them. I saw Genju’s post as an opportunity to play, to be creative, as well as a way to possibly peek into the reflection of where my spirit is at the moment…

The first few I tried, I knew I was “trying” - trying to make the circle complete – trying to get the circle “right” – because I knew how it was “supposed” to look. Mind was trying to control, and they looked “contrived.” It wasn’t until I got to this one – the 5th “try” – that the mind at least partially let go of trying, and the stroke became more expressive of the “spirit” within. I was using a clean make-up brush, watered down acrylic paint, and different kinds of scrap paper that I had. When I got to this one I had switched to a pad of wax coated paper that I used to practice folk art painting on a long time ago – to get the strokes just right before messing up a piece of wood. Always trying to get it “right.” :)

In the Enso pictured here, the original circle was not complete. It started out as a big blob of paint at the top left and ended with hardly a wisp of paint at the end. Then something unexpected happened. I picked up the piece of paper to look at it. The paint literally began to bleed – to run. At first I was a bit panicked: a - this isn’t supposed to be happening - kind of feeling. But I relaxed, became curious and just let it run, turning the paper with the flow. Ah - still trying to control! :) Or – looked at another way - maybe just spontaneously letting life turn the way it does – adjusting and adapting… As the paint flowed a “bridge” appeared between the beginning and the end of the original stroke, and tendrils dripped into the center. I watched mesmerized as redness oozed its way around the circle, and the tendrils just kept going till they ran out of paint. Something inside deeply resonated with it, and I *felt* the reflection of what was expressed in the moment: not quite complete, not finished, not fully "enlightened" – in fact, rather raw and bleeding – life energy running everywhere; even though I keep *trying* to bridge that gap – to keep turning life around so “I” will finally feel complete. Yep – the Enso pretty much sums it up…

I don’t know if this is a” true” Enso, as I get the sense one is not supposed to play with them, or alter them in any way. They are just supposed to be a single brush stroke. But here it is – my “first” (5th) Enso… Something about it fascinates me – being able to peek into the nature of how “spirit” speaks to me, without self-analysis… I like the expressiveness of the movement, watching it unfold, seeing where it all goes – on paper that is. Every day life, not so much… :) The Enso reminds me, however, that even in the midst of the messiness and woundings of life, we are already whole and complete in our true nature. We are embraced just the way we are, even if things are not precise and clean… Wonderfully soothing isn’t it? :)

Thank you Genju for the inspiration and call to creativity!

~*~

Creating A Heart Tree

Our beautiful 30+ yr old River Birch, the centerpiece of our front yard, is in trouble. It only leaved out on its lower branches, although a few small branching cascades of leaves managed to find their way up a few of the higher branches. She did this 5 years ago as well, and we managed to save her. With a severe drought this winter, and a dry winter the year before this aging tree didn’t have the oomph to fully leave. She didn’t completely “wake up” from her winter slumber. Even though we have had record breaking rain this May, it was not enough to help her thrive. Sometimes I feel like that too – not fully leaved, not fully awake, no oomph, not thriving, worn out from the droughts of life. So we called the “tree man”, asked his advice, which was the same as we got 5 years ago - a 50/50 chance treatment would work. So River Birch has been deeply fed and treated for bugs. She will need some dead wood pruned, but nothing too drastic as we don’t want to shock her anymore than she already is. Too bad I can’t call a “tree man” for what ails me! I need deep root feeding and debugging!

I was inspired by a recent post on ZenDotStudio about a “Heart Tree” she discovered beside the road, and decided to create a Heart Tree out of River Birch - *for* River Birch. I had some stone hearts that I have found in our back yard and on walks over the years and laid them at the base of the tree. I sprinkled a little sage at her base and solicited a little help from the Faerie Kingdom with a little wee-folk door laid up against the trunk, and some metal garden faeries dancing nearby… Hmmm - Imagination, Inspiration, Fun, Creativity and Love – good for what ails me! I am getting too bogged down in words, thoughts, beliefs; in the distractions of life, the needs of family, and yes, even the “spiritual path” has somehow suffocated that spark of Life within – that passion for Living, Creating, Being.



So I’m curious to know – what enlivens the flow of Life within you? What deeply feeds the core of your Being? What allows the *Life* that you are to come alive?


If you would like to contribute a stone heart that you have found you can email me at mysticmeandering@gmail.com and I will send you my address.

~*~

Still Pond, Silent Ripples...

~*~

"twisting reality into words"

You know there is something that you must pay attention to when the words “pop” for you, such as the title of this post did for me. I read these words while perusing some blogs that I don’t follow, finding the links on other blogs that I do follow. This particular quote comes from a blog called: The Dalai Grandma. If I understood the context in which she was writing this she was saying that she felt like she kept “twisting reality into words” instead of just living reality.

I’ve been feeling this lately myself, although not for the same reasons. I have noticed that almost everything I experience I reference back to writing a blog post. In the middle of the experience I am thinking about how I’m going to write the post! The experience immediately becomes words, and I fall out of the experience itself. I fall out of being in the moment, not giving myself the time to just settle and be *in* the experience. I immediately reach for the pen and paper, trying to twist reality into words, instead of just being in the reality of the immediate experience. I love to write, but it seems the words might be getting in the way of fully experiencing Life directly!

In the ‘non-dual/advaita community’ there also seems to be this “twisting [R]eality into words”, in a little different context. When I read the plethora of the non-dual blogs that are out there, there seems to be a conundrum of words being used in trying to express the Wordless… And I have noticed that some of these die-hard non-dual folk also have a need to correct other people’s words; questioning other people’s direct experience of the Wordless and Inexpressible – as if some of us aren’t using the “right” words. Instead of seeing the *essence* of the words being used, the heart of what is being expressed, the words themselves are focused on. Since when do words become the indicators of so-called “enlightenment” – or measurements of one’s level of “non-dual awareness.” Now there’s another twisting of Reality into words. What *is* “non-dual awareness” anyway? Is there such a thing as “dual awareness”? Just asking… I thought there was just Awareness – just BEingness. And isn’t this creating duality by “twisting Reality into words”? - creating distinctions, differences - creating “other” (which of course I realize I’m doing here. :) And isn’t this need for word games, and to correct others’ words, the “me” that they claim does not exist? Oh dear… You can see the rabbit holes that we can fall into with words…

Rupert Spira, a well known non-dual teacher, added some clarity for me when I read an excerpt of his book on line, called The Transparency of Things: “Do the words themselves affect [Awareness]? Does it matter to [Awareness] what is said in the words? Does the content of each experience affect the awareness in which it appears? Every experience only expresses Awareness… Awareness is the open Unknowingness on which every experience is written. This open Unknowningness, the source, the substance and destiny of all experience is" [all there is.] Yes!

And then I came across this wonderful quote, which seems to sum it all up. It is from a blog called The Vibrant Heart.

“Spiritual concepts and non-dual language cannot…penetrate the protective walls around the heart. [Words] are like mental arrows storming the castle walls of the ego-mind that just bounce back. Love is the great dissolving agent... It breaks the trance of the mind…”

And so, I’m going to be more aware of how I twist reality/Reality into words, of how I jump into words to describe my experience, reaching for the pen, instead of deeply listening to, and sitting with Reality, the Essence of Life… And when my mind moves to correct someone else’s expression, I will try to remember that every expression is Love expressing ItSelf in all ITs forms of expression… Love just living reality…

~*~

The Space of Grace Window...

Sinking into stillness comes easier now
as I feel the closeness of Beloved Awareness ~
waiting…

The rhythm of Awareness is like a lullaby,
holding me in the splendor of Grace…

Awareness awareing me ~
me awarening Awareness…
The River of Awareness flowing as One…

Not two ~ just Awareness,
awareing ItSelf sitting at the window…
An embrace of One…

Awareness, The Beloved, is right here,
right now,
always;
as close as the breath.

The pure open space of Grace
allows everything, welcomes everything;
Awareness ItSelf inviting ITself to Be…

The purity of this
vast space
is clean and clear,
drawing me in;
inviting me to surrender;
to
dive
into
the
depths
of
wide-awake
Awareness

Pure Grace…


~*~

Mystic Meandering
copyright
May 2011

Rainy Day Walk

Yesterday morning I woke up – content… Surprised me actually. I almost never wake up feeling content with life, or life situations. The mind was evidently still asleep, which was fine by me! PLUS - :) it was raining for the second day in a row. That always brings contentment and a sense of aliveness to this being… We’ve been in extreme drought conditions here, the worst in years, so I was particularly enlivened to see rain for two whole days! I wanted to be out in it!

I grabbed the hooded winter parka and camera and drove about 10 mins to my usual walking place, that I haven’t been to yet this Spring, delighting in being out in the pouring rain, snapping pictures. And then I realized the camera was getting wet, and that I was out on the path all alone. The mind woke up: What if I’ve ruined the camera! I’d better be more vigilant about my surroundings. Check for keys and cell phone in pocket. I kept walking, occasionally looking over my shoulder – snapping photos for almost an hour. A lone jogger passed by. He looked safe enough. We said hello, and I watched to make sure he kept going.

On the way home in the car I realized I was so busy taking pictures that I never stopped to be still in the rain; to feel it’s splatters on my face, or hear it’s patter on my hood, to *really* listen to the Silence of Nature all around me. I sensed It in the background, but didn’t stop and revel in It. I was narrowly focused on the path, looking for things to take pictures of, but not really *seeing.* I considered going back to do the walk again, but I was already soaked. It reminded me that this is sometimes how I go through life – narrowly focused on a particular task, event, or circumstance, with a particular lens of interpretation, with some kind of filter in front of my face – like fear, anxiety, worry, caution, disgruntledness, judgment, anger - never really *seeing* Life; never really opening completely to that sweet child-like innocence of play, of enjoyment, even contentment. I felt a twinge of sadness with this realization, and stuck it in my awareness folder for next time: “Be sure to be fully *aware* of Life.” “Just stop.” “Be still.” “Listen.” “Really SEE Life.”

So here is a small montage of a walk in the rain through the camera lens. Hope you enjoy the rain as much as I do. The opening photo for the post at top was actually taken out my “sitting window” from Wednesday evening. Those below are from the walking path…

"Window Sitting" Has Resumed!

For any of you who are recent readers of this blog let me explain “window sitting.” It started last August as a change in venue for meditating. It became a way of deeply listening to the Silence of Nature late at night when the house was quiet, window open, leaning into the night air. It was a “new” way of rendezvousing with deep Silence – the space of pure Awareness – that I often refer to as meeting “The Beloved” – even though “The Beloved” is not “other” than… It’s a space where I become more *aware* of the Inner Landscape. I scribble notes on scratch paper in near darkness when Silence sings to my heart. Or if Silence is silent, I bask in the Rhythm of Silence.

I also started “window sitting” because I sometimes have trouble sleeping and I would come to my desk and *feel* the Silence calling to me in the breeze blowing in the window and in the night smells. Every fiber of my being swooned for this delicious Silence. So I moved a bookcase and added a chair by the window where I now purposefully sit, weather permitting. The weather is warming again, which is allowing me to sit at the open window again. Sometimes it is an exercise in awareness, in noticing, in paying attention. But it is really about being intimately aware of the Silence that is Life - the Nameless Unknown within…

Here’s a scribble from Sunday night...

Perfect Pulsing Silence

Perfect pulsing Silence.
Utter Stillness.
Breath-giving Life.

This is what I come to the window for -
to sit in utter and complete Silence – the pulse of Life;
to smell, feel and sense Silence;
to feel Its Aliveness;
to hear Its Song…

Not “knowing” puts one in a place of really listening,
with no agenda or expectation,
leaving the space open for Silence to speak,
to calm the mind and
sing Its song to the heart…

I listen deeply for the song of Silence…

A breeze touches my arm gently,
feels cool,
smells refreshing;
inviting me to be aware…

I gaze inward
to the Silence within,
that is mirrored out the window,
in the silence of the night.
It’s all the same Silence…

The Rhythm of Silence begins…

I sit back in the chair
listening to the pulsing Silence
within and without,
feeling Its familiar Rhythm
feeling the dance of intimacy begin again…

Nothing disturbs IT
Nothing disturbs the depth of IT
Nothing prevents Its song
from being sung…

In this intimate Silence I am reminded that
everything occurs within this Silence;
all life, all breath, all death, all movement
occurs within this vast space of Silent Awareness
that we are…

In the silence of the night
at the window
I return to
the Silence
of pure Awareness…

In the Silence of just awareness
I know that everything is living according to ITs
natural order – is following ITs natural order,
including this life I call mine…
All life is being lived…


All is the pulse of Silence…
The pulse of Life…

~*~

Mystic Meandering
copyright
May 2011

Spring's Furry Fuzzies

Connect with the Essence of Nature:
Innocence, Purity, Simplicity…

Let them
speak to your heart
and guide your steps…

Love supports you in every moment…



~*~

The Land of "I Don't Know..."

The land of “I Don’t Know” is a very humbling place to be. Everything I thought I knew is not available or accessible anymore. All programs have been dumped, including the one called “knowing.” This land is where one has seemingly “forgotten” all former “realizations”, “awakenings” and “knowings” - and questions everything one has realized about what it thought it knew about anything of a “spiritual” nature, or even the Nature of Reality Itself. You know, like, WHO you really are… Interesting…

It’s like having had the inner landscape wiped clean. You know you aren’t in Kansas anymore – but you don’t recognize where you are. You wonder where the “knowing” went, and if that too was all made up – just a projection of one’s imagination. This “I Don’t Know” space feels rather blank, like absolutely nothing – and I don’t mean the vibrant, alive spaciousness of Infinite Aware No-thing-ness. No, this is different. It’s challenging terrain to navigate and articulate.

Like the rabbit in the photo above, I find myself prostrating before “The Oracle” wanting answers, hoping for a “sign”, but there are no signposts along the way to assure me of my path – no definitive “answers” forthcoming. The Oracle is silent as well…

So all I “know” at the moment is that I really don’t know. And I am willing to not “know” – to be emptied out of all assumed knowing - but the mind doesn’t like it much. It wants to find something to “know” – a nice juicy spiritual concept to wrap itself around so it can say: Ahhhh, yes, I “know”, and I have the lovely words to prove it – so I can relax and rest in the certainty of my “self-knowing” again. The mind doesn’t seem to like word games either – like: Who is the one who doesn’t know, or is there any me here to know, or who is the one who knows, or is there anything to know? “I don’t know.”

So I’m learning to be in the Land of “I Don’t Know” – being open, keeping my gaze inward, listening, paying attention, remembering to turn to that space of Infinite Awareness, which doesn’t rely on what I thought I knew, or what I have experienced – or my thoughts, beliefs, and opinions about It - but is simply and always There, available in every moment.

~*~

Wave Movements ~ ~ ~

There is a “phenomenon” that occurs whenever I go through major life changes. I experience an incredible wave of profound peace that is unexplainable and beyond comprehension before the event; as if I am being “gifted” by The Beloved’s Presence in a tangible way. I should know by now that there is something coming when I feel this peace that is beyond understanding. It happened before my husband got the job in Minnesota, and it happened again last Tuesday, the day he found out that he had been let go. It’s as if it creates a cushion or buffer for what is to come. Maybe this is Grace. Of course these are only words that describe the feeling. Why this happens I have no idea… Neither do I need to know. It just occurs and I accept it, am grateful for it, and note that I wish I could feel like this all the time. It is like being consciously aware of the bliss of Being.

At some point after a major event, there is also a wave of sadness and grief that comes. It showed up today. I have also come to accept this wave; to not interpret it, judge it, resist it, avoid it, but to allow myself to experience it as part of the ebb and flow of living, and ride its wave. It’s uncomfortable at first. I bobble around on the wave, enduring the tempest, gasping for air, until I eventually recognize it as just another wave of life’s movements – oh yeah, here you are again – and surrender. I have learned over the years to simply sit with this wave, in silence. There’s nothing that can be applied to make it better. It cannot be stopped. So I just sit with it in the quiet space of the Heart, until it recedes…

When I finally sat down with sadness mid afternoon today, befriending it, I found peace there too. It just had this covering of molasses all over it… I noticed that it loves to be met – this sadness – as well as the peace within it. It’s like Peace meeting the molasses of feelings is peace. It’s Peace meeting Peace in a different form. When whatever the feeling is is met with acceptance, there is only peace.

Every movement, every wave of life is a movement of the Ocean of Being - of Peace. There cannot be movement, there cannot be a wave *except for* the movement of the vast Ocean of Being – of Pure Awareness – of The Beloved. Everything that occurs, occurs within and as this Ocean of Being. In this there is peace.

~*~

Picture ~ The Great Wave off Kanagawa
Katsushika Hokusai

Remembering Who "I" is...

“I” is a silent stream of Liquid Life,
a silent stream of Cosmic Light

~ reverberating unendingly ~

”I” is the golden thread
that weaves ItSelf
into the fabric
of Reality…

~ fluidly ~

~ timelessly ~

through
time,
and
space
beyond
time


“I” is the Cosmic Heart,
beating Its Rhythm of Love
through Its own Vastness…

~ undulating ~

“I” is the wave ~ and ~ the ocean,
the manifest ~ and ~ un-manifest,
thought ~ and ~ pre-thought…
“I” is the ebb ~ and ~ flow
of life being lived

~ freely ~


“I” is

The

N
a
m
e
l
e
s
s

The

U
n
k
n
o
w
n

just Ising…

~

Just listen…

Can you hear It?

The silent sound
pulsing
through
life
like a silent stream
whispering ~

Remember Me…

“I” is “You” ~


~*~

Mystic Meandering
copyright
April 2011


istock photo

Heart Whispers...

Put your ear to the wall of your heart…
Listen to the whisper of knowing there.
Love will touch you if you are
very still…


Tom Barrett


~


There is a whisper,
but it’s louder than the wind.
It calls to us, “Come Home.
The story is over,
the pages are worn thin.
Come Home.”

It’s like a chant,
a sacred OM
underlying all else.

It requires no doing anything,
or going anywhere
or becoming anything.

If only we see that we are this
whispering sound,
all else will dissolve
into peace.


Rafael Stoneman


~


Make everything in you an ear,
each atom of being,
and you will hear
at every moment
what the Source
is whispering
to you…

You are the beloved
of The Beloved…

and in every moment,
in every event of your life,
The Beloved
is whispering to you
exactly what you need
to hear and know…


Rumi


~*~


istock photo

Finding Peace in the Practical

I started de-cluttering, cleaning and organizing the house this week. This is going to take a while, with so much clutter accumulated – I’m ashamed to say. It’s a bit daunting when I *think* about what needs to be done here, because of what *hasn’t* been done here. But I am re-reading Byron Katie’s A Thousand Names for Joy before I go to bed each night, which is reminding me again of how my mind is creating my stress about it, because I am once again *believing* my thoughts. I have known this and forgotten this a thousand times. So now I’m aware when those dangerous thoughts arise that tend to send me into overwhelm, when I look at the basement, the garage, the garden, and my work space. I started in my work space Monday, then today for some reason I spontaneously moved to the garden, even though the work space is not finished – just allowing myself to spontaneously move to the next task at hand. And this afternoon went back to the work space again for a couple of hours.

I am finding a strange sense of peace in the mundane. Monday I was working at the mess at the desk when I suddenly awared that even as a myriad of thoughts passed through this mental mechanism, I was at peace and internally still. What a delight it was to realize the sound of internal quiet and peace. I was simultaneously aware of an internal flow and rhythm that I knew had been there all along, but had been crowded out by the mind. The mundane gives my mind something to focus on. Being busy keeps me from clinging to the thoughts and getting totally lost in the “what ifs.” I just keep going with what life requires at the moment, and in doing so I find a sense of peace. I’m being in the moment, wherever the moment takes me. And no matter where that is, it’s always this moment; living moment-to-moment, seamlessly. Sweet peace.

I had this selfish idea that I would get my chance to live a “contemplative life” while hubby was away – a self-centered craving to live monastically, meditating a lot, reading, maybe get back to something creative, doing contemplative photography, spending time in nature – you know, life as a continual retreat – trying to find internal peace. But life isn’t unfolding that way. There are a lot of very practical, mundane things that are required at the moment. And I am surprised to find peace in the practical. I’m enjoying the solitude and beginning to find my stride actually.

I’ve always been the kind of person that wants to get the practical out of the way so I can enjoy life. Eeeeuuu – even that didn’t sound good to me – but that seems to be the pattern. Just get-r-done so that you can do what you want to do – like having to eat your peas and carrots before you can have dessert. (Although I love peas and carrots :) But now I’m discovering that life is not a la carte. There’s no separating life into different courses, no dividing life into time for mundane, time for meditation, but living life as a continuous fluid movement – Liquid Life. Somehow being genuinely busy (not creating busyness just to be busy, or avoid anything) has allowed me to see the fluidity and seamlessness of the day, of the moment, of one moment sliding into another – not just getting through the main course so I can get to the sweet dessert at the end…

I’ve also tried living life the other way – more contemplatively – avoiding the practical as much as possible, retreating into my familiar forms of “spirituality”, which is why there is so much clutter and cleaning to tend to now. So now I’m learning to live life on Life’s terms - the ebb and flow of living - doing what’s required – contemplatively – in silence and solitude – allowing my mind to go where it wants to go, while awareing the delight of the deep Silence within, whether meditating or not. Finding that I don’t need to meditate to “find” IT – as IT is ever-present, I just need to turn within and experience it – feel it, sense it, aware it.

This morning I awoke “knowing” that it’s all OM (why that particular word I have no idea). OM is everything and everywhere. Life is OM – the Divine Energy. Everything is IT and IT is everything. IT just is.

This is going to be an interesting experience…

“I am the experience of the eternal…
When you don’t believe your thoughts…
there’s no separation.
You’re everything.
Only the unquestioned mind
would believe that you’re an I
living inside a body.
…there’s no I to identify as…
take it all in as Being…
…the universe is wherever you are,
and it’s everywhere…”

Byron Katie
A Thousand Names For Joy


~*~

'THIS' is enough...

When the story melts away,
and the stories always melt away,
all that’s left is:


~ ‘This’ ~

~ The Flame ~

The Light that is beyond light,
The Love that is beyond love,
The Life that is beyond life,

‘This’ that LIVES it all…

where all thought
and language
does not
need
to
exist


Where ideas & stories

of
I/me
I-ness
Oneness
I Am-ness
or
I-I
don’t
exist.

They
don’t
need
to
.
.
.


There is only

'This’

revealing
ItSelf

in every moment,
however that moment is,
being whatever It Be-e-s

And you know
in your Heart that

’This’
is
all
there
ever
Is

Just ‘This’

And
’This’
is
always
enough
.

Mystic Meandering
copyright
April 2011


~*~


“Once your awareness becomes a flame,
it burns up the identification
with the mind.”


Osho

Melt the Story...

If I melt the story off
the post I posted yesterday -
what’s left is
this weave of words
woven
through the actual post:



‘Something’ deep inside calls me to Live:

The inner Silence and Stillness
that opens the way for
everything to flow…

The natural, internal Rhythm
that nourishes me…


The rhythm of contentment
when one deeply rests in
the “lap” of the Beloved;
where everything
unfolds
naturally
in
its
own
time


The wisdom of the Heart

The depths of Being

The realm of the Beloved


It is ‘This’ that calls to me,
time and time again ~
to kindle the flame of Life within
remembering who “I” really am:

The flow and rhythm of the Beloved…

Simply Living...



Mystic Meandering
copyright
March 2011



~*~



I also extracted this golden weave of wisdoms
fr0m all your wonderful comments:



It is the whisper
of a heart’s longing,
aching to be heard.

Listen to it…

It IS the Beloved…



Just accept life,
not wanting it to be different.
Embrace it
and
let go.

There is never anything wrong.

You is perfect the way you are…



Walk into the unknown
into the Arms of the Beloved…



Live in the moment,
day by day.

Breathe

We are the Beloved…

That is the simplicity…


~*~

Mystic Meandering
copyright
March 2011


With much love to you all
for such wonderful wisdom!

Tell me who "I" am...

“In the secret recesses of the heart
beyond the teachings of this world
calls a still, small voice
singing a song unchanged
from the foundation of the world.

Speak to me in sunsets and in starlight.
Speak to me in the eyes of a child.
You Who call to me from a smile.
My cosmic beloved…

Tell me who I am
And who I always will be.
Help me to remember.”

Joan Borysenko


~


Self is what you are

Fathomless

Self is the Heart

It shines to ItSelf by ItSelf
in ItSelf…

Self is what gives breath to life…

Only Self is…

Self is the indwelling of all beings

It is always here

And you are always That

It is your Heart

…all comes back to the Heart…

Papaji

Excerpts from:
The Truth Is


~*~